How can you improve your emotional intelligence to work more effectively with others?

Even if you don't have access to any professional tools to assess your EI, simple self checks related to the following aspects can help you self-assess your EI: 1) How do you react to someone saying a NO to your ask/ request? 2) How often do you lose your calm? 3) How difficult is it for you to navigate stressful situations? 4) How many negative thoughts cross your mind on any given day? 5) How long do you dwell before taking important decisions? What approach do you follow for taking them? 6)How often do people approach you to get advice when they are going through a challenging time in personal/ professional life ? 7) How easily are you able to let go negative experiences? How much optimism do you carry with you in any given situation?

In my two-plus decade of experience, working across major corporations is less about technology or real/right solutions but understanding the political landscape, navigating the firm but invisible boundaries and skill to read between the lines. Once we become adept at acquiring this emotional intelligence, walking in water is an easy art !!

Humble Confidence: Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments with humility. Recognize and learn from mistakes without dwelling on them. Display confidence without arrogance, fostering a positive team atmosphere.

Leadership by Example: Model the behavior you expect from others, including emotional intelligence. Demonstrate a positive attitude and a commitment to ethical conduct. Lead with empathy and inspire others through your actions.

Ethical Decision-Making: Prioritize ethical considerations in your decision-making processes. Consider the broader impact of your decisions on stakeholders and the organization. Uphold a strong moral compass in all professional interactions.

Life is full of distractions and as human we need to have our attention on different things at one time. Ability to focus on one single task towards completion and being able to absorb the events unfolding is an art. It's an ability to control our emotions and make sure we can assimilate the different thoughts that are coming to us and to make sure they don't affect us. To develop the ability to respond and not to react. I learnt from a wise man who said " whenever you get any news (good or bad), information etc. wait for 30 seconds or a minute to allow the mind and body to accept the information and then respond." Do not just react as you need to calm the nerves first to respond to that information.

Sometimes the pressures of day to day work/life prevents us from dedicating time to develop our mindfulness. To make our focus on this continuous, embedding being 'in the moment' fully is vital. This means being present and available in a new situation without allowing the challenges of the previous to get in our way. With that approach our EI is sure to evolve as will our ability to provide better guidance and support to others.

Mindfulness helps one to observe one's thoughts and emotions without judgment. This over the time helps to notice the triggers that prompt certain emotional responses. And as one begins to become open to one's emotions- it becomes easier to relate to other's emotions too. And this is the key to being effective with a group of people.

I personally have found journaling and observing my surroundings, people's behaviours in various situations as helpful tools to enhance my mindfulness and EI.

Getting critique kind of feedback is the best gift that you can get from anyone. Do remember it's not easy for anyone to give you critique feedback and that person is taking the risk of upsetting you. If you can however embrace it with gratefulness and convert it into an actionable plan, implement it and again ask for more feedback - this increases your resilience, strengthens your relationship with the feedback giver and over time enhances your EI.

Feedback is like a roadmap for emotional intelligence growth. It’s not just about how you see yourself, but how others see you. Cast a wide net – peers, managers, clients – they all bring different perspectives. Don’t just fish for negatives - reel in the positives too. Recognize and appreciate what’s working. It’s not a one-time thing; make feedback a habit

Seeking feedback is something we get better at over time - just like giving feedback! A very positive way to solicit feedback is to ask a trusted colleague/leader to provide you with some constructive observations the next time you are in a meeting or presentation together where you are a key contributor. This way, you will have requested their observation and provided permission for them to provide feedback on further improvement opportunities and a chance to confirm key strengths too. We don’t need to wait for formal feedback to be provided to us :-)

I have learnt the secrets of Emotional Intelligence (EI) from speakers like Jim Rohn, Tony Buzan, Hamza Yusuf and many other scholars who have impacted me profoundly through their teachings. The above named scholars are treasure trove who for me are oceans in a drop and their teachings are immensely powerful to impact our lives in a positive way. I have also learnt a lot from the teachings of Rumi and of his saying is something I like to practice everyday "The quieter you become the more you are able to hear."

Observing your role model leaders dealing with difficult situations is the best on the job way of enhancing your EI in my experience.

Observe, absorb, and steal their moves (figuratively, of course). See how they navigate stormy seas and bring sunshine into a room. It’s not just about watching; ask questions, seek advice, build that mentor-mentee vibe

With so many benefits that one can earn by enhancing one's EI, in the current dynamic ecosystem this is one of the most critical soft skill to develop whether you are an individual contributor or a people leader. Leading by influence and negotiating win win outcomes need strong levels of EI to be demonstrated consistently.

Communication is the key – adapt your style for different folks in your work orbit. Smooth out conflicts, turn negotiations into win-win scenarios, and be the calm captain during turbulent changes. EI is your secret weapon for influence – persuade, lead, and watch your goals unfold

The root of ones Emotional Intelligence is something that most of us born with on a certain level. A chemical balance in our brain and body responding to external impulses. The way of our perception on human and physical, emotional interactions - responses are developed with our bring up and early experiences in life. Trauma and stamps in our memories will form schemas so as a grown up its very hard to ultimately influence EI; however, one can always work on it consciously, if you are becoming aware of it. And the key is being aware. Its very hatd to work on EI - EQ and it takes a long time to adopt to new schemas. Raise awareness, be open minded, consider and read about it, that will help a lot. 🙏

1. Pause for a moment and engage in self-reflection, exploring your emotions, thoughts, and responses in different scenarios. By gaining a better understanding of your own emotions, you'll develop a deeper empathy towards others and be able to connect with them more effectively. 2. Improve your ability to communicate by actively listening, maintaining an open mind, and expressing your thoughts and feelings assertively while also respecting the perspectives of others. 3. Dedicate your time and effort to cultivating strong and positive relationships with your coworkers and team members. This will foster a supportive and collaborative work atmosphere, ultimately boosting productivity and job fulfillment.

Before entering into a negotiation or a difficult conversation consider and plan for potential objections or conflicts that may arise. This helps to regulate any emotional response you may have during the conversation.