How do you end or transition your mentoring relationship with your mentor/mentee?

Mentoring is a valuable and rewarding experience for both mentors and mentees, but it is not meant to last forever. At some point, you may want to end or transition your mentoring relationship, either because you have achieved your goals, moved on to a different role or organization, or simply grown apart. How do you handle this situation gracefully and respectfully, without hurting the other person's feelings or losing their trust? Here are some tips on how to end or transition your mentoring relationship with your mentor or mentee.

1 Plan ahead

Before you decide to end or transition your mentoring relationship, you should have a clear idea of why and when you want to do it. Think about your goals, expectations, and feedback from the other person. Have you accomplished what you set out to do? Do you still need or offer guidance and support? Are you both satisfied with the outcomes and the process? Are there any unresolved issues or conflicts? You should also consider the timing and the context of your decision. Is it a natural or logical point to end or transition the relationship, such as the end of a project, a promotion, a career change, or a personal event? Or is it sudden or unexpected, such as a disagreement, a crisis, or a loss of interest? Depending on the situation, you may need more or less time and preparation to communicate your decision.

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2 Communicate clearly and respectfully

Once you have a plan, you should communicate it to the other person as soon as possible and in a respectful and honest way. You should avoid surprises, excuses, or blame, and instead focus on the positive aspects of the mentoring relationship and the reasons for ending or transitioning it. You should also express your appreciation and gratitude for the other person's time, effort, and contribution, and acknowledge their achievements and growth. You should also listen to their reactions and feelings, and address any questions or concerns they may have. You should aim to have a constructive and respectful conversation that closes the mentoring relationship on a good note.

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3 Define the next steps

Once you have communicated your decision, it's important to define the next steps for ending or transitioning the mentoring relationship. Depending on the situation and preferences, you may want to end the relationship completely, transition to a different type or level of interaction, or refer the other person to a different mentor or mentee. It’s essential to make it clear and explicit to the other person, and agree on expectations and boundaries of the new arrangement. Moreover, you should follow up on your commitments and respect the other person's wishes.

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4 Reflect and learn

Finally, you should reflect on your mentoring relationship and learn from it. You should evaluate the outcomes and the process of the mentoring relationship, and identify what worked well and what could be improved. You should also consider the feedback and insights you received from the other person, and how they helped you grow and develop. You should also think about what you enjoyed and what you struggled with in the mentoring relationship, and how you can apply those lessons to your future endeavors. You should also celebrate your achievements and successes, and recognize your challenges and failures. You should also thank yourself and the other person for the mentoring experience, and wish them well for their future.

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Taras Nohas MBA, ICD.D, CMC

Principal/Senior Consultant, TN Governance and Strategy and Board Chair, North Central Coop
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In my experience I have always entered mentoring relationships by setting goals for the mentee and for myself as mentor. It's important to be self aware and honest to determine which areas of skills, competencies and behaviors you can improve on and then work on them in-conjunction with your mentee. Usually the time to wrap up the relationship is right when you have both achieved your goals from the relationship.

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5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Karen Jones Citywealth

Citywealth is a media company aimed at private wealth managers and advisors. We also have the User Ratings Site leaderslist.co.uk
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Mentoring relationships have a natural usefulness of two years. By this time most contacts have been met and a knowledge lifespan reached. Framing mentoring as a two year commitment or program allows everyone to put the most into it and prepare to move on. However all programs still take effort and there is a run up initially to prioritise and to value the advice.

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How do you end or transition your mentoring relationship with your mentor/mentee?

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1 Plan ahead

2 Communicate clearly and respectfully

3 Define the next steps

4 Reflect and learn

5 Here’s what else to consider

Professional Mentoring

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