How can you conquer feedback reluctance?

1 Identify your feedback style

Everyone has a preferred way of giving and receiving feedback, based on their personality, values, and experiences. Some people are more direct and assertive, while others are more indirect and supportive. Some people prefer feedback that is specific and actionable, while others prefer feedback that is general and motivational. Knowing your feedback style can help you understand your strengths and weaknesses, as well as how you can adapt to different situations and people. You can use online tools, such as the Feedback Style Assessment, to discover your feedback style and learn how to improve it.

2 Clarify your feedback purpose

Feedback can have different purposes, such as to praise, correct, coach, or evaluate. Depending on the purpose, feedback can vary in terms of frequency, timing, tone, and content. Before you give or ask for feedback, you should clarify your feedback purpose and communicate it clearly to the other person. This can help you avoid misunderstandings, confusion, and conflict. For example, if you want to give feedback to improve someone's performance, you should explain that your intention is to help them grow and succeed, not to criticize or judge them.

3 Prepare for feedback conversations

Delivering and receiving feedback can be difficult, especially if it is negative, unexpected, or emotional. To reduce reluctance, it is important to prepare for feedback conversations in advance. This includes gathering relevant information and evidence to support your feedback, choosing an appropriate time and place to have the conversation, setting a positive and respectful tone for the conversation, using the SBI model (Situation, Behavior, Impact) to structure your feedback, asking open-ended questions and listening actively to the other person's perspective, expressing appreciation and recognition for their efforts and achievements, and agreeing on specific actions and follow-up steps to implement the feedback.

4 Seek feedback proactively

Seeking feedback proactively is a great way to overcome feedback reluctance. It demonstrates openness, curiosity, and a desire to learn, as well as giving you control over the feedback process. To do this effectively, you should first identify your feedback goals and areas of improvement. Then, select trusted and credible sources such as your manager, peers, or customers. Ask for feedback consistently and regularly - not just when things go wrong or right. Ensure that it is specific, constructive, and relevant to your goals. Don't forget to thank the feedback giver and show them how much you value their input. Finally, act on the feedback and share your progress and results.

5 Develop a feedback mindset

Finally, to conquer feedback reluctance, you need to develop a feedback mindset. This means having a positive and growth-oriented attitude towards feedback, viewing it as an opportunity to learn and improve. To accomplish this, recognize the benefits and importance of feedback for your personal and professional development, challenge any negative beliefs you have about it, and seek diverse feedback from different sources. Additionally, reflect on the feedback you receive, celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes, and seek support from those who can help you with your feedback journey. With practice and persistence, you can overcome your feedback reluctance and become a more confident and effective feedback giver and receiver.