What are the most effective ways to manage resistance to change when coaching?

A commitment and willingness to change has a direct impact on whether or not the resistance will be overcome. It is helpful if the client is eager to change. The coach should challenge the assumptions and beliefs which are holding the client back. For example, somebody may have said something to the client about their capabilities and they irrationally believed this, thus it holds them back. The coach may help the client to overcome resistance to change by reframing the situation/problem so they see it from another perspective. It may be complex and the client may not realise that they are in their own way, therefore, trust and rapport is important so the coach may delve deeper and support the client in overcoming obstacles and fears.

In new coaching relationships, there's often a resistance to fully commit to the process due to past struggles and frustrations. Maybe the mentee was burned by a previous provider, or feel that your process won't be any different than those they've previously experienced. Enter the relationship with the understanding this could be possible. And immediately provide a benefit - in the first 48 hours of working together give them a tangible win. This is a quick way to win trust, and help to break down the walls that will prevent your mentee from being fully transparent with you and willing to commit to the process.

Seeking the source is absolutely critical. Reluctance is a result of fear, uncertainty, & doubt (FUD), which lies in our amygdala’s trigger from the hippocampus. There is a prior negative experience associated with change. It may be the word itself stemming from its use in a negative way, or it was paired with a negative outcome. Self confidence, current stresses, prior agreements, comfort in current habits, an expected ROI from the change, a lack of trust in the coach who may not have anything at risk if every step of change is taken and the situation inspiring the change consideration does not improve, a lack of optimism that anything positive will result from the effort, etc., all play a part in reluctance.

Change is hard, some people embrace it and see it as an opportunity whilst others are more cautious and often fearful. So it's important to understand what is causing this resistance on a deeper level. In the first instance trust needs to be established. People only upon up when they feel what they say is in trust and confidence. Next listen more than talk. People fee valued when you truly listen to them. From here you can understand the challenges faced and work through them, one step at a time.

The type of support and encouragement should be tailored specifically to the root cause of the coachees reluctance. If the coachee is reluctant due to a misunderstanding or lack of clarity, the above suggestions would be beneficial. However, too often reluctant coachees stem from a fixed mindset. Sharing testimonials, success stories, or reiterating the need for change may provide short term changes, but long term change will require a more in depth approach. Coaching focused on accountability and growth will be crucial for this coachee. It involves reframing negative mindsets, ensuring understanding of their impact, and developing personalized goals. By outlining actions and envisioning success, a growth mindset will develop.

I separate coaching from mentoring. I consider coaching a way to improve performance ie: typing, and mentoring as an avenue to learn new skills ie: supervision. As a coach, I offer alternate options to improve efficiency like prioritizing emails or data analysis. Allowing their input to identify the problem is what opens them for improvement. As a mentor, I walk the mentee through scenarios to understand their grasp of a concept like listening and responding to resolve a problem. Once the mentee understands the intended result that allows them to be invested in a positive outcome. I find that resistance is minimized once they are offered options to solve a problem or to gain and improve a skill.

Once you have progressed significantly in your mentoring journey with your mentee, challenging their belief system and perceptions can indeed be an effective way not only to push their limits but also to hold them accountable. This approach often leads to the need to revisit the goals and/or the timeline. As humans, we are continually evolving and learning through our life experiences and failures. These experiences inadvertently alter our perspectives and emotional intelligence. Revisiting the 'Whys' by consistently and positively challenging the mentee's assumptions and changing expectations, instead of mindlessly pursuing the goal merely because we committed to it, is the most critical and challenging role for any mentor.

That’s why after the much talked about SMART Goals, we decided to look at SMARTER Goals, where E stood for Evaluation and R for Revisiting..

This is the most important step. Accepting the coachee's pace of change is critical. This step is required at every stage of the coaching process. The objective of an effective Coach is to enable the coachee to discover the areas of change, uncover hidden answers towards actionable inspiration and then have the patience to see the magic happen. Always respecting coachee's pace.

Before any of these methods will work, the individual needs to be able to identify when they are resisting change and acknowledge that resistance it present. Its only then that you can dive into the thoughts and beliefs that are creating the resistance, identify how having resistance is affecting or impacting their life so they have a “why” behind making a change… and THEN you address the fear that lies beneath and the lies it has been telling you. Once you can see these thoughts as lies than you can begin changing them with the approaches listed.

Resistance to change is basically fear of the unknown. Change management mostly creates circumstances where individuals or organizations can recognize their potential in the sense of safety and justice. You should always consider what is familiar, what is unknown, but in the end people trust, if their resources are within their reach. I always start with what is familiar and within their control, opening a perceptual change, trying to see different angles and asking them to define priorities - personal and organizational. Change often occur once relations are established. People will not change if they can't see what's in for them personaly.