Last updated on Aug 22, 2024

Here's how you can use Emotional Intelligence to navigate setbacks and failures in a performance review.

Facing a performance review that didn't go as expected can be disheartening, but it's also an opportunity to demonstrate and enhance your emotional intelligence (EI). EI is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. It's a crucial skill set when dealing with setbacks because it enables you to process feedback constructively, maintain professional relationships, and foster personal growth.

1 Understand EI

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a powerful tool comprising self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. In the context of a performance review, self-awareness helps you recognize your emotional reactions to criticism. Self-regulation allows you to control those reactions, preventing defensive or negative responses. Motivation turns setbacks into fuel for improvement. Empathy enables you to understand the reviewer's perspective, and social skills help you communicate effectively despite the setback.

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Subetra Maruthamuthu

Fractional Chief Human Resource Officer | Senior Global HR Advisor | Malaysia's Woman Leader 2023 | Advocate for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion | Promotes Empathy and EI | Data for Human Resources Management | Mentor
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The first step is recognizing your own emotions. Are you feeling defensive, frustrated, or disengaged? Understanding your emotional state is crucial for responding effectively. When I received unexpectedly harsh feedback, I initially felt defensive and disheartened. Recognizing these emotions helped me take a step back before reacting impulsively.

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2 Accept Emotions

When faced with a negative performance review, it's natural to feel a mix of emotions such as disappointment, frustration, or even anger. Instead of suppressing these feelings, use your EI to acknowledge and accept them. This doesn't mean dwelling on the negative but rather giving yourself permission to feel without judgment. By doing so, you create a foundation for rational thinking and constructive action, allowing you to address feedback with a clear and focused mind.

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Mari Fernandes

Psicóloga | Mentora de RH | Consultora de Gestão de Pessoas | Master Coach Executivo | Business Partner | Headhunter
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Na prática, até a pessoa mais pacífica do mundo vai sentir emoções como raiva, tristeza, medo, etc. A questão é: O que eu faço quando sinto essa emoção? Como vou reagir a essa emoção? Qual é a primeira atitude que devo tomar quando essa emoção aparecer? Questões como essas nos ajudam a sair do modo irracional, que geralmente apresentamos quando essas emoções estão presentes e partir para um lugar de racionalidade e consciência. Ser irracional é ser passional e imaturo. Ser racional é ser analítico e maduro. Lembrando dessas pequenas regras, conseguimos ser humanos sem perder o calor (amor) e nos afastamos da frieza (indiferença). Nenhum problema será solucionado completamente se a emoção não for tratada.

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Subetra Maruthamuthu

Fractional Chief Human Resource Officer | Senior Global HR Advisor | Malaysia's Woman Leader 2023 | Advocate for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion | Promotes Empathy and EI | Data for Human Resources Management | Mentor
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Don't suppress your emotions. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment or frustration. Acknowledging these feelings doesn't mean giving up; it's about acknowledging your humanity. I gave myself permission to feel upset about the negative feedback, but I reminded myself that it was an opportunity for growth.

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3 Seek Clarification

Once you've managed your initial emotional response, use your EI to engage in a dialogue for clarification. Approach the conversation with genuine curiosity and the intent to understand. Ask specific questions about the areas of improvement highlighted in your review. This not only demonstrates your commitment to growth but also ensures that you have a clear understanding of expectations moving forward. Effective communication at this stage can transform a setback into a roadmap for success.

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Subetra Maruthamuthu

Fractional Chief Human Resource Officer | Senior Global HR Advisor | Malaysia's Woman Leader 2023 | Advocate for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion | Promotes Empathy and EI | Data for Human Resources Management | Mentor
Report contribution
Ask for clarification. Understand the specific areas where you need to improve. Avoid making assumptions about the feedback's intent. Instead of assuming the feedback was a personal attack, I asked for specific examples of how I could improve my project management skills.

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4 Reflect Objectively

Reflection is a critical step in using EI to navigate performance review setbacks. Take time to objectively analyze the feedback received, separating fact from emotion. Consider the validity of the critique and how it aligns with your self-perception and career goals. Reflecting in this manner allows you to identify actionable steps for improvement while maintaining self-esteem. This balanced approach fosters resilience and a proactive attitude towards personal and professional development.

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5 Plan Progress

Armed with insights from your reflection, draft a plan for progress using your EI skills. Set realistic goals that address the areas of improvement identified in your review. Break these down into manageable steps and establish a timeline for achieving them. This planning process should be infused with motivation from your EI, turning setbacks into opportunities for growth. Share this plan with your reviewer to show initiative and seek their support, further enhancing your professional relationship.

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6 Foster Relationships

Lastly, leverage the social component of EI to maintain and improve professional relationships after a performance review. Use empathy to understand the perspectives of colleagues and superiors, and apply your social skills to communicate effectively about your plans for improvement. Building positive relationships in the workplace can provide you with a support system, additional resources for learning, and opportunities for collaboration that can help mitigate future setbacks.

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Here's how you can use Emotional Intelligence to navigate setbacks and failures in a performance review.

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand EI

2 Accept Emotions

3 Seek Clarification

4 Reflect Objectively

5 Plan Progress

6 Foster Relationships

Emotional Intelligence

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Here's how you can use Emotional Intelligence to navigate setbacks and failures in a performance review.

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand EI

2 Accept Emotions

3 Seek Clarification

4 Reflect Objectively

5 Plan Progress

6 Foster Relationships

Emotional Intelligence

Rate this article

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