Learn effective strategies for addressing a boss who undermines your work contributions in a professional and assertive manner.

Before talking with your boss, you need to clear your energy. Get rid of any blame, resentment or assumptions. Visualize yourself having a calm and productive conversation. Get clear on a specific outcome you wish to achieve and speak to what you want, not to what you don't want. When speaking about the perceived problem speak in terms of observed behavior and leave emotion out of it. For example, "My intention for talking with you is to improve my work process. What I've noticed is that often when I'm in the middle of a project, the objectives get switched. For example...(Fill in the story.) What I want is to ABC. Would you be willing to...? Stay calm, listen for the response, and get resolution.

Last updated on Jul 25, 2024

Here's how you can confront a boss who consistently undermines or belittles your contributions.

Dealing with a boss who doesn't value your contributions can be disheartening, especially in research management where collaboration and recognition are key. It's important to approach this delicate situation with a strategy that is professional, assertive, and respectful. You might feel overlooked and undervalued, but remember that you have the right to be heard and the power to influence change. By taking the right steps, you can address the issue directly and improve your work environment.

1 Assess Intent

Before confronting your boss, take a step back and assess their intent. It's crucial to understand whether the undermining behavior is intentional or a result of miscommunication. Reflect on the instances where you felt belittled and try to discern a pattern or trigger. This will help you approach the conversation with a clear perspective and prevent you from making assumptions that could escalate the situation. Remember, the goal is to resolve the conflict, not to win an argument.

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2 Document Cases

When you notice your boss undermining your contributions, start documenting specific cases. Keep a record of dates, times, and details of the incidents, including witnesses if any. This isn't about keeping score, but about having concrete examples to discuss. Documentation will help you present your case objectively rather than emotionally, which is more likely to lead to a constructive conversation. It also serves as a reference point for any future discussions or actions that might be necessary.

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3 Seek Feedback

Sometimes, seeking feedback from your boss can shed light on why they might be undervaluing your contributions. Ask for a meeting to discuss your performance and use this opportunity to express your concerns. Be open to constructive criticism and ready to discuss how you can improve. This proactive approach shows that you're committed to growth and may help your boss see your contributions in a new light. It also establishes a precedent for open communication.

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4 Choose Timing

Timing is everything when it comes to confronting your boss. Choose a moment when both of you are not preoccupied with pressing deadlines or personal stressors. Scheduling a private meeting ensures that you have their full attention and the conversation remains confidential. A calm and collected approach is more likely to result in a positive outcome. Avoid times of high stress or right after an incident has occurred, as emotions may be too charged for a productive dialogue.

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5 Communicate Clearly

During the conversation, communicate your feelings and concerns clearly without being confrontational. Use "I" statements to express how certain actions made you feel and explain why you believe your contributions are valuable. Avoid accusations or language that could be perceived as aggressive. Instead, focus on seeking understanding and finding ways to improve the working relationship. Clear communication is key to ensuring that your message is heard and considered.

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Marlene Chism

We build drama-free leaders that drive growth and reduce costly mistakes. | Leadership clarity, confidence, & conflict capacity.
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Before talking with your boss, you need to clear your energy. Get rid of any blame, resentment or assumptions. Visualize yourself having a calm and productive conversation. Get clear on a specific outcome you wish to achieve and speak to what you want, not to what you don't want. When speaking about the perceived problem speak in terms of observed behavior and leave emotion out of it. For example, "My intention for talking with you is to improve my work process. What I've noticed is that often when I'm in the middle of a project, the objectives get switched. For example...(Fill in the story.) What I want is to ABC. Would you be willing to...? Stay calm, listen for the response, and get resolution.

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6 Follow Up

After the initial conversation, it's important to follow up. If your boss agreed to make changes, acknowledge any improvements and continue to provide feedback. If the situation doesn't change, consider discussing it with human resources or exploring other options within the organization. Your career development is important, and you should work in an environment where your contributions are recognized and appreciated. Remember that following up demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue and advancing your professional goals.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Mervyn Murray🌟

Senior International Leadership Consultant
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The pivotal word is “consistently “….our perspective maybe incorrect and your boss isn’t singling you out at all. They may be doing this to everyone and it isn’t personal. It is worth speaking to them about the impact it’s having on you. They may not realise this.

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Here's how you can confront a boss who consistently undermines or belittles your contributions.

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1 Assess Intent

2 Document Cases

3 Seek Feedback

4 Choose Timing

5 Communicate Clearly

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Research Management

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