How can you help someone overcome negative self-talk?

I think one of the biggest triggers to negative self-talk is the comparison trap. Constantly measuring yourself against others (especially in the age of social media) can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Recognizing when you’re falling into this trap is key to breaking free from the cycle of negative self-talk. Just remind yourself what you see on social media is just a snapshot in time and usually the heights of a person’s month, year, career, whatever… and not indicative of that person’s life on a random Wednesday.

First, you might need a Coach, Therapist, or similar to help point out triggers for negative self-talk. I did. Some common patterns signaling that you've been triggered into a negative thought pattern are: - You're repeating or ruminating on the same thought - You're physiologically stressed (sweating, elevated heart rate, etc.) - Your thoughts frame things as 'permanent' with words like 'failure, always, never' - You feel hopeless or despaired. If you're experiencing these things, it can be helpful to journal or write down: What where you thinking, feeling, and doing: - 24 hours ago? - 12 hours ago? - 1 hour ago? This written timeline can help you identify what brought these negative thought patterns up.

Our negative self-talk can get in the way of success in our: - our career/businesses - relationships - parenting - physical/mental health - reaching our full potential, etc. This awareness is essential not just for coachees but also for coaches to understand their internal dialogue. To identify triggers for negative self-talk, practice: mindfulness and being present, pausing, and observing. Developing these skill takes time and conscious effort, but continuous scrutiny of your thoughts will eventually empower you to stop debating with them and regain control.

A very powerful question can be "what are you hearing when you say that to yourself?" in order to search within their belief system. The source may have even come from someone else in their past and they are repeating that enough times to believe it to be true. Then it would be useful to explore their relationship with themselves and others etc.

The first step in identifying triggers is helping people raise their awareness of what is happening internally. Most of the time our self-talk is so subconscious people don't even see how they're talking to themselves. Meditation and mindfulness allow us to sit with our thoughts and start to recognize reoccurring patterns in our brain, body, and emotions. Then, and ONLY then, once we have a practice of becoming self-aware of our inner world can we begin to identify what EXTERNAL triggers induce negative self-talk. Start with 5 minutes of daily meditation and mindfulness. Notice your thoughts as they pop up and begin to use mini 5-second meditations throughout the day to become more aware of what's happening internally.

The distortions of negative self-talk can be VERY powerful. In my case, they almost killed me. If negative self-talk affects your daily life, please seek professional help from a licensed therapist. With that said, here's a typical distortion, you can see how it gets out of hand quickly: - I failed a test. Therefore I will probably fail this course ... and then fail out of school. I am a failure. I always mess everything up. I might quit now. The only true part about that is the first part; that you failed one test. You have the power to break the cycle of negative self-talk with practice. You may have failed the test, but you CAN study for the next one, and you are in control of what follows. Failing one text is NOT who you are.

Take a detective-like approach to your thoughts. Examine evidence that supports or contradicts negative beliefs. Introduce curiosity into your thinking by asking questions like "What evidence backs this thought?" or "Am I assuming the worst without facts?" Actively challenging these distortions weakens their impact and fosters a more rational perspective.

You can challenge negative self-talk. Look for the evidence Take things a step further by searching for evidence that supports the negativity promoted by your inner critic. Let's say you believe that if you don't graduate University, you'll amount to nothing,Ask yourself what evidence exists to support that thought process. If you can't identify any valid proof to support it, then you have your answer.

Introduce positive self-talk by creating personalized affirmations rooted in reality. Craft statements that resonate with your experiences and capabilities. Practice these affirmations consistently, especially during moments of self-doubt. Visualize these positive affirmations taking root in your mind, reinforcing a kinder inner dialogue.

Consistency is key in rewiring thought patterns. Set aside dedicated time daily for exercises that challenge negative thoughts. Explore various techniques like cognitive restructuring exercises or gratitude journaling to expand your toolkit. Repetition and dedication facilitate the integration of these practices into your daily routine.

Acknowledge when negative self-talk significantly impacts your life or mental health. Therapists provide specialized tools and insights tailored to your situation. Through therapy, you gain deeper understanding, guidance, and effective strategies to address the root causes of negative self-talk

Dans ma pratique professionnelle d'hypnothérapeute, j'ai adopté une approche de déconstruction : Ces schémas automatiques de pensées sont la conséquence d'un ensemble de briques composées des perceptions de ce qu'on ressent avoir été, avoir vécu, avoir reçu en modèle de nos parents et proches dans l'enfance. C'est en acceptant et en se détachant ce tout cela que l'on déconstruit. Hypnose et EMDR font merveille ensemble mais ne restent que des outils.

Overcoming negative self-talk begins with having a growth mindset. You can cultivate this through meditation and mindfulness. One area of focus for my clients is ensuring they have a daily practice that encompasses improving self-talk through meditation It's so important for all aspects of life.

My experience with clients tend to vary when it comes to addressing negative self-talk but we always start with: 1. Observe/journal what you say to yourself when things are not going well. 2. Observe/journal what you say to yourself when things are going well. 3. Learn to be present It takes time to turn your inner critic into your inner cheerleader. And to put it simply it means shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion. I've used my own stories as examples and I've witnessed transformation in clients who finally understand that they can use their own inner voice to parent themselves, & be supportive and self-compassionate. The formula I've used with clients: Self-parenting + Self-care + self-compassion + self-regulation

I really do believe in being a role model as a coach and being transparent in your experiences. That good old saying - 'practice what you preach'. If you want to be the best coach, you must embrace everything you mentor and coach. Back in the day, I had therapists and coaches who had very messy lives compared to what they were practising, and I found it really hard to resonate with and respect them. If you can't get your ducks in a row, how can you expect your clients too?

Embrace vulnerability by sharing your journey of overcoming negative self-talk. Express how you navigate challenges and transform negative thoughts into positive ones. Leading by example fosters a supportive environment where others feel inspired and motivated to embark on their own self-talk journey.

I've talked above and in other articles about my own story; excessive negative self-talk played a huge role in my journey. At my worst point, I did not believe that anyone could help me. I was wrong. Over the years, now having worked with hundreds of people, mostly in the nutrition and wellness space, I see examples of how negative self-talk holds people back all the time. Mostly in the area of making change. We tell ourselves 'we can't' or 'not again' or 'this is always how things are going to be' ... but none of that is true. What is true is that you can tell yourself whatever story you want to; you can begin to write a new story right now. It begins with how you talk to yourself. It matters.

Our Minds respond to the words we say and the pictures we make, change the word, change the pictures, change you life. You can do this by simply spending 15 minutes of quiet meditation and anchor yourself in the present before you start your day.

Celebrate small victories along the way. Embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support your efforts. Engage in activities that nourish your mental and emotional well-being, reinforcing your commitment to a more positive self-dialogue. Remember, this journey is about progress, not perfection.

By truly listening to my own negative self-talk first. Then, these questions to self: Why the need to changing something someone has labeled “negative” to “positive”? How to selflessly help someone see + understand a human impulse? Can I connect with what I feel when I talk to myself like this? Or what I feel when I witness someone talking to themselves like this? Can I relate + hold space without the need to fix it or change it? Do I know the history/stories behind that habit, mine and/or another’s? Can I see that, at the root, negative self-talk is an out-loud crying for self-connection, acceptance, healing, and love? And the unseen traits of probably shame or alike? Can I be fully present without judging?

Voici un exercice de visualisation ou d'auto-hypnose pour déconstruire ces schémas de pensées toxiques (les yeux fermés) : Chaque instant de toute votre vie, c'est comme une minuscule brique de construction pour votre esprit et vos problèmes. Et si vous prenez de la hauteur, tous ces instants d'anxiété, de schémas de pensées, s'imbriquent les uns dans les autres, comme des briques les unes aux autres pour former un mur. Peut-être un mur de pensées, de peur, peut-être une autre forme de construction. Avec ses fondations liées à l'éducation et l'enfance. Et maintenant si ça vous parle, il faut déconstruire. Je vous propose un marteau, un bulldozer, ce qu'il faut. Jusqu'à ce qu'il ne reste aucun débris. Vous pouvez le refaire.