You're facing a defensive team member. How do you navigate giving feedback effectively?

When you are handling a defensive team member, it is very essential to build trust with them before jumping to any conclusions. It is vital that your team member knows that your intention is to help and support them. Make sure that you praise their contributions and efforts and do not criticise or give negative feedback publicly.  Connect with the team member, understand with compassion, and empathise with their perspectives and reactions. With your genuine efforts, the team member will be able to form a foundation of trust with you and learn to accept your feedback, whether it is positive or negative.

Typically, a team member becomes defensive for a reason. If this issue is not addressed, subsequent efforts may be in vain. It’s crucial to thoughtfully consider the situations that might have led this team member to feel disengaged from the team. This disengagement could stem from an insensitive remark, a message conveyed in an inappropriate tone, or, more seriously, a perceived breach of integrity—such as making a commitment and then doing something else. Once you’ve identified potential causes, it’s wise to approach the team member under positive conditions, as recommended in the remainder of this article. Address the issue directly: discuss any loss of trust and determine how you can work together to rebuild it.

When giving feedback to a defensive team member, approach the conversation with empathy, focus on specific behaviors rather than personal traits, and frame the feedback constructively by highlighting potential improvements and expressing confidence in their ability to grow.

Got a team member who's a bit prickly about feedback? No worries, let’s take it easy. First, build some trust. Give them a pat on the back for their strengths and let them know you’re here to help them shine. Keep the chat open and casual—show you care about their views and struggles. When they see you’re on their side, they’ll be more open to your feedback, even if it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

Offering feedback and doing it at the right time are very essential points to consider. When you have decided to give feedback to the defensive team member, check whether the member is overloaded with tasks, meetings, undergoing high stress, failure, or frustration. These are times when you should necessarily avoid feedback, as the member might defend themselves and not understand your perspective. The best way to do this is to drop a text to the concerned member and ask for their convenient time in the week to connect and discuss.  It also makes them feel that you value the time of team members as well. Hence, when you provide the feedback at the right time, the member will be able to focus more, listen actively, and reflect on your words.

Timing of feedback is one of most important aspect. Follow the 3 step formula to provide feedback effectively. 1. Check the schedule of the feedback receiver and identify the best suitable time to provide feedback. 2. Align your time with receiver's time to have a smooth feedback session. 3. Check aspects of emotional intelligence while choosing the time. When a receiver feels happy, discouraged, motivated, stressed, anxious or calm. Lastly, use the principle of empathy and go for a feedback.

Alright, here’s the deal with timing: don’t drop feedback bombs during stressful moments or right after a project hits the fan. Emotions will be all over the place and nobody's in the mood for a pep talk. Pick a chill time when things are calm and there's no pressure cooker vibe. This way, the chat stays relaxed and productive. And, give feedback close to the event so it’s still fresh and makes sense.

Whenever you are giving feedback, it should always be clear, concise, and to the point. A defensive team member might not be able to resonate with or accept feedback if it is vague; it will honestly feel like an attack on them. Henve, when you are discussing the feedback with the concerned member, explain in a simple manner while being specific to the topic you want to talk about. Encourage the member to ask for doubts or share anytime they aren't able to understand any point. It will create a much more comfortable environment, and they will be able to accept the exact issue that the feedback reflects.

uring this conversation, it’s important to be open and show vulnerability, ensuring that you are approachable, allowing the dialogue to unfold effectively.

When you are dealing with a defensive team member, two-way communication is extremely important. While you are discussing the feedback with the concerned member, make sure to encourage the member to ask any doubts, raise questions, or share their concerns about any point. In the same way, listen intently and actively when the member is sharing their perspective, thereby showing your empathy and respect for them. Hence, when the conversation goes both ways, it gets easier for both sides to understand each other's points, and the member will be able to accept feedback effectively.

The best way to help a defensive team member is to offer them support. Make sure that you remind your team member that you are there to provide them with resources, support, essential feedback and any assitance that the member needs. Moreover, encourage them to reach out for help from other team members as well so that their bonding increases and the can be each other's support system. With these steps, the team member will be able to follow your feedback in a better way and improve accordingly, thereby gaining confidence and showing incredible results.