What do you do if your colleagues' emotions are affecting your professional relationships?

I like to use the metaphor of an elevator. Your IQ - your cognitive intelligence - is your elevator in life. Your EQ, the Emotional Quotient that measures your emotional intelligence, is your trajectory upwards or downwards. We need both, because you can be a genius with a high IQ - but if you can't collaborate effectively with people, than your IQ won't get you far in the workplace or in life.

The approach I found helpful in my experience: 1.Assess the Situation: Identify specific emotions and behaviors impacting the relationship. 2.Self-Reflection: Acknowledge personal reactions and biases to remain objective. 3.Empathize: Understand colleagues' perspectives and emotions without judgment. 4.Open Communication: Initiate a calm and private conversation to address concerns openly. 5.Active Listening: Listen attentively to understand their feelings and concerns thoroughly. 6.Collaborative Solutions: Brainstorm mutually beneficial solutions to improve the relationship. 7.Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to maintain professionalism and respect. 8.Follow-Up: Regularly check in to ensure progress and issues respectfully.

This is a sensitive topic to approach so best to do this one on one with your colleague in a relaxed atmosphere. Maybe invite your colleague for a coffee break away from the office desk or make it a walking discussion. Get to understand his or her perspectives and what has triggered the emotional reactions. If a personality profile was done during the time of hiring, have a look at their profile to understand insights into their behaviour and abilities. Discuss emotional regulation and the triggers with empathy and together come up with solutions as how you can support your colleague to be emotionally mature. This benefits one personally and professionally.

Everyone sees the world as they are, not as it is. We succumb to confirmation bias in a world filled with information overload. Looking for situations, events and information that match our cognitive view of the world. Because it makes us feel more comfortable. The opposite, when we feel challenged or disagree or are having difficult with change - causes emotional discomfort. Understanding your colleague's emotions is key in order to manage relationships at work, ignite intrinsic motivation for higher levels of performance, increase their and your quality of life at work, and manage the constant change every workplace is dealing with.

If you are someone who is quite sequential in their way of thinking and analysing, you may find quite some value in the ABCDE-technique from Dr. Albert Ellis. His work on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy shines light on the correlation between emotions and our behaviours. A= Activating Event: What triggered you? B= Beliefs: What beliefs do you have when you feel triggered? C= Consequences: How did those beliefs cause you to respond or to react? D= Debate, Dispute, Discard: How can you challenge your beliefs and separate facts from fiction? E= Effect: As a result from going through A, B, C, and D, what is the effect/outcome and what can/did you do differently, that has/had a more positive impact?

Un aspecto que nos puede ayudar a gestionar las emociones es tomarse de forma constructivas las opiniones o "críticas" de los demás. Cuando dedicamos mucho tiempo a estar pendientes de lo que dicen los demás, gastamos "energía emocional" que en algunos casos puede hacer "que perdamos los papeles". Así pues cuando recibamos alguna opinión que no sea de "nuestro agrado " es importante quitarle "hierro" para obtener ese equilibrio emocional dejando la ira "en el banquillo".

When emotions start to affect professional relationships, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and tact. In my experience, seek solutions together. Approach the situation as a team and brainstorm constructive solutions. This can help alleviate tensions and foster a more positive work environment. Also, encourage self-care. Remind your colleague of the importance of self-care and encourage them to take breaks or seek additional support if needed.