What do you do if your feedback to your superiors is not well-received?

My favorite method of giving feedback has always been a sandwich approach i.e. two positive feedbacks and a negative one in the middle. This helps in establishing that you are not there to attack and do appreciate the positive aspects of the person. Start the second one with terms such as "However, one thing that can be improved" or "something that could benefit us tremendously" which suggests that you are ernest with your feedback. Then you end the feedback with another positive one. One thing to note, is that both your positive and negative feedbacks should be honest and well thought and not bring your personal emotions into the conversation.

If your feedback to your superiors is not well-received, most likely it means that you have given it more from a "emotional" perspective, than from a factual one. What I mean is, even considering that you used "facts and figures" to reinforce your points, you most probably have expressed yourself with a language that might be judgemental or, diminishing or, imperative or, confrontational, or alike, without even noticing. For example: the word "should" (used in abundance in feedbacks). Every time you "should" someone, you are telling that person "your view is wrong and mine is the correct one". Instead of "we should do this to move forward", you can use, "based on X the way I see moving forward is..." Your selection of words is crucial.

When your feedback to superiors isn't well-received, first stay calm and reflect on the situation to gain a better understanding. Politely seek clarification for the feedback's reception and acknowledge your superior's perspective to validate their viewpoint. Reflect on your delivery, considering if its manner or timing affected the reception. Maintain a professional attitude throughout and seek advice from trusted seniors or colleagues. Adopt a growth mindset and process any negative emotions professionally. Keep your goals in focus, and express appreciation to your superior for their response, fostering a positive atmosphere.

One thing to also consider while reflecting is how the feedbaxk was delivered: written, verbally are even non-verbally. A written document can both be more accurate and more prone to risk of misinterpretation. The beholder’s state of mind is crucial in how a message is received and often this is not under your control. This applies both to how you extended the initial feedback as well as to how you received the perceived negative reply.

If appropriate, follow up on the feedback you provided. Reiterate your points in a professional and non-confrontational manner. Clarify any misunderstandings and express your willingness to work together to address the issue. Consider alternative approaches: If your feedback was not well-received, consider alternative ways to address the issue. This could include seeking advice from a mentor or HR, or exploring other channels for providing feedback. Maintain professionalism Regardless of the response to your feedback, it's important to maintain a professional demeanor. Avoid becoming defensive or confrontational, and focus on finding constructive solutions to any issues that were there.

If your feedback to your superiors isn't well received, it's important to stay calm and professional. Take the opportunity to clarify your points in a respectful manner, focusing on specific examples or data to support your feedback. Listen carefully to their concerns and be open to constructive criticism. It's also helpful to seek guidance from a mentor or trusted colleague on how to effectively communicate your feedback in the future. Ultimately, maintaining open communication and a positive attitude can help navigate any disagreements and foster a productive working relationship.

Ensure your feedback is constructive, specific, and delivered at an opportune moment, ideally in a private setting. Frame your observations as opportunities for mutual growth rather than criticism. If direct feedback remains challenging, consider seeking a mentor within the organization who can offer guidance or mediate. It's also valuable to create a culture of open dialogue by inviting feedback on your own work. Sometimes, leading by example can gradually shift perspectives on feedback from defensive to receptive. The goal should be mutual improvement and fostering a positive work environment.

To look after : - an external support (point of view of a friend, coach...) - internal "sponsors" to bring a nuance to the hierarchy relations and give more confidence and perspectives

A good leader will appreciate the feedback no matter how it is provided. If it is a bad leader, don’t waste your time. It’s not your job to please their ego.

Die meisten wissen zwar inzwischen, dass das Wort "aber" nichts in dem Satz nach einem guten Feedback zu suchen hat. Sie nutzen stattdessen Worte wie zum Beispiel "allerdings", "nur", "trotzdem", "dennoch". Diese Worte wirken allerdings wie ein "aber" im Smoking. Sie klingen besser, sehen besser aus, zerstören aber das vorangegangene positive Feedback.