How do you manage conflict during change?

Many times, conflict is not what it seems on the surface level. As a leader, it is your job to dig deeper, while keeping in mind that everybody is bringing their emotions, and their history with them. Listen to all sides involved. Active listening, watch for body language as well. I really try to understand each person involved, their inner experiences not just their outward actions as this could leave clues not just for the source but also towards resolution. Many times speaking to others who are outside of the conflict but privy to the issues will reveal valuable insights that I may miss or that still go undiscovered when speaking with those involved in the conflict.

Listen to all parties involved! A conflict is never a one-sided situation. Parties involved into a conflict will have varying opinions. Your role as a leader is to listen to all views, separate facts from emotions, and address any present biases before you proceed to the next step.

Understanding the sources of conflict is a process, it's not overnight. You have to give yourself time to break down what's going on and be patient in the process. This is where emotional regulation steps in. I use a simple acronym: BOSS Breathe deeply Observe non-judgmentally Scan the body Savor the moment It works when you're going through and you don't understand what's happening to just be present in the moment. Savor the moment because life is sweet and being grateful can change your nervous system in less than a minute. Then you can think clearly and understand a little better.

Too often, managers wade in a try to make changes without first understanding the root cause of the problem. This step is key to avoiding that and it's called 'Monitoring', one of the #AmberBehaviour from the Diary Detox® method. The 'Amber Behaviours' (there are two and the other is 'Directing) are collectively called 'Managing', in this case they are about managing risk. Before jumping in to too many bright ideas, make sure you know what's really happening first. Amber behaviour is the first step.

Progress requires change, yet change doesn't come natural for most & can create conflict. Conflict, often seen as a hurdle, is actually a catalyst for growth. It sharpens ideas, strengthens strategies, and empowers action. Where there is conflict, leaders have two primary roles: 1. The best leaders don't shy away from conflict; they see it as a force for innovation. They foster an environment where voices clash constructively, not where dissent is silenced. True leadership is about understanding the roots of conflict - is it fear or passion driving the debate? 2. The best leaders turn friction into momentum. Where others allow conflict to paralyze, great leaders use it to catalyze their people into building something better together.

It's one thing to tell your team, "You're important and I'm here for you". It's another to prove that in your actions. Consistent communication is the key. Set reminders and make sure that you are timely with your deliverables. Hold regular check-ins and meetings, whether it's daily, weekly, or monthly to provide updates and gather feedback. Ask direct questions like What can we be doing better?" Ensure that each person feels heard and that their feedback is valued. Think of it like gathering feedback from your customers, so you can provide products/services that fit their needs. If you see something repeating itself, you need to implement changes immediately or if it can't be changed, explain why. Address the issue don't cover it up

It's OK not to have all answers at this stage. Don't be afraid to be upfront about the unknows, vulnerabilities and uncertainties. Your team doesn't expect a leader to have a solution to every problem. What they expect, though is an honest and upbeat communication about the ongoing situation.

From 20-years in 'Change Management' the single most significant contributor to failed programmes is a lack of 'Communicating' (this is a #GreenBehaviour from the Diary Detox® method). #GreenBehaviour (there are three, with the other two being 'Thinking' and 'Improving') are collectively know as 'Leading'. As well at telling others what the change is and why it's important (to you), a key part of 'Communicating' is asking for other's opinion. While you might think it's a good idea, do others? Even if they're wrong (and they're probably not) you need to know they disagree and mitigate.

Leaders must also recognize that they must repeatedly communicate the same or similar change messages. Leaders involved in the change effort may have had months to prepare and process the change, so they are further down the change curve than their people. This gap in processing can contribute to leaders getting frustrated that their people aren't getting it when really their people are just at the beginning of the change process. Leaders must practice patience and understand the organization's ability to process the new change.

Let everyone know "Why" the change is necessary and the role they will play in making those changes. Ensure no one will be left behind.

In times of conflict you cheerleading qualities have to particularly stand out. Exude positive energy and a sense of control. Make sure that the tasks are distributed the right way, and everyone is clear about what to do next.

Be careful not to do change TO people. Most are tired and bored of this. It’s also given “empowerment” a bad rap. That doesn’t make it a bad idea though. If change is co-created WITH people, and your intention is to create the conditions in which their sense making, decision making and actions are good, rather than rely on you for this, this can indeed FEEL empowering. Note: it does have to be felt though, it’s just a word or concept otherwise.

Asking for input can be valued - but then make sure you do something about it. Involving your team in each step of the change - so they know what the "road map" is, and what's coming - but if they share concerns or other ideas that haven't been considered, ensure your approach is genuine, and take the time to consider what they are sharing, and act on what you can.

Recognition feedback can be especially important during a time of change. Ensure your feedback is specific - not just "great job" or "well done". Your team member should have a clear understanding of how their efforts contributed to the team's results. When you have performance feedback to share, a clear and kind model I like to share is "I notice...the impact is...". Share what you are observing, then the impact of the behaviour on the team/clients, and collaborate with the team member on a commitment so it's clear what the team member will be shifting/changing to get more positive outcomes.

Master Motivational Communication It’s common for change leaders to have different motivational triggers than those they hope will make the change. Leaders may see the benefits of what can be achieved, while others may be focusing on the problems it will cause. Leaders may talk about what will be changing, while many will be concerned about what will still be the same. Leaders with a bias for action may miss that others need to think it through first. These are just a few that can be relevant. Understanding and using the language of the different motivational triggers of your audience can be reassuring rather than increasing the already existing concerns. Sometimes conflict can inadvertently result simply from a mismatch in language.

In my experience, a "Solutions first" approach is a method for Leaders to involve team members in response to change! Solicit a "Solution" on how to embrace the organizational change. This allows the team member to express their opinion, but in a constructive way. Ask follow up questions such as "How does solution x or y assist in bringing the team onboard with the change?" Focus on directing energy towards solutions, rather than expressing frustration with change and new methods! PM

A hidden aspect of conflict is addressing how to work meaningfully and fairly with differing levels and capabilities around “ performance “. Too often “bars” are set which are just not fit for the realities of individual diversity. Enabling people to succeed, particularly in tough conditions , requires an accurate and honest assessment of capability and need of the situation - a far more mindful and psychological approach to management. One size does not fit all.

The often-forgotten aspect of servant leadership: service to YOU. If you do not care for yourself, you cannot possibly care for others. Ensure you are establishing and holding clear boundaries around your work and personal life. You will be setting a model that others can follow.

Always put YOU first. There is always more work to do so, to make sure you stay healthy, plan your down-time before you plan your work-time. If you're not firing on all cylinders, how can you expect to influence others - or set a good example? BTW: This is Habit Two of the Diary Detox® method ;O)

Consider welcoming conflict that arises from change. Leaders should be watching and waiting for the moment when resistance begins. That’s the moment that your people understand that you are asking them to change. And it’s entirely human to resist change! So when this natural element of any change event/initiative/program/ etc occurs—embrace it! You can successfully navigate change with a few essential leadership actions: 1) Be clear about what behaviors and mindsets are vital for the future. 2) Set healthy boundaries for when and how people resist. 3) Lavish grace on people who are struggling—especially when the change is Very Big. 4) Repeat!

A business owner once asked why his people didn't offer solutions when he asked them, "...come to me with idea for things we can change." I asked him, "why should they?" He looked at me quizzically. "Because I want to make things better!", he said. Then why not frame the request that way? "Bring me ideas for things we can make better, improve!" When people hear "change", they think "redundancy". That's because change can be both good and bad. Mostly, it's bad. Instead of using the work 'change', use 'improve'. First, it sets a positive view in people's mind. Second, if it's not improving the situation, people are more likely to talk up.

Change inherently introduces fear. Without breaking that down and keeping it contained, fear will grow and be spread to others. I’ve found addressing the fear (to best if your ability at the time) helps mitigate it taking over the team. Share what you know and what you don’t … let others explain to you what they are afraid of. Spend time listening as often just being heard will help calm someones fear and allow them to exhale to move forward again. The mind is powerful, so as a leader part of our role is to help refocus those struggling on our team from negative to positive. This may be directly or indirectly, through suggestions of external support resources, role change or maybe time off.

Conflict comes when communication is non existent, noneffeffective, and void of value. For instance in sales the majority of missed customers can be directly linked to information, understanding the product or service thru demonstration, and finally connecting lifestyle benefits to products and thereby providing value. Communication begins with a willingness to seek to understand then to be understod.