How can you give constructive feedback to a teammate with low emotional intelligence?

Giving constructive feedback to a teammate with low emotional intelligence can be challenging, but not impossible. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own and others' emotions, and to use them effectively in different situations. A teammate with low EI may lack self-awareness, empathy, or communication skills, and may react defensively, aggressively, or emotionally to feedback. However, with some preparation, strategies, and patience, you can help them improve their performance and their EI. Here are some tips on how to do it.

1 Assess the situation

Before you give feedback, ask yourself some questions: What is the purpose of the feedback? What are the specific issues or behaviors that need to be addressed? How does the teammate's low EI affect their work and the team? How open are they to feedback? How will you deliver the feedback? What are the possible outcomes and risks? These questions will help you clarify your goals, expectations, and approach, and avoid giving feedback impulsively or emotionally.

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Darryl McKinney, MBA

Assistant Director, Security Strategy & Intelligence
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Allow your peers to have differing opinions and consider them. Check your ego at the door. Listen instead of talk. Genuinely care enough to be honest & straight forward in a respectful way. So basically model the behavior you want them to have.

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2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting are important factors for effective feedback. Choose a time when you and your teammate are both calm, focused, and not under pressure. Avoid giving feedback right after a stressful event, a conflict, or a deadline. Also, choose a private and comfortable place where you can have an honest and respectful conversation, without distractions or interruptions. Avoid giving feedback in public, over email, or in front of other teammates.

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Alex Serban

Python Backend Developer | Data Analyst | QA Tester | Python, SQL, HTML/CSS, Django, REST, PostgreSQL, Git, AWS
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There are a lot of variables that need to be taken into consideration, especially when we talk about constructive feedback because we expect the person to take a course of action. And that can be tricky because we are creatures of habit, if I learned to do a thing in a certain way, I would do it like that because it's comfortable for me, even if from the outside my process may seem suboptimal or flawed. So when giving constructive feedback, we have to understand why the person took that course of action. I would ask my peer what steps he took to solve the issue and why in this order. Getting the person to properly understand their process will make them more prone to input when the question raises, can the process be improved? How?

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3 Use the SBI model

The SBI model is a simple and structured way to give constructive feedback. It stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. First, describe the situation where the feedback applies, such as a specific project, task, or interaction. Second, describe the behavior that you observed or experienced, such as a missed deadline, a rude comment, or a lack of collaboration. Third, describe the impact that the behavior had on you, the team, or the work, such as frustration, confusion, or poor quality. Use factual and objective language, and avoid judgments, assumptions, or personal attacks.

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4 Listen and empathize

After you give feedback, give your teammate a chance to respond. Listen actively and attentively to their perspective, feelings, and concerns. Try to understand their point of view, and acknowledge their emotions. Show empathy and compassion, and avoid arguing, blaming, or criticizing. Use phrases like "I hear you", "I understand how you feel", or "I appreciate your honesty". If they react negatively, stay calm and respectful, and don't take it personally. Remind them that your feedback is intended to help them grow and succeed.

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5 Focus on solutions and actions

The last step of giving constructive feedback is to agree on solutions and actions that will address the issues and improve the situation. Ask your teammate for their input and suggestions, and involve them in the decision-making process. Make sure that the solutions and actions are clear, specific, realistic, and measurable. Set a timeline and a follow-up plan to monitor the progress and the results. Express your support and confidence in your teammate, and thank them for their cooperation and willingness to change.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Ashwini S.

Leveraging Innovation to Drive Business Growth and Efficiency| Driving Digital Transformation
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As soon as you form the opinion that someone is challenging, their behavior often becomes more challenging. The initial step should involve recognizing that people have diverse perspectives. This mindset fosters clear thinking and enables you to approach difficult situations without creating unnecessary tension, allowing you to address the issue at hand effectively.

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How can you give constructive feedback to a teammate with low emotional intelligence?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Assess the situation

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the SBI model

4 Listen and empathize

5 Focus on solutions and actions

6 Here’s what else to consider

Teamwork

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How can you give constructive feedback to a teammate with low emotional intelligence?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Assess the situation

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Use the SBI model

4 Listen and empathize

5 Focus on solutions and actions

6 Here’s what else to consider

Teamwork

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