How can you avoid common mindfulness mistakes?

It can be helpful to think of life being like the sea. It won't be flat and calm all the time. The waves will sometimes swell, with some big storms at times. So the aim isn't to calm your waters, although that can certainly be a benefit of mindfulness and compassion. We are looking to find ways to cherish and enjoy the better times... the smoother sailing if you like. And to be compassionate when life is harder... to find ways to keep going even when the waves seem enormous and we want to give up. It takes repetition and practice. To paraphrase a well known phrase: When you feel like practising, practise! When you don't feel like practising, practise!

I would take it one step further - don’t judge yourself! That is the foundation of a mindfulness practice. Of course, people commonly share “Sounds great, but I can’t stop judging myself!” The good news - the first step to suspending judging - taking a step back and observing the unfolding narrative just like if you were watching it on the screen or listening to the radio. You cannot act on something and observe it at the same time. With each observation, a little distance and freedom is found.

When I think of mindfulness I think of it as a way of being, not doing. Being in the present moment, being aware of your surroundings. And yes it takes time, practice and patience.

Mindfulness is interesting as it can be understand in two ways one is sitting down and breathing and the other is being present with both being somewhat correct Too often we glorify the end result which is great but acceptance that we may receive nothing is also a win because if we accept nothing we gain everything Definitely love the curious observer state of mind

Setting a reasonable goal for practice is important, especially for beginners. Work on consistency rather than a formal practice once per week. To paraphrase Tara Brach - 5 minutes each day is better then nothing. If 5 minutes is your starting point, that’s fine.

Think of a night when you couldn't sleep well. You probably began to try to fall asleep... and the more you tried, the less likely you were to fall asleep. Mindfulness is less about doing, than it is about being. We find ourselves trying to calm down or feel more peaceful. We find ourselves doing the breathing, when the body knows how to breathe without us. So we need to find a way to step back, to create space for both the practice and our experience during the practice. If your mind is busy, you can't order your mind to stop. Instead we watch, notice the kind of thoughts that are here... and come back to our practice. You do need to concentrate up to a point. Then it's more "be", and less "do".

It’s so easy to say, hear and see the phrase “just let go”. But how can one truly achieve that? That’s the million dollar question…how to let go during mindfulness session. Letting go is akin to release. See and feel yourself uninhibited by the momentary stressors, find rest in knowing that mindfulness is a moment of reprieve. Accept things as they are and recognize how peaceful it is to let go of control. See it as contracting and releasing a stress ball. Tap into the feelings of releasing inhibition that you may have experienced during a night out dancing. Feel yourself liberating your shoulders, unclenching your jaw to free your teeth, tongue and nerves soo they may they do their job. Permit flow to find you and allow others to work.

And when your minds' awareness of the present wanders, which it will, guiding it gently back, with loving kindness, as many times as you need to.

Mindfulness is thought awareness. It is not the disconnect of mindlessness. Nor is it squeezing your brain to find an answer. Mindfulness is the art of detaching from your thoughts. Instead of struggling, judging, fighting, grappling, questioning, or even announcing your thoughts to others. It is instead unhinging from the thoughts. Allowing even a word power battle within yourself without adjudication. Instead , notice, observe, watch, witness and allow the thoughts to stay, to pass, wander off , evaporate or do whatever it is they do.

You are enough. So is your practice, whether it's your first time ever, or you're a seasoned veteran. Will your practice be perfect? No. It will flow up and down this scale of "Good" and "Bad" based on our personal judgement. We might compare ourselves to others and find ourselves wanting. We might compare practice today to our amazing practice last week, and find ourselves wanting. All this is completely normal. We are humans with comparing and judgemental minds. What we need to do it step back and see these mental patterns for what they are: Our own personal opinions, NOT facts. A distracted mind does not equal a bad practice. A period of distracted practices does not make you a bad meditator. You are enough.

Some important nuance here - there is a skill with a learning curve to apply. But no perfect experience to have. This is where a trained mindfulness facilitator can support your learning and acceptance of the full range of human experience.

Close your eyes (if you feel comfortable and it's safe to do so) and connect with your outer senses so what you can see, hear, feel, smell and touch as well as your inner sensations of breath, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I love how this section and a middle way speaks to the learning aspect of accessing our innate quality of mindfulness. And since everyone’s starting point is a little different, everyone’s middle way will look a little different. The old therapy adage works here - “if it’s dry, make it wet. If it’s wet, make it dry.”

Too fast or too slow there is no right way but only to the individual that that journey is more than just finding a pace that’s perfect but exploring all paces maybe touching on the how this happens and why and end with here’s how you can be too rigid or too loose with more detail and more analogy based explanation

Practice in whatever way feels right to you. This might be in the morning, the evening or after lunch. It might involve silence or listening to a guided practice.

A true mindfulness practice is more about self-compassion. We invite ourselves to bring an authentic kindness to our human condition and better understand and respond to our needs and the needs of others.

Of course the above example is great with understanding that you need to look after all the fundamentals but in pursuing this write up the focus should be on explains that, mindfulness is just acceptance of current, past and future conditions and that we are only working towards regulating our nervous system state through a practical method of being our conscious mind back to the present state Touching on the nervous system and how this is more important than ever when the storms here is an ideal add in vs trying to make all conditions perfect but just accepting all conditions which will in turn bring you out of a cognitive distortion which may be wrestling with you to be present.

An important mantra for those starting out is “simple, not not easy.” The overall approach of pausing and observing the unfolding of moment is easy. Practicing to greet all shows up in the moment with compassion, curiosity and allowing requires trust in self and the process. And even moments of kindness where you decide “enough for now.”

Agree with the idea of pursuing this as a life long journey to of course reap the benefits but I would add in that giving up too soon is a sign that you are still to focused on external stimulation which is the reason why you need to continue this practice. Not to gain the benefits but to detach from the outcome. Mindfulness is full acceptance as we know, however if you explained that people give up to soon because that give up than that doesn’t answer the question someone may be looking for answers to. An example: People give up too soon because they believe that it isn’t working, so adding in 5 things that will try set you off course could create an awareness of what they can expect and how to avoid giving up also

I agree that giving up too soon is unhelpful. By immersing yourself in the present your senses will keep you anchored in the present. They help you disengage from anxious thoughts and stressful emotions. If you engage with them you’re likely to be stuck in the past or entrapped in the future. All you can control is your response to what is happening. You can breathe quietly through your nose and with your diaphragm. But you can’t control the actions of others. Although expectations tend to profess otherwise. So I encourage you to meditate each evening. Just observe your thoughts and feelings. Don’t engage them. Continual practice will help you rewire yourself so that you are less likely to react instead of respond and more likely to “be”.

From my point, the most important part about mindfulness is learning how to just be. However as it becomes more popular, mindfulness is used another way of doing. So I think this is also a big misconception. Because we already know how to use these ‘doing’ networks in our brain very well and the most benefit is in the being part. Better that we try that during mindfulness practices.