What do you do if your assertiveness is being perceived as aggression in your career?

Your Assertiveness could be perceived as Aggression by someone and vice versa. The perception changes based on the extent of Vulnerability felt by the person in front of you. Empathise and Modulate yourself based on the stakes involved in the situation.

Reflect + Understand = Effective Self-Management Self-awareness is the first step towards effective self-management. Tip: Ask yourself why your assertiveness might be perceived as aggression. Consider your tone, body language, and communication style to identify areas for improvement and potential misunderstandings. Keep Bossing Up!

If my assertiveness is perceived as aggression in my career, I reflect on my communication style, tone, and body language. I assess whether I've been respectful and considerate in expressing my views. I also consider the context and the personalities involved. Seeking feedback from colleagues or mentors can provide valuable insights. Additionally, I evaluate whether my assertiveness aligns with the organizational culture and goals. Adjusting my approach to be more diplomatic and collaborative while still asserting my views can help bridge the gap between assertiveness and perceived aggression.

Self-reflection is key when addressing perceptions of aggression in your career. Consider feedback for patterns where assertiveness may be misunderstood. Reflect on tone, body language, and word choice; how you say it matters. Acknowledge intentions, but be open to the possibility of misalignment between intent and delivery.

The importance of self-reflection in navigating perceptions of aggression in the workplace is crucial for growth . It is essential to consider feedback, identify patterns, and reflect on communication style , this resonates deeply with me. Recognizing that delivery can significantly impact how our messages are received is key, and being open to refining our approach is vital for fostering positive interactions and relationships. This reminder to align intentions with delivery is invaluable for promoting a more harmonious and productive work environment.

Seek + Embrace = Valuable Insights Tip: Actively listen to feedback with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt. Consider the feedback objectively and use it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement in your communication and interpersonal skills. Keep Bossing Up!

Being assertive can seem aggression to some of the people based on there perspective and the mental situation they are in. - The first thing you can do is reflect on your activities and the way you communicate, you might find something that you want to change. - Seek feedback from seniors and juniors, be open to it and genuinely ask them where can you improve. - Notice the patterns and talk it out with the person who is findind it aggressive. Remember there is always a scope of growth and change so be open to it.

As an ICF coach, I believe in the power of self-reflection to address perceptions of aggression in one's career. Take time to analyze feedback and recognize patterns where assertiveness may be misconstrued. Reflect on tone, body language, and word choice; sometimes, it's not what's said but how it's said. Acknowledge intentions while remaining open to the possibility of misalignment between intent and delivery.

Ask what it is that makes your colleagues, mentors, friends, etc. feel that way. Is it your tone? Facial expressions? Choice of words? When you ask for feedback, make sure that the opposite party knows that they are free to speak truthfully without the fear of judgement. You should also mentally prepare to receive feedback before you ask for it. As long as the interaction is respectful, there shouldn't be an issue. This is a basic explanation, but it should help a bit.

Seek guidance from a trusted advisor or mentor and request their candid feedback on your communication style. They can help you identify certain behaviours that you may not have realised could come across as aggressive. Consider incorporating a comprehensive feedback process involving input from colleagues, superiors, and subordinates. This can provide valuable insights and perspectives. You can gain valuable insights into how others perceive you at various levels of the organisation.

Practice + Adapt = Assertive Diplomacy Tip: Practice assertive communication techniques such as using "I" statements, active listening, and maintaining a calm and composed demeanor. Be mindful of your tone, volume, and choice of words to convey confidence and conviction while remaining respectful and considerate of others' perspectives. Keep Bossing Up!

After gathering feedback, adjust your communication style to be clear and concise, avoiding being curt. Practice active listening to fully understand others' messages and respond thoughtfully. This shows respect and avoids interruptions or talking over others, perceived as aggression. Use 'we' language to foster collaboration over confrontation.

When we are certain about our assertiveness without aggression (Refer comments on point 1), it's beneficial to consider the response of the other party. Often, their response might stem from their Parent or Child ego states rather than their Adult ego state. This response can be influenced by their own fears or perceptions shaped by critical figures from their past. Understanding this helps in developing empathy & patience even when our communication is misunderstood. If fostering genuine understanding is the goal,it's essential to make efforts to communicate intentions beyond the incident or the specific content of the message. For every misunderstanding presents an opportunity for profound connection.

Ask a close co-worker how you come across in meetings. If they say you assertiveness is coming on aggressively then re-evaluate. Maybe you need to approach from a different angle. Maybe you need to put that assertiveness into action before speaking and drive results and it will be seen as a go getter instead, who wants the good of the company and not for themselves.

Expressing your demands and worries with "I" statements is more successful than accusatory comments that may sound hostile. Instead of "You always miss deadlines!" say ", I feel frustrated when deadlines are missed because it impacts the whole team". This approach promotes responsibility over blame. Practice active listening. Listen to others, repeat their ideas in your own words, and ask questions if needed. This fosters mutual respect and cooperation. Body Language: Consider your demeanour. Keep eye contact, but don't stare. Keep a relaxed, confident stance and use engaging, approachable facial expressions. Even if you disagree, speak calmly.

This advice on managing emotions resonates deeply with me, as I've encountered situations where frustration or anger has threatened to overshadow my assertiveness. The reminder to pause and breathe during such moments is a simple yet powerful strategy to regain composure and prevent escalation. I appreciate the emphasis on maintaining empathy and understanding, even in the face of disagreement or conflict. It serves as a valuable reminder that assertiveness doesn't have to sacrifice empathy, and that finding a balance between firmness and compassion is essential for effective communication and relationship-building.

Channel + Regulate = Emotional Intelligence Tip: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, or meditation to stay centered and composed in challenging situations. Take proactive steps to address any underlying stressors or triggers that may contribute to heightened emotions or reactive behavior. Keep Bossing Up!

One who masters the emotions has won half the battle already. Don't react rather respond, it's easier said than done, but a conscious effort can lead you there, few tips you can use: 1. Identify your emotional triggers and be self aware 2. Hold on to any instant reactions, e.g. draft a response to an email that may have emotionally charged you but don't send it yet 3. Revisit the draft after sometime, I am sure you will modify the response, be respectful keeping the core message intact 4. Sometimes during meetings, some loose comments may be very disturbing, take a moment to formulate your response and then make the point. It is very important to put the message across and can be done in a calm and respectful manner

Pay attention to your tone of voice and body language during conversations. Aim for a calm and respectful tone, and avoid gestures or expressions that may come across as confrontational or intimidating.

Often when feedback is received, especially when people around you feel you are being too aggressive, you tend to react negatively - either you will retreat in a shell or you will react by getting angry. Managing and balancing emotions takes a lot of maturity and it's important to show that if you wish to stay in the game for a longer run.

Cultivate + Understand = Mutual Respect Tip: Put yourself in the shoes of others and consider their motivations, concerns, and viewpoints. Approach interactions with empathy, patience, and a genuine desire to understand and connect with others, fostering positive relationships and effective communication in the workplace. Keep Bossing Up!

I will reflect on my approach and tone, ensuring they are respectful and empathetic. I listen actively to others' viewpoints, seeking to understand their perspectives without judgment. I acknowledge their feelings and concerns, demonstrating empathy through supportive gestures and validating their experiences. I adjust my communication style to convey assertiveness while prioritizing collaboration and mutual respect. By practicing empathy, I foster positive relationships and mitigate misunderstandings, promoting a more harmonious work environment.

Empathy is something we are all capable of, and sometimes, we need to be reminded of how to execute it and the effect it can have. If empathy is not 'natural' to you, ask yourself why not. Is it because it takes time, you don't care for it, or is it simply that you don't know how to use it? The best leaders get the most out of people by listening to them—not solving, not answering, just listening. Listening is the start of empathy., Everyone can listen (no offence meant to those with hearing difficulties, listening is understanding how the other is trying to communicate)

It is believed that empathy is innate. It can not be changed. While the total lack of empathy that comes with personality disorders may or may not be changeable, most people can change their ability to change themselves to be able to see the other perspective. For some it may come naturally, others can make it good enough with adequate practice.

Perceptions matter, and it's always surprising when people ignore them or underestimate their impact. Being assertive, in and of itself, is not a bad trait. Rather, it's all in how it manifests and how it affects those witnessing it. Empathy can give you a new perspective, that of those who are reacting to your assertiveness. Use that new skill to create a shared understanding and gain allies, which can help reduce misperceptions and build bridges across any organization. An empathetic approach shows that your assertiveness is not a threat to others but rather a sign of dedication and commitment.

The best thing you can do to help your growth journey is constantly seeking feedback and learning opportunities. Be prepared, though, because it can be jarring when you think you're at the top of your game only to get feedback that you missed the mark or may be harming the message you're trying to convey. Seek mentors, be open to their suggestions, and embrace being uncomfortable during the process; that is essential to growing and improving.

I believe every moment we have something to learn. Normally, at the start of my session or in my team meeting I always stress upon the importance with a statement that a body becomes human only when the learning is happening else it’s equivalent to a vegetative state only. Two key words remember with the example of Sachin Tendulkar and Brain Lara. Both were legends in their own ways. Yet, Sachin’s career was longer than Lara’s. It’s understanding the importance of “TRANSITION” while one keeps “EVOLVING”. Sachin was able to transition well at every stage of his career spanning 3 decades. Some simple tweaks he did in his technique as he knew he is master of his skill & capabilities. So let us tweak here & there as we evolve and transit

Demonstrate that you value others' opinions and perspectives by practicing active listening. This involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively 'hearing' the message. Show empathy and validate others' viewpoints before expressing your own. When expressing your thoughts or concerns, use "I" statements to convey your perspective without sounding accusatory or confrontational. For example, instead of saying, "You're wrong about this," try saying, "I see things differently because..." Consider attending workshops or seeking coaching on communication skills, assertiveness, and conflict resolution. These resources can provide you with practical strategies for effective communicating your ideas.

Reassess your communication style and approach. Here are some steps you can take: 1. Reflect on Feedback Received 2. Adjust Your Communication 3. Seek Understanding 4. Practice Active Listening 5. Clarify Intentions 6. Apologize if Necessary 7. Get a Coach or Mentor 8. Role-Play With Your Coach/Mentor Remember, assertiveness is about being confident and direct while also being empathetic and respectful. It's a skill that can be honed over time with practice

Check in; What do you want to achieve? Which values of yours are you honoring by being assertive? What is your leader within saying about the feedback? Do not forget most radical action towards your dream is “not to try to fit in” but be your authentic self boldly.

Se a assertividade é percebida como agressividade na carreira, deve-se procurar adotar medidas como autoavaliação, busca de feedback, ajuste de comportamento, prática de escuta ativa, educação e desenvolvimento, construção de relacionamentos e adaptação. O objetivo é melhorar a percepção da assertividade e garantir interações positivas e construtivas no ambiente profissional.

From my experience, being assertive might seem like being aggressive only someone behaves dominant and arrogant, talks too loudly and doesn't listen to others. I'm pretty assertive myself, but I keep my voice calm and always ask for and use other people's feedback in my final suggestions. When you're assertive but also show you care and listen to others, people usually don't see it as aggression. Instead, they respect you more and are more likely to agree with and support your decisions.