How can you show that you are a great listener?

One of my best listening tools is a simple three word "Tell me more." Almost without fail, "tell me more" engages someone to share more deeply. Also, if you are unsure about how you want or need to respond to what they are saying, it gives you space to hear more without judgement or without having to respond yet. It gives space on both sides.

You can exhibit effective listening through empathy, openness, trust, and honesty. To be a great listener, focus on maintaining eye contact, using active listening cues, and practicing empathy. Demonstrate openness to different perspectives, build trust through consistency and confidentiality, and be honest about your own feelings. Provide reflective responses, ask thoughtful questions, and be fully present in the moment.

Asking questions, rephrasing, reframing what you hear and showing compassion.To make someone feel heard and understood, it's important to avoid judgment and instead focus on listening and empathizing with their perspective. Asking questions can be a great way to show that you are engaged and interested in what the other person has to say.

1. Make eye contact when engaging with someone to show that you're focused on what they're saying. 2. Use nods, smiles, and other nonverbal cues to show you're actively listening and understanding what they're trying to say 3. Don't interrupt someone who's speaking. It's rude. Let them finish their thoughts. 4. Stopping thinking about what you're going to say next. Listen intently when people speak to you. You'll have a turn to chime in. 4. Ask thoughtful questions to make sure you understand what the person's saying and that you're paying attention. 5. Give your full attention to the person speaking to show you're fully engaged in what they're saying.

Listening is a skill I wish we were taught along with English, history, and arithmetic in school! To feel fully seen and heard is a basic human need that so often does not get met. It isn't as easy as it seems. Open-ended questions are a great start! What do you think? (Ha - I did it - asked an open-ended question ..... OK, I"m listening .... ) : )

During video calls and meetings I use a very simple technique to make it clear that I am really listening - I take notes. Writing down points by hand, especially during face-to-face interactions, signals to others that you're fully engaged. This act, visible in the breaking of eye contact, subtly conveys attentive listening. Additionally, using these notes to summarise the conversation not only shows that you were listening but also that you understood the discussion, enhancing the effectiveness of your communication in any meeting setting.

An essential aspect often overlooked in communication is the power of addressing individuals by their names. Utilizing someone's name when responding or asking a question not only personalizes the interaction but also signifies that you are attentive and value their presence in the conversation. It helps establish a stronger connection (especially when communicating virtually) and demonstrates that you recognize and respect the individual you are engaging with. It's a super simple way to personalize a response and let the speaker know you are actively listening and engaging with them.

I tend to use a lot of non-verbal feedback when listening. I nod my head, smile if appropriate, and show that I'm engaged in what they are saying. This is especially important via video.

Using verbal and non-verbal feedback show the speaker that you are listening. However, these actions have to be done genuinely otherwise you may come out looking like a bad actor! :) Authenticity is important.

I like to show that I'm actively listening by rephrasing what I just heard. It not only shows a genuine effort to understand and connect with the speaker, but it also gives them the opportunity to confirm that my understanding is correct. It's also a good way of showing empathy

Rephrasing is an excellent technique to show that you are listening. It gives you the opportunity to clarify your understanding of what was said.

Showing that you are actually interested in what a person is saying goes a long way and builds rapport. Even if you are listening, being distracted and placing your attention elsewhere gives the impression that you are not. Hold good eye-contact, ask varied questions, use appropriate body language and respond back to points and opinions that are established. It not only makes the speaker feel more validated, but also makes for for engaging conversation! This is key especially during an interview, as displaying strong listening skills and answering the question correctly can create a lasting impression!

Paying close attention matters a great deal. It can upset the person talking if you look away or seem uninterested, even if you're listening to them. That behaviour will likely come out as rude.

Actively and actually listen. Shut down you internal dialogue and don't be waiting for your say and to offer a solution. Some people don't want a solution. They just want to be heard. Let them know you are listening with empathetic responses and reflective questions. For example: "I hear you saying that times are tough, would you like to talk more about this?"

Two powerful words in communication..."I understand." Don't abuse these words and don't say these words if you don't mean it, but when others feel understood, it help foster a connection and encourages more dialogue.

Following through is crucial. Even if you've demonstrated excellent listening behaviours, without taking action, true listening hasn't occurred.

Great listening is about listening to understand, not just to respond. The late, great Stephen Covey taught us that. Too many people spend their time gap searching, waiting for the other person to pause or take a breath so they can get in with their response. When people say "Hear me out" they are asking to be heard in full and without judgement or interruption. When you listen to understand, it slows the rhythm of the conversation so it's easier to empathise. Great listening is about following the speaker's lead.

If, at the end of the conversation, you feel like you don't understand something, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. If you are assigned a task and you don't fully comprehend what is being asked of you, it may come across that you weren't paying attention. Although not understanding and not listening are two distinct things, the latter will be what sticks in the other person's mind if you come back with something that is completely unrelated to what you were asked to do. Therefore, don't be afraid to ask for more information if you need it. However, once you seek clarification, be fully attentive and make sure that you listen carefully.

“What am I missing” is a great phrase when I observe continued misunderstanding or when eliciting more feedback from my team. It’s an easy-to-use tool that prioritizes listening to understand.

Guy Itzchakov and Netta Weinstein have just published an essay that pins down the essential difficulty in strengthening listening skills. On the one hand, great listeners are wholly focused on the speaker, and can spot subtleties and nuances and perceive a lot of crucial details that the speaker does not make explicit. But at the same time, observable listening behaviors like nodding, mirroring the speaker's emotion, making short supportive comments, all take concentration to do with authenticity and warmth. Performing the behaviors of a good listener can take up so much cognitive capacity that attentiveness suffers, but trying to be attentive can result in stone-faced listening that doesn't seem supportive. It's a hard balance to strike.

It’s really easy to forget people’s names during introductions—especially in a world where our intelligence is augmented by our smart phones—but I think a critical differentiator is taking the time and effort to remember a person’s name. In my opinion, it is ok to ask them to say their name again during that first introduction, but challenge yourself to remember their name for the next time you meet them.