How do you use emotional intelligence to tell a great story?

Emotions are the fuel of storytelling. They lie at the heart of good stories, serving as the "glue" that binds all elements of a story together. It is emotions that drive the plot and make us care. It is emotions that make us trust and believe. It is emotions that lead us to act and spur change. Forging an emotional connection with the audience is key to use stories strategically in business, in politics, in life.

Emotions are very powerful and they drive most of the decisions people take. People relate to people not things. So for an optimum impact and maximum results you need to identify what emotions do you want to stimulate from your posts, stories and words at your audience and you also need to make sure that your own emotions are the most authentic & real or else the impact will be very negative for you & your business

I think EI carries great relevance in storytelling. It brings out the human connection. In the world that is becoming more and more tech-driven, the propensity to emotionally relate somehow is taking a backseat. The purpose of sharing a story needs to be clear so that one can think, aim and deliver the impact thats desired. Also, emotions help keep your audience spellbound in an environment of umpteen distractions. Emotions are the biggest and the most swift action motivators. We do a lot things out of impulse and this is quite well used in advertising since centuries.

I believe it is essential not just to tell a story but to craft the narrative skillfully so the audience becomes a part of the story. My writing instructor always said, don't tell, but show. The same applies to spoken words.

I'm sorry but "know your purpose" seems to turn what should naturally spring from the heart and soul of a writer into a technique, and technique does not foster genuine emotion. If you want emotion conveyed in your work, you have to feel it, be empathetic, get inside the heads of your characters and weep when they weep, laugh when they laugh. Conveyance of deep emotion comes from feeling, it does not come from "choosing impactful details" or "structuring your story logically". The feeling and emotion itself will pour out the details and take on a natural structure. Technique is an emotion killer. When someone cries, laughs, gets angry, it is not technique. These spontaneous authentic emotions come out of natural feeling.

To truly know your audience, you need to know not only what they say, but also what they actually do. You have to a) ask questions and b) spend time just observing. When I worked at an airline, people said in surveys that they wanted healthier onboard food. But when you actually spent time with travelers, they would often order indulgent dishes even if healthy options were available. They yearned to be healthy, but they also wanted to be comforted and rewarded for the efforts of travel. Most of us can relate to those differing impulses! It's worth the effort to go beyond surface level, so you can figure out what will resonate. You can only draw people into your story if they feel like you understand where they're coming from.

By day I’m rattling out news for an unseen audience of millions, by night I’m crafting bedtime stories for my young son. Lately he asks me to tell them “from my head” and I find myself taking snippets from the day’s events and mixing them with his favourite characters (Chase, Ryder… IYKYK). He’s a tough audience but also the easiest because I know him so well. The questions every second sentence make me really shape my storytelling around his needs - a far cry from blunt news headlines fired at speed. He teaches me to think even faster, to add both logic and surprise, to delight him, raise the suspense, but to always reassure him that life turns out fair and the good guys always save the day. Maybe my news writing can learn from him too.

I believe that knowing one's audience is helpful but not always possible. Therefore, I have found that being genuine and demonstrating vulnerability are valuable skills in conveying one's message to an audience.

Emotional intelligence doesn't cater to a specific audience or crowd. When it comes to emotions and deep feeling in fiction, your audience is fellow human beings, period. Let marketing gurus figure out who wants to read romance and who wants action adventure. Your job as a writer is to appeal to humanity, to other humans who think and feel and emote, whether you are writing romance, adventure, horror, tragedy, sci-fi, fantasy, westerns, historical fiction, comedy, or more. Be human and feel. Humanity relates to humanity. When people emote they don't choose a language, tone, and style, they just pour out their emotions. A good writer will channel these emotions naturally, feel them deeply, pour out and emote in words on paper.

Emotions are at the centre of storytelling when you use them correctly you establish a connection with your audience! Now to establish that connection with your audience you need to know and understand your audience well. You need to know - What does your audience like? - How do they consume content? - What are their real pain points? - Do they like their content in a certain tone - fun, serious, intelligent etc. - Where does your audience spend most of their time? - Who is your target audience? Are they millennials, GenZ, or Boomers? Once you are able to understand more and more about your audience crafting stories to resonate the right kind of emotions becomes easier and clearer for marketers and use EI more effectively!

One of my biggest learnings in storytelling and emotions has been that you have to masterfully describe the emotion and not feel the need to display emotions. I'm corporate storytelling we are often getting people to take an action that requires cognitive empathy and the ability to describe emotions versus affective empathy and display of emotions

Storytelling is a unique interplay between emotions and cognitive thinking. Just like a bittersweet conflict between your heart & brain. At some points, you might get off the tracks. Relax and take a deep breath. Rewind your thoughts & get in the flow. The more you are into it, the better you can present the emotions. Stories aren't a bunch random words, so be wise while reflecting your emotions. Even a little shift of focus can distract the whole theme. Present emotions, connect souls :)

Richard Martin, a much seasoned storyteller, taught me a valuable lesson in Emotions. He said that a Storyteller MUST invest in one’s own emotions, but must be careful not to indulge in an orgy of emotional outburst. The former is what makes connections, the latter breaks it. The former makes the story about the listener, because it shows you want them to feel your authenticity and intent. The latter becomes about the storyteller, as if the listener has to disconnect and embrace you to help you control your emotions. In my work with adults, corporate and outside it, I have seen people feel very uncomfortable about ‘showing’ an emotion. I teach Richard’s recipe of emotional maturity. This helps many invest emotionally in their stories.

One thing I've found helpful always is the energy you bring to the room (if your audience is a c-suite/client) or energy you display when advertising a product/commodity/service. Your positive energy, ability to simplify your thoughts (as if you are speaking to a 5 year old) and lastly (but not least) building curiosity and interest in the mind of the end user enables a recipe of success.

It is important to have emotionally processed the story within us before sharing it with the rest of world. How to know that is to ask if any negative or contrarian view of the story will hurt your feelings and leave you emotionally hurt. If so, the story needs more time before it can go out to public.

One of the most important things about knowing your characters is building characters that your audience can relate to, it shouldn't be like chalk and cheese where the characters and the audience are totally different! The audience needs to feel that the character is like them, someone who speaks like them has similar choices to them to establish that big connection. In essence, if you are trying to target an audience that is from a certain SEC the protagonist needs to reflect them.

Using emotional intelligence to tell a great story involves understanding and harnessing emotions to create a deeper connection with your audience. Start by identifying the emotions you want to convey and evoke in your story. Consider the characters’ feelings, the atmosphere, and the overall tone you’re aiming for. To express these emotions authentically, immerse yourself in your characters’ perspectives. Show their thoughts, actions, and reactions that reflect their emotional states. Use vivid descriptions, sensory details, and dialogue that resonates with the intended emotions. Additionally, consider the pacing and structure of your story. Building tension, suspense, or moments of relief can enhance emotional engagement.

In Storytelling, writing one-dimensional characters as a means to craft an end, or strengthen your "point" can be tempting. Strong EI means being conscious of your internal relationship between complex emotional shifts and environmental stimuli. Strong storytelling requires describing that relationship in a way an audience can relate to. Try this: 1. Write a descriptive narrative from your perspective. 2. Draw connections between external stimuli and internal feelings you would experience in the storyline. 3. Create a vocab list of terms and synonyms describing emotions you encountered in the story. 4. Rewrite the story from your character's perspective, referencing the list as you write to paint a multidimensional, relatable character.

Effectively leveraging emotional intelligence requires building out characters that are authentic- based on your reality or lived experience. Making them honest versions of yourself or the persona you are portraying to make a point makes them relevant to the reader. Be aware of your objective at all times- what do you want to ultimately achieve in telling this story? Start with your why and then proceed to develop your characters based on that.

In business storytelling, one common mistake is not to identify a particular character but to talk about nebulous groups - which renders the conflict abstract and we have no one to identify with. We can understand the motivation or emotions even of a character who is unlike us. To cast the right character in your story, it can help to ask: Who stands to gain most from this change (if that's what your communicating)? Who stands to lose?

Plot is the most important factor of f the story, telling a story we should monitor the pace of plots to maintain the momentum and let the audience find the meaning behind every word. An affective storyteller can make a list of plots, standing by her/his “WHY” in every single plots to point conflicts, tensions, climax ….etc making the balance between characters, actions, plots, thoughts, emotions with a unique touch of creativity to deliver a powerful message through wiring the audience with the story and the purpose using a story audience-oriented approach #selfcare #EI #storytelling #publicspeaking

There's nothing more rewarding as a listener than going on a journey. The plot doesn't necessarily even need a neat 'ending'. But, a great story marks some sort of remarkable shift. You need to clearly know the character's problem and obstacle, and craft them in an arc. Putting your character clearly out of their comfort zone is key. What is their greatest fear? It doesn't matter if it's as drastic as a natural disaster or as mundane as crossing paths with someone they detest. Make the character face it. Then, as T.S. Eliot wrote, the 'hero' (and us) change given what was learnt along the way. “We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time."

There are many story structures one can follow and often it depends on the audience. Strong plotlines strategically create and release tension.

Plot is definitely the part of the story that requires logic and progression. Earlier I said the backbone of reality is logic. The reality in your story is the plot. It has to unfold in a logical and real way. The time you take to craft a compelling plot and sequence of events to build tension and conflict is valuable. You do have to know the story arc. However, don't let that stop the plot twists that come out of your characters getting real and acting on their own. Once you are immersed in the characters and story, you know if they would really do something. Sometimes they even do something totally different and you know it is right, so you have to twist or change the plot a little. Let them write it. It makes it authentic, real.

One tip for plotting a story: the "accordeon principle". Have an MVP plot, with the minimum viable story beats. This is your 30-60 second version of the story. Then expand your "accordeon" with extra story beats that provide more context, characterise, and up the stakes. This makes the story longer but more immersive. Working with story "beats" ensures you only have what contributes to your story. The rest is fat - cut it.

Post your story on social media for instant feedback. If your audience is responding positively (which could include both negative and positive reactions, depending on the nature of the story), keep moving in that direction. If there are aspects that are unclear to them, consider making tweaks if possible or reevaluating for the next go-round.

An Affective Storyteller should have a growth mindset, being ego-less and ready to receive feedback with the aim of self-improvement. A storyteller is an advocate for openness and continuous learning. Direct or indirect feedbacks have to be used to transform weakness to strengthens and failure to success, to help unleash the story, meet the audience needs and have a significant influence. Ask yourself and others: What made you feel that it could be better? What evidence says it could be better? What is your advice to make it better? Then identify and implement best practices your own way #selfcare #EI #storytelling #publicspeaking

As a novelist, I use at least six beta readers to review my draft books and give me their honest feedback regarding what did and didn't work for them. Primarily I want to see if they enjoyed the story as a whole, and then I have a list of specific criteria I want them to loo at. I usually get a cross-section of responses, and bell-curve the most common complaints -- those are the ones I need to pay the most attention to. But even the outliers provide valuable feedback because they're indicators of the types of responses I'm likely to get from a wide variety of readers.

Every time someone asks you "How are you?" it a great opportunity to practice your storytelling - in a low-stakes environment. Read your audience's body language and see how they respond for instant feedback on which parts of the story engaged them and where you lost them. This is also a great way of learning your stories "by heart" but not word for word. Telling a story three times, optimally spaced, will secure it in your long-term memory - so it's ready for use in a business meeting on onstage, at a moment's notice.

Determine the core emotions you want to evoke in your audience. What do you want them to feel during and after your story? Common emotions include joy, empathy, curiosity, and inspiration. Develop characters that your audience can empathize with. Describe their feelings, motivations, and struggles in a way that humanizes them and makes the audience care about their journey. Share your own vulnerabilities and challenges when appropriate. Vulnerability can create a deeper emotional connection with your audience, as they see you as relatable.

Know what to leave out. As human storytellers, we want to give a complete rendering. But ask yourself if every aspect serves your reader/listener. Does it matter that the story took place in a restaurant in Milan on a Tuesday? If yes, leave it in. If not, cull the unnecessary details to focus on a tighter, richer story.

From my experience: Dignity First: Avoid sensationalism or what's often termed "poverty porn." Instead, focus on portraying their dignity, resilience, and strength. Heroes Among Us: Every person has a story, and these individuals are heroes in their own right. Concentrate on what makes them extraordinary, showcasing their everyday bravery in the face of societal, institutional, or personal obstacles. Their stories can inspire and educate. Earn Trust, Don't Assume It: To be an effective storyteller, you can't be a mere outsider dropping in to collect a story. Genuinely invest your time in understanding their lives, their challenges, and their aspirations. Building trust is a prerequisite for telling a compelling and authentic narrative.

I’ve found that when combining EI & storytelling, it is quite important to remember the goal of what you’re trying to do or achieve at every stage - to create that deep emotional connection with your audience. So it’s a bit of an extension of the “know your purpose” piece earlier. And in my experience, relatability is a key aspect of it. Drawing on your personal experiences and insights; recounting of those transformative moments in your life that has turned the tide of your journey, challenges or opportunities that have played a pivotal part in your life - all of these help the audience visualise it better. Having said that, it’s quite critical to also practice a bit of restraint so you don’t go overboard.

One thing that I have found helpful with emotional intelligence and storytelling is a concept I call conscious relatability. It involves holding space for your readers. Allowing them time and space to process the trajectory of the plot and the characters. This means carefully pacing the story from beginning to end. Conscious relatability also means making a connection to your readers beyond events or character arcs. Readers want to be reminded of the journey and its significance as well as feel the emotions of each character. The goal is to make fictional worlds and the characters feel real, relatable, and memorable by highlighting their emotions.