How do you use storytelling to prevent or reduce future conflicts?

A very recent example of this in my career has presented with a very community intrusive concrete plant that was proposed next to many rural residential homes who already tolerate noise of a nearby rock quarry. The residents pushed back at local meetings and explained how this would significantly disrupt their lives. We also used experts to underscore what the residents said about the accuracy of potential impacts. They told their individual stories and we compiled it into an effective picture of why this proposal would harm more than help. The residents were unified and the county listened to the pushback against the development and decided against allowing the company to build. It was a victory for community conflict resolution.

In my humble opinion, ninety-five percent of the time, the cause of conflict is a difference in values or a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding can be easily quelled compared to a difference in values that roots to the very soul. And usually, that culprit revolves around money. Unravelling that class of conflict in narrative is challenging, interesting, and entertaining for the author and hopefully shines through for the reader.

The book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High talks about exactly this, taking the time to hear the whole story before reacting. It might sound like a no-brainer when you are told to hear the other person out first, but in the heat of the moment, the application might not come as a first instinct. It's good to have reminders like this. Also, everyone should read this book! It truly breaks down the steps on how to have hard conversations in any setting and relationship.

In a recent interview, Oklahoma teacher Lexi Gragg addressed why it's impossible for educators to “just focus on the content.” Instead of debating politics or discussing this point on a macro level, Lexi shares a story from her experience as a teacher: how a social-emotional check-in during math class helped save her student's life. By listening to someone's authentic story, we're able to more easily put ourselves in their position and think about what we would do. Stories often allow us to focus less on philosophy and more on concrete action.

When crafting your story, do not shy away from using metaphors. The more relatable and almost mundane the example you describe, the easier it will be to extrapolate it and lead your counterpart to regard it from a spectator perspective. That degree of objectivity and extrapolation will likely enable a more objective and constructive discussion.

Stay in the first person. Use the five senses, what did you see/hear/touch/taste/smell in the experience? We often get stuck in the ‘seeing’ part and forget to use the other elements!