2022 was your year, right? Those promises you made to yourself back in January turned into hard fought changes and the material difference in your life is clear for all to see. For anyone still reading, there's a good chance you gave up on the “new year, new you” a few weeks on from making those resolutions. You're not alone: a 2021 study found that about two-thirds of people abandon their New Year's resolutions within a month.
New Year's resolutions generally get a bad name, but tying self-improvement to the new year is actually a good thing. “Research shows that there is a benefit to trying to make a change at a time that people perceived as a fresh start, as people are more motivated at these points in their lives and may want to try to distance themselves from an old version of themselves,” says Phillippa Lally, a UCL researcher into human habits.
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Lally makes the point that you can't just state a resolution, you need to go beyond that. “People need to think through how they can change, what actual behaviours they are going to need to do and how those will fit in their lives. It’s all about the planning.”
Keeping up a new year's resolution is not easy, especially as many of us jump straight into the deep-end of transformation, planning to totally rewrite our alcohol habits or reach peak fitness, then feel demoralised when none of these changes happen overnight. “It is good for people to make two or three resolutions, which they hold lightly, not tightly,” says Brendan Kelly, a psychiatry professor and the author of The Science of Happiness: The Six Principles of a Happy Life and the Seven Strategies for Achieving It. Kelly believes it's important that people don't aim too high, but “resolve to make two or three modest changes in your life”. Realistically at least one will fizzle out pretty quickly, he explains, so have a few ready so at least one or two will last.
It's great to have big goals like running a marathon, but give yourself some slack, and “remember that running 10K is pretty good.” There's a huge amount of pressure to keep a resolution going throughout January, but “if your resolutions do not last beyond the 2nd, you can start again on the 3rd," he says.
Be wary of going too hard at the start of the month, too. “Aim to improve, not to transform your life,” says Kelly. “If you watch TV for two hours every evening, do not resolve to spend those two hours in the gym. You won’t do it." Instead, aim to watch TV for an hour and spend that extra hour walking the dog, or something else you actually enjoy doing. “Replacing a pleasant activity with an unpleasant one does not work,” he stresses.
“Do a weekly check-up,” advises Chris Bailey, author of How to Calm Your Mind, Hyperfocus and The Productivity Project. Reflecting on the habits you've kept up or want to implement is a great way to enhance motivation. Similarly, he recommends charting long-term goals over time. So if you're trying to write a novel draft for example, break that insurmountable word count down into weekly chunks. “This helps me make sure I stick with my goals in the long run and lets me visually see how much progress I’m making over time,” he tells GQ. It's a strategy suited for goals that rely on steady work over a long period of time, like saving money or losing weight.
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Another trick to consider is forming a new habit, rather than trying to break an old one, like adding that extra dog walk into your life rather than mentally deciding to cut your TV time. “It is easier to make new habits than to break old ones because when you are trying to break a habit you are fighting against strong mental associations you have formed between a situation and an action,” Lally explains. “Over 80% of what we do is habit,” Kelly adds, so “linking a new activity to an old habit helps the new activity to become a habit.” Adding in meditation straight after the non-negotiable time to brush your teeth sets you up to actually follow through, for example.
If you're trying to transform aspects of your life, why not treat yourself along the way? Bailey believes that not enough people use this technique. “For every minute you spend in the gym, you can reward yourself by spending an equivalent amount of time on social media. Or, for every five minutes you meditate, you can put £2 in a frivolous spending account to order takeout food with.” It's impressive you're starting a self-improvement journey. Don't make it needlessly painful.
