How can you gain the trust of a skeptical colleague?

Building trust with your colleagues is essential for effective teamwork, collaboration, and communication. But what if you encounter a colleague who is skeptical, resistant, or distrustful of you or your ideas? How can you overcome their doubts and establish a positive and productive relationship? Here are some tips to help you gain the trust of a skeptical colleague.

1 Show respect

The first step to gaining trust is to show respect. Respect your colleague's opinions, perspectives, and expertise, even if you disagree with them. Listen attentively, ask open-ended questions, and acknowledge their contributions. Avoid interrupting, criticizing, or dismissing them. Respect also means being honest, transparent, and consistent in your words and actions. Don't make promises you can't keep, don't hide information, and don't change your mind without explanation.

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Becky Gaylord

Strategic InfoSec & Privacy Leader 🔐 I boost cyber resilience at the human layer. CISSP CISM CRISC CIPP/US AWS
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When people comment on my LinkedIn posts with a skeptical view or critical perspective, my go-to response is to acknowledge their opinion and keep the conversation going. (Note: That is, IF the remarks are professionally appropriate. I don't engage with snipers whose ammunition includes profane, offensive or abusive language.) Some people like to be contrarians. And they can come across as more contrary when offering input online than they would if they were face-to-face. When a commenter asserts a valid but opposing view in a brusque or know-it-all manner, rather than ignore their comment, I'll respond. And I'll do so professionally. In turn, they often continue the online engagement, which typically takes a more civil tone.

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2 Seek common ground

The second step to gaining trust is to seek common ground. Find out what your colleague cares about, what their goals and challenges are, and what they value. Try to identify areas of agreement, alignment, or mutual interest. For example, you might share a similar vision, a common problem, or a personal hobby. By finding common ground, you can show your colleague that you are not a threat, but a partner, and that you have something to offer them.

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Matt S.

Chicago Tesla Management | Accelerating the Worlds Transition to Sustainable Energy | Chicago Real Estate | Customer and Employee Experience Expert
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Show that you genuinely care about them. Not just their job responsibilities, not just when it's convenient for you and you need something. You need to genuinely care about them as a human being. Build rapport with topics not related to work. Learn about what they enjoy in life, what their hobbies are, what movies they like, etc. We're humans first before anything else, and life is way more important than just work. Check-in on them, remember where their birthday is, remember when they told you they were going out to dinner with their family, and ask how it went the day after. Not in an artificial way, in a way of genuine interest and care. If you do this, the rest will take care of itself.

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3 Demonstrate competence

The third step to gaining trust is to demonstrate competence. Show your colleague that you are capable, reliable, and knowledgeable in your field. Deliver high-quality work, meet deadlines, and follow through on your commitments. Share relevant information, insights, and feedback that can help your colleague achieve their objectives. Offer your support, assistance, or resources when needed. By demonstrating competence, you can show your colleague that you are a valuable and credible member of the team.

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Tarunima M.

Business Innovation at SLB
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Having had plenty of experience with skepticism in my career....the best way to beat it is by being proactive, demonstrating competence, consistently delivering high-quality work, taking complete ownership, and relentlessly exceeding the skeptic's expectations. Do what you say and say what you do is the best way to build trust. Skeptics can be your best sponsors if this relationship building is done right. And, while I've always been disgusted by shameless self-promotion..... Over time, I have come to understand that no one advocates for you better than yourself. However, always pull your teams up with you and not just yourself. Integrity, competency and empathy all matter.

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4 Express appreciation

The fourth step to gaining trust is to express appreciation. Recognize and praise your colleague's achievements, efforts, and strengths. Thank them for their help, input, or cooperation. Show genuine interest and curiosity in their work, hobbies, or personal life. Give them positive feedback and constructive criticism. By expressing appreciation, you can show your colleague that you respect and value them as a person and as a professional.

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5 Build rapport

The fifth step to gaining trust is to build rapport. Rapport is the feeling of connection, harmony, and understanding that develops between people. To build rapport, you need to communicate effectively, empathize with your colleague, and show your personality. Use appropriate body language, tone of voice, and eye contact. Smile, nod, and mirror their gestures. Share stories, jokes, or anecdotes that relate to the topic or situation. Express emotions, opinions, and preferences that reveal who you are. By building rapport, you can show your colleague that you are friendly, likable, and relatable.

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Areej Alshbeeb

HRSBP , Strategic HCM-OD (MSc Project Management, BSc Finance, CHFM, CTQM, CCMP, CIPD 7, ILM 5)
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I agree, Invest time and effort in building a positive relationship with your skeptical colleague. Engage in casual conversations, activities , show appreciation for their expertise, and find opportunities for collaboration on smaller tasks.

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6 Be patient

The sixth and final step to gaining trust is to be patient. Trust is not something that can be forced or rushed. It takes time, effort, and consistency to build and maintain. Don't expect your colleague to trust you overnight, or to trust you in every situation. Respect their pace, boundaries, and comfort level. Don't pressure them, manipulate them, or take advantage of them. Keep showing respect, seeking common ground, demonstrating competence, expressing appreciation, and building rapport. By being patient, you can show your colleague that you are trustworthy, respectful, and sincere.

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Purvi Mehta

Author | Organic Content Writer | Content Consultant | Personal Branding Expert |Educator | Soft-skill Trainer
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By not trying too hard to win their trust. Be natural, be yourself and show the understanding that if they are not easily trusting people they must be having some bad experiences from the past. give them some time while you walk your talk and not expect anything in return.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Violet Lim

Matchmaker & Dating Coach | CEO & Chief Cupid, Lunch Actually Group | My mission is to create 1 million happy marriages 🇸🇬🇲🇾🇹🇭🇮🇩🇭🇰🇹🇼
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Usually, I would find out why is this colleague skeptical. Is it because they have heard something negative about me from someone else? Or is there something that I have done unknowingly that might have offended them? By going to the root of the problem, I can better address the situation. I would do my best to firstly clear the air and then convince them through my actions of my sincerity and competence. I believe that it building trust and rapport takes time. And as long as I am consistent in my behaviour and actions, eventually my skeptical colleague will come around. 😊

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How can you gain the trust of a skeptical colleague?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Show respect

2 Seek common ground

3 Demonstrate competence

4 Express appreciation

5 Build rapport

6 Be patient

7 Here’s what else to consider

Relationship Building

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How can you gain the trust of a skeptical colleague?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Show respect

2 Seek common ground

3 Demonstrate competence

4 Express appreciation

5 Build rapport

6 Be patient

7 Here’s what else to consider

Relationship Building

Rate this article

Thanks for your feedback

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