How can you build trust with clients who are perfectionists?

As a rehabilitated 'perfectionist' I had to learn some tough lessons. Mostly that others were not willing to do everything I would do. Then I learnt that perfection is not essential. Excellence can be good enough!! I had to reframe my thinking to find balance between risk, effort, good results, mental and physical health. Its not an overnight process but definitely worth making small changes that bring the desired results.

Being a perfectionist is a mask people put on to save themselves from potential hurt or protect their self_image or to seek external validation To make your client open up 1) Allow them to feel safe to share 2) Don't show them that you are a perfectionist , share your failures and how did you overcome that 3) Appreciate them more for the good quality they possess

What I've found helpful when I've coached self-proclaimed "perfectionists" has been breaking down what perfection means to them. We'll list out all of the times they've been able to experience perfection, that list has been very short. Once they can hear themselves speak their flaws out loud and/or see on paper how far away from perfection they've been, they start to relax. Some have even laughed at the absurdity that they have been creating for themselves. When we've reached that point, we can look at how they performed at high levels and give up the story that they "NEED" to be perfect. That's given them space to mess up, to experiment, and to test out new ideas. That is simply perfect!

Perfection Doesn't exist. And people calling them perfectionists are lying to themselves. Client or Individual, People always care about what they think and want. 1) Desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature, so make the other person feel important. 2) Be a good listener and genuinely interested in other people. 3) Give honest and sincere appreciation. 4) Establish no one is perfect that way they feel safe to share their flaws. so that you both can tackle the problems. 5) Try honestly to see things from another person's point of view. 6) Avoid arguments: Even if you win an argument, You will hurt his pride. Eventually, you will lose the person's will. "The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it".

While empathy is always a first element to have with a perfectionist, I try to help performers see the “mistake” of perfectionism. While expecting the best from yourselves and others, insisting on perfection at all times on all levels can suck the oxygen out of a rehearsal and even a performance. Inspired performances are always a combination of focused attention and letting go. One needs to strive to be IN the music, IN the moment and not so worried about the sixty fourth note values on page 14, second system. Leaning towards perfection, especially while practicing is essential. It sets up the motor recall for precise repetition. During a performance, the focus needs to be on the music. Let go.

Tatsächlich ist es wichtig, Perfektionisten den Zahn zu ziehen, dass es überhaupt Perfektion gibt. Die Frage: "Wann wäre es überhaupt perfekt?" ist da eine ganz wichtige. Gerade in der Musik oder beim öffentlichen Reden gibt es immer etwas, was verbessert werden kann. In diesem Bereich ist selbst die Perfektion nicht perfekt. Wir sind nicht fasziniert von perfekten Auftritten, sondern von Emotionen, Ecken und Kanten. Wir wollen immer besser sein, als wir sind. Das Annehmen seiner eigenen Person als Mensch mit Fehlern ist erstmal die Grundlage jeder Entwicklung. Das Ziel kann im Bereich Stimme immer nur sein, sich auf dieser Grundlage weiterzuentwickeln und den Prozess lieben zu lernen, dann wird Perfektion überflüssig.

What a lot of coaches miss is how important it is to have the conversation on goals. Singing requires training and that doesn't happen in one session. So determining a point in time to evaluate where you are on the track to the goal is key. And with children, it's super important to keep reminding them that it's THEIR goal. A realistic goal is NOT "I wanna be Cardi B". And it's our duty as a coach to make sure the goals are realistic and REAL

Make sure to actively listen to the client and reflect back to them what you’ve heard. Be compassionate when providing reality checks and set goals that are achievable. Provide opportunities to check-in about subjective feelings of progress toward goals and on methods used. Finally, empower the client to continually assess whether their needs are being met.

Tener un objetivo claro y metas a corto plazo es un plan sólido para crecer y generar confianza. Las metas deben claras y medibles.

As an active performer, studio singer, and vocal coach, I always aim to give my students a glimpse behind the curtain by sharing my experiences (stories are powerful!). We discuss a range of challenges, from singing while sick to stage fright and equipment malfunctions. In doing so, we often find humor in these situations, which helps diminish the emphasis on perfectionism. It’s crucial to demonstrate that being a successful performer isn’t about achieving perfection, but about adaptively responding to the unexpected. This approach not only enhances their singing skills but also nurtures flexibility, confidence, and adaptability in them as both performers and individuals

After teaching hundreds of individuals to sing, I've observed that while not everyone exhibits strong perfectionist tendencies, many do experience moments of perfectionism. This is a perfectly normal part of the learning process. As vocal coaches, it's important to avoid labeling our students and to focus on bringing out their best. This can be achieved through engaging exercises &, importantly, connecting them back to the music they love. Active collaboration & communication are key, but we should always tailor our approach to each student's unique journey, encouraging them to embrace both their strengths & their vulnerabilities. By doing so, we create a supportive & dynamic learning environment that celebrates progress over perfection!

Discerning between needs and wants is crucial when working with perfectionist clients, as it helps manage expectations and prioritize resources effectively. By engaging in open and transparent communication, involving the client in all the decision-making processes, and providing clear rationales for prioritization, you can help perfectionist clients distinguish between their needs and wants in a way that aligns with the project's success.

When I encounter a student grappling with perfectionist tendencies, I introduce a variety of exercises designed to broaden their view. This might include movement or breathing exercises, revisiting a song they mastered, or even watching a performance where an admired artist doesn’t quite hit the mark. These activities are more than just techniques; they serve as reminders that the journey in music is about exploration and growth. This approach helps them step back and see the bigger picture, balancing their pursuit of excellence with the joy and humanity inherent in the process.