What are some best practices for influencing others without authority or coercion?

1 Understand their needs

The first step to influencing others is to understand their needs, motivations, and perspectives. This will help you tailor your communication, address their concerns, and find common ground. To do this, you need to listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and empathize with their emotions. You also need to avoid making assumptions, judgments, or criticisms that could damage the relationship or trigger defensiveness.

2 Provide value

The second step to influencing others is to provide value to them. This means showing how your ideas, suggestions, or requests can benefit them, solve their problems, or meet their needs. You also need to demonstrate your credibility, expertise, and reliability by sharing relevant information, evidence, or examples. You can also use stories, anecdotes, or testimonials to illustrate the value of your proposals and appeal to their emotions.

3 Use positive language

The third step to influencing others is to use positive language that conveys respect, appreciation, and confidence. This will help you create a positive impression, build rapport, and reduce resistance. You can use positive language by expressing gratitude, recognition, or praise, using polite and courteous words, avoiding negative or blaming statements, and framing your messages in terms of benefits, opportunities, or solutions.

4 Seek feedback

The fourth step to influencing others is to seek feedback from them. This means inviting their opinions, input, or suggestions, and acknowledging their contributions. This will help you show that you value their perspectives, involve them in the process, and address any gaps or misunderstandings. You can seek feedback by asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing or summarizing their points, and clarifying or confirming their expectations.

5 Collaborate and compromise

The fifth step to influencing others is to collaborate and compromise with them. This means working together to find mutually acceptable solutions, respecting their preferences and boundaries, and making concessions or trade-offs when necessary. This will help you foster a sense of partnership, trust, and commitment, and avoid power struggles or conflicts. You can collaborate and compromise by exploring options, brainstorming ideas, or negotiating terms.

6 Follow up and follow through

The sixth and final step to influencing others is to follow up and follow through with them. This means keeping in touch, providing updates, delivering on your promises, and seeking feedback on the outcomes. This will help you maintain the relationship, demonstrate your accountability and integrity, and reinforce your influence. You can follow up and follow through by sending thank-you notes, reminders, or reports, asking for feedback, or celebrating successes.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?