How can senior leaders develop their coaching and mentoring skills?

To develop coaching and mentoring skills, senior leaders should: - Focus on building trust and collaborative inquiry - Embrace a developmental mindset, regularly assess and adjust your approach, and provide balanced challenge and support. - Utilize structured frameworks like GROW for goal-setting and action planning. - Prepare thoroughly for each session, focusing on key challenges and feedback areas. - Also, experience being coached or mentored yourself to gain perspective and enhance your techniques. Remember, what you get out of coaching is proportional to what you put into it.

Coaches cannot take anyone deeper than they have ever been to, that makes them credible. Mentoring is about lived experience similarly to coaching which also requires certain techniques and specialised knowledge. I have met a lot of leaders who thought they were good coaches, but in reality they were great mentors. The outcome was fantastic, the question is if it was because of the mentoring without or instead of coaching, or...despite that and the result could have been even better if they had coached the them. On the other hand, I have seen many employees who were looking for coaching, but in reality, they wanted mentoring. They were not big fan of questions, they wanted answers. Knowing exactly what we need/want is the first step.

Having your own coach/mentor/advisor is a great way to develop your ability. A second way is to invest in your development as a coach. One of our popular programs, especially in 2023, is a program to teach coaching to leaders. It's designed to be a quick, effective way to give leaders coaching strategies without needing them to take a long, intensive coaching certification. Asking this question means you're already on a great path as a leader!

Find a reputable coaching course that is hands-on. Specifically a program that requires attendees to participate by practicing coaching with each other and receiving feedback from the trainer. I have watched way too many people consider themselves coaches but lack the skills required to truly coach someone effectively. Invest in a good course and then practice on some friends. The more you do it, the better you'll get. But start with a solid foundation and not just your own opinion about your skills or someone else's comments.

Hire a coach. I enhanced my coaching skills by hiring a coach myself. The next best way is by participating in a coaching program that leads to coaching accreditation, even if you don't intend to be a professional coach. The immersion into coaching and being coached in a (great) coaching program will enhance your ability to use a coaching style in your leadership.

As a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) coach I’d love to share some ways to build trust: Active Listening: Show that you genuinely care about what others are saying. Use NLP techniques like mirroring to reflect their feelings and thoughts. For example, if someone says, "I'm feeling overwhelmed," respond with, "I understand that you're feeling overwhelmed." Effective Questioning: Craft open-ended questions that encourage meaningful dialogue. For instance, instead of asking, "Did you have a good day?" you could ask, "What was the highlight of your day?" Matching and Pacing: NLP techniques such as matching tone and pace of speech can help establish rapport.

While building trust & rapport are undeniably crucial in coaching relationships, the significance of emotional intelligence & self-awareness should be underscored as pivotal elements in fostering meaningful rapport. In today's leadership landscape, where understanding emotions is lacking, honing these skills is more critical than ever. Cultivating emotional intelligence allows us to navigate & understand the emotions of coachees which enhances our capacity to connect on a deeper level. Coupled with self-awareness, leaders are not only able to provide for an empathetic environment to the coachees but where they also benefit from it, & that is by adapting their approaches to meet the unique needs & talents of the coachees.

While trust is a co-creation with the whole team, I like thinking of trust through the lens of the trust triangle: Authenticity Empathy Logic The leader is most influential in establishing an environment of trust and so must model the behaviors. -> Authenticity demonstrates humanity. -> Empathy demonstrates understanding and care for teammates. -> Logic demonstrates competence. An imbalance in one or more of these areas could result in a degradation of trust. Source: The Trust Triangle comes from Frances Frei and Anne Morriss in their Harvard Business Review article, “Begin With Trust,” published in the May-June 2020 edition.

Building trust is absolutely essential & starts with your mindset. What is your drive to coach and mentor? It can't just be to bolster your own ego or reputation, or, "because I am supposed to". It needs to come from a place of truly wanting to help and support - this requires humility and seeking to understand what help somebody needs. Get curious with them, ask open ended questions, really demonstrate that you care about them & are invested in their success. Trust will follow.

People essentially want to be heard and seen. Building trust is part truly being curious about the other person's goals, motivations and experiences. The other is follow up- if you say you are going to do something (send a resource, connect them to someone), you need to ensure that you do just that.

Maslow famously said that if the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Similarly, leaders need to have not just one, but multiple tools, tips, and techniques in their coaching toolkits for different situations. So, yes, using a classic framework like the GROW model is an excellent way to start, but it is just that -- the start to becoming a more effective coach...and leaders need to work on building their repertoire from there.

Virtual mentoring or distant mentoring is becoming more convenient now. Virtual mentoring offers few benefits against offline mentoring. Mentor and mentee can have wider choices. It gives them bigger and more appropriate pool to choose from. Use of proper technology ensures the experiences, guidance and feedback can be communicated effectively. While virtual mentoring mode offers convenience, bigger pool, flexibility and exposure to different culture; but it lacks personal bonding between mentor/mentee!

In my own development as a mentor, the most valuable mindset shift was embracing genuine curiosity. Early on, I leaned too heavily on prescribed models, wanting to prove my expertise. However, real impact comes from openness, not imparting wisdom. Now I prepare for each session to illuminate my mentees’ needs, values, and visions. I craft thoughtful questions to spark their personal insights through this collaborative meaning-making. My goal is to elicit their inner wisdom. While structure has benefits, it is my wholehearted curiosity and engagement that allows magic to emerge from the mentorship. My growth continues as I foster this curiosity muscle.

While using a coaching model can be of help in some situations, it can limit your coaching and mentoring abilities. A model can become a safety net and hinder us from really listening to what the person's needs and wants are and providing the best possible support. Additionally, when people get used to the coaching model, the coaching interactions become somewhat scripted and important topics may be left out. I personally do not use a model at this stage of my practice, but I have used one in my early days. So, you can use a model as you get started, but it should be something you keep for yourself as a guide, not something you share with the coachee. And as you gain more and more dexterity, use your intuition as a guide, not a model.

Coaching models are the scaffolding for building engagement, but they are NOT the building itself. Coaching success comes from coachees and mentees navigating their way to success on their terms in a sustainable way. Everyone can benefit from have frameworks to use, just remember people, and their results are unique.

Ask your people two questions: "What do you think?" "How can I help?" When you ask, respond empathetically, and act promptly to take appropriate corrective action, your people will feel respected, appreciated, and valued. With your support, encouragement, and action, you will inspire and empower them to develop themselves and engage others. Soon, everyone's experiences and, ultimately, their lives, will be enriched.

Unpopular opinion: coaching and mentoring are two totally different things. Mentoring is about explaining to someone how you did something when you were in the position that they are in today. Coaching is about helping someone rise to become who only they can be. Feedback can come up in either context but should be reserved for when it is solicited. And of course, should be thoughtfully delivered meaning connected to specific examples, delivered in a timely way and focused on the future opportunity rather than the past event.

While giving and receiving feedback are challenging tasks at times as they both require a background of trust and a safe environment, it is important to understand that the main goal of a feedback is to act like a mirror projecting with ultimate objectivity the performance in order to improve it. Leaders need to leverage such a skill by not only providing the feedback but also creating an action plan of what should be done following the feedback. IDEA is a great tool that leaders can practice, as not only it focus on the behavior and not the person, it is specific and not general, it provides an encouragement to keep or change a behavior and an action plan to follow.

Giving feedback is tough in most scenarios and even harder if trust and rapport has not been established. Feedback is best delivered (and received) when it is about the THING and not the PERSON. Take the subjectivity out of the evaluation as much as possible. Protect the person and be clear about it. The purpose of feedback is to foster improvement or a positive change. Spend as much time thinking about the ways to improve something as you would criticizing it. The s**t sandwich doesn't work, and people see it coming!🤨

Feedback with compassion is of utmost importance It has to be seen as genuine attempt to solve the issue than just sharing data points And it shouldn't be seen as an end in itself its a continuous exercise... Ownership of success is the main objective of feedback

It has to be 360 degree. Take feedback on your coaching and mentoring and see if it's helping the team That's the best way to learn and improvise

If a coach isn't being coached, there is no sustainability. Personal and professional development is key. Having a mentor, advisor, sounding board, thinking partner in your space is the best way to ensure you can be present for your coachees.

I agree with the importance of continuous evaluation & improvement in coaching & mentoring skills for senior leaders. Seeking feedback from coachees, mentees, and peers provides valuable insights, fostering a culture of continuous learning and development. Utilizing assessment frameworks like the Coaching Competency Framework or the Mentoring Capability Framework allows leaders to objectively measure proficiency & identify areas for growth. Furthermore, exploring diverse learning opportunities, including books, podcasts, courses, and peer networks, enhances leadership effectiveness. This commitment to self-reflection and ongoing improvement is pivotal for senior leaders to stay adaptable and impactful in their coaching and mentoring roles.

A radically different way of looking at mentoring is to consider reverse mentoring. So instead of only being taught and coached the traditional way, you can consider being mentored by a diverse group of people junior to you so that you can empathize, understand, and evaluate how you can adapt to the varied needs of people in your organization including millennials and gen z's

When I facilitate coaching skills workshops with leaders I find the hardest part of the process is the mindset shift from giving the answer vs. drawing the answer or ideas out from the other person. One reason is leaders feel coaching conversations take time. They definitely do, until you get comfortable with the process. As others have said, you need to slow down, develop trust, ask good, open-ended questions, and listen. Most importantly, you need to trust that the individual has the answer inside that can be drawn out with the right prompts. This will set you up as a leader to spend less time coaching the individual over time because they will be more self-sufficient.

As a learning leader in both academic and corporate settings, one of the things I have observed about leaders is their "willingness to develop new skills." Coaching and mentoring skills are ones that the leader needs to desire. Therefore, in an organization that requires leaders to develop as coaches and mentors, they must first ensure they have leaders who self-identify as aspiring coaches and mentors or identify which leaders would like to improve their coaching and mentoring skills. Why? Because not all leaders are great coaches or mentors. Therefore, when you begin the process by allowing your leaders to self-identify as coaches and mentors, you develop those individuals first and return to the others in the future.

Though the word Mentoring sounds more like one way communication like instructing, teaching, it has to be considered as two way communication between the mentor and the learner. Asking questions enrich the knowledge and benefit both involved in communication. That's why I encourage the concept - "Learn to Teach, Teach to Learn".

Senior leaders can enhance their coaching and mentoring skills by seeking feedback, participating in relevant training programs, and actively engaging in coaching relationships themselves. Encourage a culture of continuous learning and reflection within the organization. Additionally, fostering a mentorship culture where leaders share experiences and insights can contribute to the development of effective coaching and mentoring skills.