What are some tips for giving feedback to a peer with a different opinion than you?

Giving feedback to a peer with a different opinion than you can be challenging, but also rewarding. Feedback is a key skill for peer support, as it helps you and your peer learn from each other, improve your performance, and build trust. However, feedback can also cause conflict, misunderstanding, or resentment if it is not delivered or received well. Here are some tips for giving feedback to a peer with a different opinion than you in a respectful and constructive way.

1 Understand the purpose

Before you give feedback, ask yourself why you want to do it. What is your goal? How will it benefit your peer and yourself? Is it relevant, timely, and specific? Feedback should not be used to criticize, judge, or impose your opinion on your peer, but to help them grow and improve. Feedback should also be aligned with the expectations and standards of your peer support role, and not based on your personal preferences or biases.

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2 Choose the right time and place

Feedback is more likely to be effective and well-received if it is given at an appropriate time and place. Choose a moment when your peer is ready and willing to listen, and not distracted, stressed, or defensive. Avoid giving feedback in front of others, as it may embarrass or intimidate your peer. Instead, find a private and comfortable space where you can have a respectful and honest conversation. If possible, ask your peer for permission to give feedback, and explain the purpose and scope of it.

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3 Use the sandwich method

A common technique for giving feedback is the sandwich method, which consists of three steps: praise, critique, and encourage. Start by acknowledging something positive that your peer did or said, and express your appreciation or admiration. Then, share your different opinion or perspective, and explain why you think it is important or valuable. Provide specific examples or evidence to support your point, and avoid generalizations or assumptions. Finally, end with a positive note, and offer your support or suggestions for improvement. This way, you can balance the feedback and avoid hurting your peer's feelings or confidence.

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Kesh Chandran

Curiosity-driven in utilizing cross-industry connections to facilitate positive outcomes
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The sandwich method is a simplistic way of critique, but can quickly turn sideways if peers start expecting criticism as soon as they hear compliments, which might make them discount the compliment altogether. I utilize a "chirp or chip" framework. Someone with limited confidence or knowledge may require complimentary chirps that highlight the good sides of their endeavor, which helps direct their efforts. Someone with a solid knowledge base and confidence would require productive chipping to further polish and refine their endeavor. Ask a person what they prefer, and create a culture around you that is accepting of both chipping and chirping at appropriate times.

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4 Listen actively and empathically

Giving feedback is not a one-way communication, but a dialogue. You need to listen to your peer's response, and try to understand their point of view, feelings, and needs. Listen actively and empathically, which means paying attention, showing interest, asking questions, paraphrasing, and reflecting. Do not interrupt, argue, or dismiss your peer's opinion, but respect their right to disagree or have a different perspective. Try to find common ground, and acknowledge any areas of agreement or similarity.

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Kesh Chandran

Curiosity-driven in utilizing cross-industry connections to facilitate positive outcomes
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A difference in opinion with someone who is considered a peer could often mean there is some difference in access to information we each have. This could be an opportunity for both parties to then learn and grow. As such, treat feedback to a peer as a discussion on the best solution for the problem, and to improve both of your views on a subject. "Share your view like you are right, and listen to them like you're wrong".

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5 Follow up and appreciate

Feedback is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. You need to follow up with your peer, and check how they are doing after receiving your feedback. Ask them if they have any questions, concerns, or feedback for you. Give them the opportunity to share their progress, challenges, or achievements. Appreciate their efforts and willingness to learn from your feedback, and celebrate their successes. Also, be open to receiving feedback from your peer, and show them that you value their opinion and input.

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Kesh Chandran

Curiosity-driven in utilizing cross-industry connections to facilitate positive outcomes
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Feedback you provide is your view on a subject. And by keeping updated with how your feedback was received, implemented, and performed, you are able to use that as your own feedback to support or grow your knowledge base.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What are some tips for giving feedback to a peer with a different opinion than you?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand the purpose

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the sandwich method

4 Listen actively and empathically

5 Follow up and appreciate

6 Here’s what else to consider

Peer Support

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What are some tips for giving feedback to a peer with a different opinion than you?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand the purpose

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the sandwich method

4 Listen actively and empathically

5 Follow up and appreciate

6 Here’s what else to consider

Peer Support

Rate this article

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