How can you end a mentorship relationship effectively?

Business Mentoring needs to be continually useful to the mentor, the mentee and their business. It must provide value. Markets evolve, so do customers and so too do products and services. Starting a mentoring relationship without setting boundaries and without setting a review date, can lead, in my view, to dependancy and ineffectiveness. Discussing at a review date, what has gone well, what has gone less well, and whether the relationship is working and should continue is an excellent way to decide, together, whether to continue or not. Deciding to end a relationship, without reflection, is unhelpful for both sides as it does not enable learning and rarely moves the business along, the mentee nor the mentor.

Personally, I do not see mentorship as a relationship that should end deliberately so long both parties are alive. From another point of view, I can end mentorship program with anyone if I am not getting value expected. I can end if the personality changes along the way and the relationship is becoming a bit toxic or unbearable. I can end a mentorship program if I won't be available for continuation for a vital reason. Mentorship can actually be stopped for whatever reasons, assessing the reason is the sole truth of the conscience of who is making the decision.

Often the reason is just that you have outgrown each other or the reason you started that mentor relationship is not relevant any longer. As long as the reasons are sound and you approach the conversation with respect, kindness and immense gratitude for their time, there is no reason that it should not be a smooth discussion.

No one stands still and that's why it happens, people find their feet or feel they need a fresh outlook or simply want a change. Ending a relationship with a Mentee or vice-versa is a natural progression that both parties should respect.

If I am a mentee to a mentor that I want to end the mentorship program with, all I have to do is to let him know in a proper, professional and respectful manner. I will plan a conversation to have with him and highlight my thoughts and reasons for my decision. I will be specific and direct without mincing words throughout the conversation period. I will appreciate his effort and ability to take me thus far and humbly give respectful gestures with my words.

Explaining my decision could be from any perspective, either to defend my point or to attack the mentor so he doesn't act defensive upfront. I would rather explain how his mentorship has influenced me and been helpful for me to take certain constructive decision in whatever dimension of thoughts. I would let him know he would forever be cherished and appreciated. However, I will make him aware of what I look forward to see as not to end the relationship but just the program so we can maintain good relationship afterwards. This is important to address.

My next step should be defined while having a conversation with my mentor. "This is my plan and what I have in mind to do in this so so so and so regards...." What I intend to gain or benefit from my plan and why it is crucial I end the program before going deep in my plan. It would be interesting to remind my mentor of how impactful his mentorship has been and how I will put all of that into proper use in my next endeavour.

Some mentorships run their course and are no longer a productive use of either party’s time. If you are the mentor consider whether you can refer your mentee to somebody else who may be a better fit as a mentor.

Elevate the conversation with a mutual reflection session. Both mentor and mentee learn a lot! It is not a one-sided relationship. Encourage both mentor and mentee to share insights gained, challenges overcome, and personal growth achieved during the mentorship. Here are some examples of questions to consider: What Specific Achievements Stand Out to both Mentor and Mentee? How Have Challenges Shaped Our Growth? What Personal Growth Have We Experienced? What Lessons Will We Carry Forward? How Has Our Relationship Transformed Us?

I should end my mentorship relationship because when my students' expectations of their guidance are too high or they do not understand my value then in this situation the right decision is to end my mentorship relationship.

📌 A mentor and mentee relationship is a gift that keeps on giving. Technically, even if it ends, lessons learned are evergreen. It’s a mere continuation of an ever evolving relationship.

Ending a mentor relationship is not ending a relationship! As long as respect and kindness are present then the formal agreement may end but you can both continue to support each other indefinitely.