Dealing with a colleague resistant to feedback. How can you effectively navigate this challenging dynamic?

One thing to always remember, one of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our undivided attention. That means, not listening to respond, rather deeply actively listening to see what’s going on through the eyes of our conversation counterparts. This alone neutralizes defense systems as instead of someone feeling they have to explain themselves to you, they can be vulnerable and simply clarify as you give them space to. As a safe space is generated, encourage you to move your team member in and thinking and abandon either/or/but. Because if not, it will always be what they experience over what you have to share. However if there’s an AND, now it’s what they experienced AND how it’s impacting them, their team, & adjustments can be made

Ask open ended questions, create opportunities for them to speak, listen, understand their point of view, acknowledge and offer support if necessary!

Dealing with a colleague resistant to feedback can be challenging. Approach them privately to avoid embarrassment. Start by acknowledging their strengths to set a positive tone. Be specific and constructive with your feedback, focusing on behaviors rather than personal attributes. Use "I" statements to express how their actions impact the team and the work. Listen to their perspective and show empathy, as resistance often stems from feeling misunderstood. Offer support and collaborate on solutions, showing you're invested in their success. Be patient and give them time to process the feedback, checking in periodically to offer further assistance if needed.

Nous agissons tous et toutes pour une raison, qu'elle soit consciente ou non. Revenir au "pourquoi" et au "pour quoi" du comportement d'une personne permet d'y donner du sens. Dans mon expérience les personnes qui ont des difficultés à recevoir des feedbacks ont souvent peur : peur d'être jugé, d'être rejeté etc.

Diálogo aberto para um feedback de sucesso é primordial, pois ambos os lados entenderão a importância da continuidade desse processo.

Open dialogue invites interest. Be curious about why the person is resistant to the feedback. Understand that they may communicate differently than you do. Be open to listening to their side of the story before you offer feedback. This open dialogue, coupled with curiosity, creates a place where both parties have something to learn. Starting a conversation with "I am curious" presupposes that you are open to understanding. A compliment is good, but only if it is authentic.

Open dialogue is a challenging practice for those with an ego. DON'T agree to open dialogue if you are not ready for open and honest feedback! If you are open, then take is slowly. You are going to hear things that you likely won't agree with. Hear them out before you try to shut them down. You find out more than you expected. I've heard things from subordinates that would grind my gears. I still asked them to elaborate. It gave them time to rephrase what they meant. It was usually less accusatory and more factual. "Jason ALWAYS DOES BLANK." Please elaborate. "Ok, so for the past three meetings, Jason didn't talk to his part so I had to cover for him." Ok, now we are getting somewhere. We can work with that information.

Initiating open dialogue is crucial when addressing feedback resistance. Select a private setting and optimal time to ensure focused attention, fostering an environment free from distractions. This approach cultivates mutual understanding and promotes constructive growth within teams, nurturing a culture of continuous improvement.

It can be helpful to choose a neutral setting for this type of conversation. If you are in a position of authority and invite them to your office with the door closed, they may feel intimidated and immediately put the other person on the defensive. Choosing a neutral location where you are sitting at the same level can allow the other person to feel more comfortable speaking openly.

Active listening is one of the most important skills that we can develop as professionals. It facilitates deeper conversations and understandings of issues that colleagues are grappling with and inevitably leads to closer professional relationships. Active listening is all about being engaged, present, and meeting your colleague where they are in the conversation using thoughtful follow up questions to continue driving the dialogue.

Everyone talks about active listening. But are we really listening or we listen and processed the information differently than what the person intended you to understand? I say I want A, you could have listened and understood that I want B and C. Listening is not enough.

L'écoute active passe avant tout par la connexion à soi et ses émotions pour ensuite se connecter à l'autre et ce qu'il ressent.

Escuta ativa é um exercício diário, pois é o que chamamos de ouvir e que é diferente de escutar, pois o fator de ouvir, conseguimos extrair pontos, já o fator escutar estamos ali de forma robótica.

Active listening is a skill that can be learned over time. It requires curiosity, authenticity, and focus. Respect is a side effect of this skill.

The 'WHY' behind feedback is so important to it's integration. Giving your staff data, evidence, an example, or at minimum a reason encourages implementation. If someone told you to wear blue instead of yellow, you may just disregard it as an opinion. Now, if that same person came back and presented you with a color analysis based on your skin tone, the season, etc. that supported the color suggestion... you may actually consider it in a totally different way from the original suggestion! Even when providing positive feedback, receipts never hurt!

Clareza principalmente no retorno do feedback, pois estaremos mostrando credibilidade e com isso o feedback será um processo muito aguardado pelo colaborador.

Providing clarity is going to help your whole team understand what you just said. You can't waste time asking each person in the meeting to repeat what you just said. You can give specific examples of what you mean. Now they heard at least two versions of what you said. If you can show them examples, now you're using sight and sound. Use specific metrics for goals. Show examples of what success looks like. Show examples of what it doesn't look like. In some cases, show them what thinking outside of the box looks like. If you can direct them to standard operating procedures, then they have a chance to refer back to something every time they need clarification before tapping you on the shoulder.

Effective feedback hinges on clarity. Specificity is key; it directs improvement by pinpointing behaviors or outcomes needing change. Vague comments breed confusion, hindering progress. By offering clear, actionable insights, feedback becomes a catalyst for growth and development, fostering a culture of continuous improvement.

Fournir de la clarté, oui ! C'est à dire, ne pas essayer d'amadouer l'interlocuteur au risque de perdre la crédibilité et la confiance. Aborder clairement et simplement les points importants.

One of the best assets we can offer as leaders is lived human experience. Supporting the human being behind the 'direct report' not only promotes better morale, but encourages deeper conversations around professional development, and can unlock potential motivators. If your feedback isn't sticking it can be helpful to keep your direct reports long term goals as a relevant point of reference to derive improvement and motivation. This allows you to know and care for them on an individual level, meanwhile holding them accountable to their responsibilities and personal goals.

When offering support, it’s essential to first ask what type of support would be most helpful. Avoid assuming that what you offer is what the person needs. Instead, engage in open dialogue to understand their specific needs. By asking before offering, you show genuine care and willingness to provide meaningful assistance. This approach fosters a supportive environment where the other person feels heard and valued. Always prioritize understanding their perspective and tailor your support to their unique situation. Open communication about what will best serve them shows true support and empathy.

Estive numa Squad que quando foi montada, no Team Building, apresentei a agenda dos Feedbacks e uma das pessoas informou que sempre pediu isso aos líderes e já não acreditava mais nesse processo. Depois de 3 feedbacks consegui mostrar o contrário e vi sua vontade em mudar pontos para chegar onde queria.

If you're going to offer support, you had better mean it. Everyone can tell when HR tells you that they are here to help you be successful with a performance improvement report. That's not actual support. That's covering one's bases before giving an employee the boot. True support is having regularly scheduled meetings with your colleague and not canceling on them or asking them if they need anything as you're stepping out of the office. You have to sit down and go back to that 5 Why method. Make them spill the beans. Sometimes you have to work at it a bit. Once they feel comfortable, they'll likely tell you their challenge and what they've done to try and deal with it.

Navigating feedback can be daunting, especially for resistant colleagues. Understanding their perspective is crucial. Offer personalized support, emphasizing trust and empathy. Encourage self-reflection with constructive tools like mentorship or workshops. Utilize resources such as coaching sessions to foster a positive, growth-oriented environment. Together, we can empower each other towards continuous improvement and success.

Who says follow-up has to be done formally, in a meeting room, one-to-one? It doesn't even have to be a one-to-one coffee session either. It is also not merely a tick in the checkbox, like items 1-5 to follow up on. If you are genuine in helping someone, help them in doing well. Do it with them and progress together. It is way more effective than the artificial stuff - "Yeah, I have followed up." So?

Follow up is a great way to keep people actively engaged. If your colleagues or know that you'll be back to follow up on what was covered last Friday, they'll likely try to get you an update before the next meeting. If you can, create milestones so that way they aren't tempted to wait until the last minute to effect change.

Trust! Trust! Trust! The backbone of every relationship in our lives, even personal. Your staff's behavior often reflects your own so maintaining open communication, accountability, and trust is a game changer when team building.

Resistance comes from many causes, so it’s very crucial to understand the root cause. By identifying the reasons, you can address the person accordingly. For example, some people might have the wrong perception of seniority -- company experience, age, or position -- making them less likely to accept feedback from someone they consider junior. Understanding these scenarios helps tailor your response. Here’s what more can be done: - Find Common Ground: agree on some ideas or performance aspects to build mutual respect. - Acknowledge Strengths: recognize your colleague’s strengths to soften feedback. - Tailor Your Approach: adapt feedback to your colleague’s personality. - Be Patient: change takes time. Be patient and consistent with empathy.

Sometimes feedback cannot adequately be addressed due to massive trauma caused by previous experiences. As you cannot change the past, it is eminent to change the future. So start to ‚feed-forward‘ rather than ‚feed-back‘. Draw a To-Be picture and be specific how to get there, e.g. by using OKRs.

La charla de retroalimentación debe ser sincera, respetuosa, necesariamente individual, por mas que a veces se puede hacer una presentación grupal. El colega debe comprender que el espacio que uno le dispensa tiene el importancia que se merece.

Prendre du temps ou plutôt donner de son temps ! Il est essentiel que nous comprenions que prendre du temps pour échanger avec un collègue, son équipe... n'est pas du temps perdu surtout si ce temps est utilisé pour renforcer les besoins, les attentes, les objectifs. Donner de son temps pour une écoute active permettra d'en gagner sur le long terme et soudera les équipes.