How can you build better relationships with difficult parents?

If a parent comes to school to meet with me about their kid's progress, it means they are showing effort. Yes, sometimes they are frustrated with school's or teacher's practice, but still, they are there. I had such difficult parents in the past. I found out that => calm and positive attitude helps the communication process flow better => listening to their argument without interruption and meanwhile taking notes make them feel their worries are acknowledged => addressing the key points in their argument in a constructive approach is important; how can the issues be solved? what can the teacher do? what can the student and parents do? => if you made a mistake, simply apologise and inform the parents about how you will act in the future

Parents are the Seen Divine Angels to their ward. Parents are balancing their work-life, as both are working Parents are not difficult, until their expectations & perceptions fulfill amicably with mutual consent Acronym : P = Patience (Being patience & teach patience too) A = Appreciation (others & self too) R = Responsibility E = Empathy N = Noticing (their change, behaviour, attitudes & approach) T = Teaching (soft & hard skills) S = Support (moral & emotional rather than financial) Periodic interactions, communications & rapport built with parents any of the mode & at their convenience matters a lot. Moral, Emotional & Financial Support to each other, a vis-à-vis approach is considered for the betterment of each other.

Begin by understanding the parents' vision and goals for their child's education. Too often, parents feel relegated to caretakers and not the authority of their child's education. Naturally, the parent should have some kind of outlook on their child's future, potential, and aspirations. This should NOT begin with what career they want to pursue, but what they want in an education, and what it means for their lifetime. Once a parent is given the space to respond to this, it should level the conversation, working from the premise that both parties (teacher/school and parent/child) have a common interest for the common good.

I firmly believe the first step to building better relationships with difficult parents is to listen to their perspectives and concerns. Many times they feel frustrated or overwhelmed. It is crucial to provide them with the necessary space and time to visit the school, enabling them to openly share their worries, discuss home situations, and address any challenges related to their child's performance. By actively listening to their feelings, we can avoid making assumptions and judgments that could potentially complicate the situation.

All of our students are someone’s baby. Taking this into account is critical in being able to establish solid parental relationships. No one wants to hear all of ways that their child isn’t performing. One idea that I have found helpful in creating relationships with parents is to ask them what their hopes and dreams are for their student. This gives me a framework on which to focus my efforts. I also ask what their biggest concerns and fears are for their student. This gives me an opportunity to show empathy, but also to provide support in whatever way that I am able. Overall, we have to understand that all parents/caregivers are doing the very best that they can for their “babies” (no matter the age).

A clareza nos limites estabelece um terreno comum para educadores e pais, promovendo uma parceria saudável. Ao comunicar expectativas e fazer cumprir políticas escolares de forma consistente, os educadores garantem um ambiente equitativo para todos os alunos. Documentar acordos e incidentes é crucial para manter registros transparentes e ajudar na resolução construtiva de desafios. Essa abordagem contribui para a construção de relacionamentos duradouros e eficazes.

One thing I learned in a training course was to ensure your own physical safety (this could also apply to co-workers or more physically mature students). If you think you are likely to be in an unsafe situation, make sure you have colleagues around, leave the door open for an easy escape and if you are cornered, counterintuitively, step towards the person and slightly to the side so that they will step backward and away from you. With each step, get closer to the door so it is behind you and you can duck out. Stay safe!

As Educator with work experience of 23 years & Principal of Paramita Heritage School, I believe that establishing clear boundaries with difficult parents is essential 1. Clearly communicate your role and responsibilities: This can be done through parent handbooks, orientation sessions, and regular communication. 2. Enforce school policies and procedures: Consistently apply school policies regarding homework, attendance, discipline, and communication. 3. Be firm but polite: Avoid getting into emotional arguments and stick to the facts.4. Document incidents and agreements: Keep records of any incidents or agreements made with difficult parents. 5. Avoid giving in to unreasonable demands

A great way to establish boundaries is to prepare parents by a phone call or email with an agenda. At the start of the meeting discuss the purpose of the meeting and then begin with the boundaries or policies and how everyone can support the student

It is important to demonstrate to parents that you are very interested in understanding their issues and working with them to find solutions. Always begin by understanding their issues and summarizing their thoughts after listening so that they know you understand. As an example, I worked with a father of an emotionaly impaired student with an anger issue. I gave the parent (who was angry too) a coffee and let him talk. Together, we created a behavior plan that included me, the parents, his teachers, and our child study team of psychologists, social workers and counselors. It worked and the student graduated! Every situation is different, so we need to individualize, be flexible and creative.

Develop verbal "tools" in your "toolbox" so that parents know you are on their side. I also like to have the student in the meeting to help create some ideas. I then summarize the meeting in an email both for reference and so that everyone is on the same page.

Ao centrar-se em soluções e colaboração, os educadores estabelecem uma abordagem construtiva para resolver desafios. Destacar pontos positivos e convidar a participação ativa dos pais fortalece a parceria escola-família. Trabalhar juntos na criação de um plano de ação personalizado demonstra comprometimento compartilhado com o sucesso e desenvolvimento dos alunos. Essa abordagem promove um ambiente de apoio mútuo e entendimento.

Some of the issues between parents and schools / teachers are based on misinformation or lack of information. Providing relevant information to the issue may help parents come to terms with a possible solution.

In my experience, it is important to communicate with parents that we are a team. As a team, our goal is to work together to help their child succeed in life and become a functioning member of society.

Be clear what your line is and what you plan to do if a parent crosses it. Do not accept abuse — you don't deserve it, and you don't get paid enough to endure it. Instead, have a plan. Who will you turn to for help when a situation gets out of control? How will you shut down a fruitless conversation? Remember, anger is the mask that fear wears. When a parent is angry with you it is typically the manifestation of a fear about their child. Oftentimes you can head off the anger by addressing the fear. Before a potentially fraught conversation, be prepared to articulate what the child's strengths are in a way that allays the parent's fear. And, those strengths can often serve as a North star as you chart a course toward improvement.

A colaboração é chave ao lidar com pais difíceis. Buscar apoio de colegas, administradores e conselheiros fortalece a abordagem escolar. Ao reconhecer a importância do bem-estar, os educadores promovem um ambiente propício para solucionar desafios. A busca por apoio especializado quando necessário evidencia o compromisso com o sucesso dos alunos, mantendo um ambiente escolar equilibrado.

Busque apoio com outros docentes , com a coordenação e com a direção. A construção de uma rede de apoio será essencial para a compreensão da realidade dos alunos e , por consequência, do pais. Além disso, cuide de você, porque é essencial que compreenda qual é o seu papel dentro desse contexto.

Todo docente é um aluno para sempre. Não há exercício docente sem a dinâmica dos estudos, da reflexão diária, da autoavaliação constante. Ser docente é continuar estudando para ensinar melhor e para compreender cada vez mais os seus alunos.

A busca contínua por aprendizado é um pilar na construção de relacionamentos positivos com pais desafiadores. A adaptação a diferentes perfis parentais requer flexibilidade e compreensão. Participar de treinamentos, buscar feedback e engajar-se em comunidades educacionais online são estratégias eficazes para melhorar habilidades de comunicação e construção de relacionamentos. Essa abordagem demonstra o comprometimento constante do educador com a melhoria contínua.

One of the reasons why parents come across as difficult is when there is a mismatch in the expectations. It helps to have transparent communication with the parents from the beginning. What the school expects from parents and what parents expect from the school must be clear. It helps parents make informed decision. When parents come with a concern, it is important that they are heard and they feel respected. However, sometimes parents come with unreasonable demands. In such cases, I tell them politely what is possible and what is not.

Respect is a critical element to a healthy relationship. Even when you, as a leader, feel disrespected by a parent you must rise above that, be compassionate, seek to understand and consistently show respect. Initiate positive conversations. Find something positive to share and show interest in their family/child.

I think an important part of building relationships with difficult parents is to keep them informed on what their child is doing. A lot of students don't tell their parents the full story of what they are doing in the classroom (or how they're behaving if it is a difficult student), so helping the parent to see the full picture instead of just one side has been important in my experience.

One of the best ways to establish good communication with parents is with a back to school buffet. Nothing else says welcome to our school like a hot meal and a snack. The back to school event is an ice breaker for the community. Difficult parents also require empathy, patience, and teamwork. Some families need to be referred for professional counseling or other relevant services. It’s important to be nonjudgmental and have access to a variety of resources.