How can you effectively handle a difficult conversation with your supervisor?

1 Know your purpose

Before you initiate a conversation, you should have a clear idea of what you want to achieve and why. Think about the main problem, the impact it has on your work, and the desired outcome. For example, if you are struggling with a heavy workload, you may want to ask for more resources, prioritize your tasks, or delegate some responsibilities. Having a specific and realistic goal can help you focus on the solution rather than the complaint.

2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting are important factors that can affect the tone and outcome of a conversation. You should avoid having a difficult conversation when you or your supervisor are under pressure, angry, or distracted. Instead, ask for a meeting in advance and choose a private and neutral location. This way, you can show respect and professionalism, and avoid interruptions and misunderstandings.

3 Use positive and assertive language

The way you express yourself can make a big difference in how your supervisor perceives and responds to your message. You should use positive and assertive language that shows confidence, respect, and empathy. For example, you can start with a compliment or appreciation, use "I" statements to describe your feelings and needs, and avoid blaming or accusing words. You should also listen actively, acknowledge your supervisor's perspective, and ask open-ended questions to clarify and explore the issue.

4 Seek common ground and agreement

The ultimate goal of a difficult conversation is to reach a mutual understanding and agreement that can resolve the problem and improve the situation. You should avoid being defensive or aggressive, and instead, seek common ground and compromise. You can do this by identifying shared interests and values, expressing your willingness to cooperate, and proposing possible solutions that benefit both parties. You should also summarize the main points, confirm the action plan, and thank your supervisor for their time and input.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?