What do you do if self-reflection is lacking in the feedback and evaluation process in personal coaching?

What you cannot declutter from your mind - write it down on a paper. When you write things down, you help your brain get clarity and understand things better. Journalling not only helps you self-reflect past better, but also plan better for future along with understanding the present more accurately.

Journaling is always an effective procedure that enables us to write down everything that seems important so as to be in a position to acknowledge insights and patterns. Feedback then becomes apparent freely and fosters our personal and professional identity.

The simple act of writing something down extracts thoughts from the endless swirl of the emotional centres of the brain and helps engage the parts of the brain focused on logic and rational thoughts. It allows us to create something important: perspective. When you see something written on paper it separates it from "self" and you can apply the process of thinking a good friend of yours is presenting you the same information. Ask yourself, would you respond to your friend the way you have been talking to yourself?

Journaling is imperative for self-reflection because the action of writing down thoughts reduces mental clutter, thus creating clarity. Journaling also enables the individual to reflect on past notes, tracking changes in thought and perception. Please note that self-reflection is about the individual reflecting on themselves, generating their own awareness. So external "feedback" and "evaluation" are not necessarily part of this process.

Journaling was one of the things that helped me on my journey out of C-PTSD. It is a great non-threatening way to put everything that is going on in your head onto paper. However, a client is only going to share with you what they have written if you have fostered that safe space for them where they feel comfortable. I would question my approach and practice as well if the reflection and feedback wasn't forthcoming.

Questions that force a client to think more deeply inherently engender greater reflection. Sometimes the failure to reflect can also be caused by a subconscious need to avoid facing parts of themselves that clients are not ready to see. With the right questions, a coach can gently open to door to those parts and help the client connect more deeply with themselves.

This is the superpower of a great Coach. There are no set questions to ask, but rather questions unique to the individual based on their previous answers. This is where transformation lies: In probing deeply with specific open-ended questions. When we continue through the layers of our own understanding, we gain access to underlying frameworks and beliefs. From this, new levels of awareness are created for the individual.

For self-reflection and acting from a place of your highest self, you need a place emotionally and physically where you can feel secure & safe. Physically - create a corner in your house or office cubicle where you can allow yourself to be safe and secure. Emotionally - take out time in a day where you can feel yourself, away from the complexities of the modern life. And that's your recipe for self-reflection.

Safety and non-judgment is paramount within the Coaching relationship. It is within this space that the individual is able to trust and open up freely about their thoughts and feelings. However trust is not immediate. Rapport must be fostered and respect ensured so that the best interests of the individual are at the forefront of the Coaching partnership.

Psychological safety is a must. To enable a client to fully open up to you and be their true authentic selves, this must be fostered. Think body language, tone of voice, choice of words and timing. Is this question the right one to be asked at this time? What is my client communicating to me through their body language (55% of comms comes from this!)

Tools such as the Gibbs' model can help with reflective exercises as they provide a structure and enable the person who wants to reflect, to have more concrete concepts to reflect on. The 6 steps in the cycle are: 1. Description 2. Feelings 3. Evaluation 4. Analysis 5. Conclusion 6. Action Plan

In my experience coaching leaders and teams the topic of self-awareness and reflection comes up quite often when discussing areas of strength as well as opportunities to develop. As a coach, show up with curiosity for your clients so that you can create an environment to challenge their current perceptions and support the growth in their own awareness to claim areas that give them permission to reach their full potential. By demonstrating vulnerability, humility, and openness it can establish a culture that focuses on developing a growth mindset rather than fixed which can carry through to those around them as it begins to get engrained in their DNA.

In NLP coaching, model reflection is the alchemy of self-discovery. Imagine a mirror that not only reflects your surface but also reveals hidden galaxies within. Coaches guide clients to explore their mental maps, beliefs, and emotional constellations. As they gaze into this cosmic mirror, they find stardust—new perspectives, resilience, and transformation. Remember, reflection isn’t a mere glance—it’s a deliberate gaze into the depths of possibility. As coaches, we hold the lantern for our clients, illuminating their unique paths toward greatness and respective breaking through.

Reinforcing positive behavior, especially when related to greater self reflection can help create a safe space for the client and retrain their brain to be more willing to reflect deeply. Notice when a client is open to reflecting, support them in that process and reinforce the behavior while being sure to respect their boundaries and not push any further than they're willing to go at any given point.

In personal coaching, it’s crucial to emphasize self-reflection in the feedback and evaluation process. Additionally, consider setting clear goals and expectations, encouraging open and honest communication, tailoring feedback to individual needs, fostering a growth mindset, promoting accountability and ownership, addressing both strengths and areas for improvement, providing ongoing support and resources, and regularly reviewing and adjusting coaching strategies for effectiveness.

4 Tips for Nurturing Self-Awareness in Coaching ✴️ Coaching individuals who lack self-awareness is a challenge. ✴️Inability to see blind spots, can hinder growth. ✴️4 tips to navigate the situation: ➡️1.Approach feedback not as evaluation, but learning opportunity. ➡️2.Metaphors & analogies illustrate feedback in non-threatening way. ➡️3. Encourage curiosity through open-ended questions. ➡️4. Active Listening & Empathy ➡️Show genuine interest in the coachee's experiences and perspectives. ➡️Instead of directly pointing to weaknesses, use analogy of tuning musical instruments. ✴️Coaching individuals with limited self-awareness requires creative approaches. ⏺ To quote Ken Blanchard "Feedback is the breakfast of champions."

Coaching is a balance of identifying strengths and probing areas for improvement. Specifically in the beginning, coaching should focus on the individual's strengths. However growth comes via the challenging process of identifying areas for improvement. It is only through honest self-reflection that we move forward.

Introduce more silence. The busier we stay, the more distracted we allow ourselves to be, the easier it is to disassociate and become disembodied. Reflection occurs when we are present in our bodies with all the emotions and feelings that are there. That quiet place inside ourselves can be reached through meditation, walking, watching ocean waves- but we have to slow down to get there. This is where we process events and stories and feelings and grow into our future selves.