What do you do if senior leaders or executives are resistant to feedback?

1 Understand the reasons

When dealing with feedback resistance, it is important to understand the possible reasons behind it. Senior leaders or executives may have different motivations, expectations, and perspectives than other employees, and they may not be used to receiving feedback from lower levels. Common factors that can lead to resistance include fear of losing authority, lack of trust or rapport with the giver, perceiving feedback as a personal attack or criticism, being defensive or ego-driven, resisting change or learning, having a busy schedule, and cultural or generational differences. Knowing and recognizing these factors can help you adjust your feedback approach and style to fit the particular situation and individual.

2 Choose the right time and place

The next step is to choose the right time and place to give or ask for feedback. Timing is crucial, as you want to avoid interrupting or distracting the senior leader or executive from their priorities or responsibilities. You also want to avoid giving feedback when they are in a bad mood, stressed, or tired, as they may be more likely to react negatively or defensively. Instead, try to find a suitable opportunity when they are more relaxed, open, and receptive, such as after a successful project, during a casual conversation, or at the end of a meeting.

The place is also important, as you want to ensure privacy, confidentiality, and respect. Avoid giving feedback in public or in front of other people, as this may embarrass or anger the senior leader or executive. Instead, opt for a private and comfortable setting, such as their office, a meeting room, or a coffee shop. Make sure to ask for their permission and availability before initiating the feedback session, and show appreciation for their time and attention.

3 Use the right tone and language

The third step in delivering or requesting feedback is to be mindful of the tone and language you use. This can make a significant difference in how the feedback is received, so it's important to be respectful and considerate. To ensure a positive and productive feedback experience, use a positive and constructive tone, provide specific and factual examples, express your observations, feelings, and needs using "I" statements, ask open-ended questions to invite dialogue and discussion, employ the feedback sandwich technique of starting and ending with positive feedback, and use active listening skills such as paraphrasing, summarizing, and clarifying to demonstrate understanding and empathy. By using the right tone and language, you can avoid triggering defensiveness or hostility.

4 Focus on the benefits and solutions

The fourth step is to focus on the benefits and solutions of the feedback, rather than the problems or weaknesses. Senior leaders or executives may be more likely to respond positively to feedback if they can see how it can help them reach their goals, enhance their performance, or improve their reputation. To emphasize the positive outcomes and impacts of the feedback, you should explain its purpose and intention in relation to their role, vision, or mission. Additionally, highlight their strengths and achievements and how they can leverage them to overcome challenges or gaps. You can also provide specific and actionable suggestions or recommendations on how they can improve or change their behavior, skills, or processes. Furthermore, offer support, resources, or assistance to help them implement the feedback or address the issues. Finally, express confidence in their ability and potential to grow and learn. By focusing on the benefits and solutions, you can demonstrate that you care about their success and development and are not trying to criticize them.

5 Follow up and follow through

The fifth step is to follow up and follow through with the feedback, and make sure that it is not a one-time event, but a continuous process. To ensure accountability, consistency, and reinforcement, you should agree on a specific action plan or timeline for implementation or resolution, schedule regular check-ins or meetings to monitor progress, provide ongoing feedback and recognition on the feedback, address any concerns from senior leaders or executives, and celebrate achievements or changes made. By following up and following through, you can demonstrate your commitment to the feedback process and foster a culture of feedback and learning in the organization.

6 Be open and receptive

The final step is to be open and receptive to feedback yourself, and model the behavior that you expect from the senior leader or executive. Feedback is a two-way street, and it is important to show that you are willing and eager to receive it from them, and that you value their opinions and insights. To do this, you should ask for feedback regularly and proactively, thank them for their feedback, listen attentively and respectfully, acknowledge and accept the feedback even if you disagree or feel uncomfortable, reflect and act on the feedback, show improvement or change, seek clarification or feedback on your feedback, and learn from your mistakes. By being open and receptive to feedback, you can build trust and rapport with the senior leader or executive, creating a valuable feedback loop for both of you.