Struggling with a mentor who hinders your growth? Learn how to reassess, communicate, and potentially find new mentorship for mid-care career success.

If your executive network isn't aiding career growth, seek external feedback. Colleagues or mentors can offer insights that might escape your notice. This outside perspective is invaluable; it can highlight unseen issues or affirm the path you’re on. In my role, feedback has been a cornerstone for growth, providing clarity and direction when faced with career stagnation. It's crucial to view such feedback as constructive, even when it challenges your current approach. Utilizing this advice, reassess your strategies and network engagement to better align with your career objectives. This approach not only broadens your perspective but also sharpens your focus on actionable steps for advancement.

While training to be a Barrister, I had several mentors so I could answer this question several times over, but one stands out and still spurs me on to challenge the status quo. A now famous female judge reluctantly mentored me and her dismissive, belittling style could have crushed my confidence. But, I was just angry that working in my spare time to save for the cost of this mentoring week was being wasted and that the vital experience I needed was passing me by. When I requested a new mentor the chambers clerk almost fell off his seat! But thank goodness I pushed as this led to a mentorship that was positive and inspirational, marking a pivotal moment in my professional development. = Don't accept the wrong fit! No good will come of it.

What do you do if your mid-career mentor is hindering your professional growth?

Mentoring is a powerful tool for professional development, particularly in the midst of one's career. However, there are times when a mentorship relationship may turn counterproductive, stalling rather than advancing your career growth. If you find yourself in such a situation, it's crucial to navigate the challenge with care and strategic thinking. This article will guide you through the steps you should consider taking if your mid-career mentor is inadvertently hindering your progress.

1 Assess Fit

Begin by evaluating the mentorship fit. Reflect on your goals and assess whether your mentor's guidance aligns with them. It's possible that the mentor's expertise or network was valuable at an earlier stage but is no longer pertinent to your evolving career path. If your professional objectives have shifted, the mentor who once provided invaluable insights may now be steering you towards a trajectory that doesn't resonate with your current aspirations. It's essential to identify the disconnect and consider whether it can be bridged through open communication.

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Carolyn Shepherd

Founder @Emmeline.AI | AI Trainer, AI Coach, AI Consultant | Demystifying AI for HR, Legal, L&D and colleagues across the business. Founder of @Eledecks HRIS for SMEs
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While training to be a Barrister, I had several mentors so I could answer this question several times over, but one stands out and still spurs me on to challenge the status quo. A now famous female judge reluctantly mentored me and her dismissive, belittling style could have crushed my confidence. But, I was just angry that working in my spare time to save for the cost of this mentoring week was being wasted and that the vital experience I needed was passing me by. When I requested a new mentor the chambers clerk almost fell off his seat! But thank goodness I pushed as this led to a mentorship that was positive and inspirational, marking a pivotal moment in my professional development. = Don't accept the wrong fit! No good will come of it.

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Natalie Wong

Image and Mindset Consultant | "I help you walk into any room with rock-solid confidence" | Professional Development Trainer | Certified RTT ® Hypnotherapist | NLP Practitioner 🧞♂️
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Think back to the reasons you chose that mentor. Do they still answer your needs? Do they provide you with the guidance you need? What do you require now that you did not require before? If you answered no to all these questions, it's time to do something about it.

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2 Open Dialogue

Initiate an open and honest dialogue with your mentor. Express your concerns and objectives clearly, without placing blame. A productive discussion can lead to a mutual understanding and a recalibration of the mentorship focus. Remember, a mentor's intention is to support, not hinder. If they're unaware of the negative impact they're having, they can't make amends. Approach the conversation with respect and a willingness to listen, which can foster a more effective mentorship dynamic.

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Natalie Wong

Image and Mindset Consultant | "I help you walk into any room with rock-solid confidence" | Professional Development Trainer | Certified RTT ® Hypnotherapist | NLP Practitioner 🧞♂️
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Engage in a dialogue with your mentor, expressing your thoughts openly. Should you come to the realization that it's time to explore new horizons, your mentor might gently guide you towards that conclusion. Though it may seem daunting, initiating this conversation is crucial for growth and progress.

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3 Seek Feedback

Solicit feedback from colleagues or other mentors to gain an external perspective on the situation. Sometimes, others can pinpoint issues or solutions that you might not see because of your proximity to the problem. This feedback can also serve as a reality check, ensuring that your perception of hindrance isn't a misinterpretation of challenging but ultimately beneficial guidance. Use this input to reassess your stance and decide on the best course of action.

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Iain White

Tech Consultant | IT Leader | Mentor | Virtual CTO | Leadership Coach | Project Manager | Scrum Master | IT Strategy | Digital Transformation | IT Governance | Agile | Lean | Theory Of Constraints | SaaS | Brisbane.
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If your executive network isn't aiding career growth, seek external feedback. Colleagues or mentors can offer insights that might escape your notice. This outside perspective is invaluable; it can highlight unseen issues or affirm the path you’re on. In my role, feedback has been a cornerstone for growth, providing clarity and direction when faced with career stagnation. It's crucial to view such feedback as constructive, even when it challenges your current approach. Utilizing this advice, reassess your strategies and network engagement to better align with your career objectives. This approach not only broadens your perspective but also sharpens your focus on actionable steps for advancement.

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4 Set Boundaries

If the mentorship continues to be misaligned with your needs, setting clear boundaries is essential. Articulate the specific types of support and advice that are helpful and those that are not. By doing so, you can manage the relationship in a way that minimizes its negative impact on your career. Boundaries will also help your mentor understand how to better assist you, potentially transforming the relationship into a more positive force in your professional life.

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5 Explore Alternatives

Consider exploring alternative sources of mentorship. This could mean seeking another mentor within your industry or branching out to find guidance in different sectors that align more closely with your career aspirations. Networking events, professional associations, and online forums are excellent places to connect with potential new mentors who can offer fresh perspectives and advice tailored to your current goals.

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Natalie Wong

Image and Mindset Consultant | "I help you walk into any room with rock-solid confidence" | Professional Development Trainer | Certified RTT ® Hypnotherapist | NLP Practitioner 🧞♂️
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Start looking at other mentors who may provide you with the guidance that you need. Look online, go to networking events, ask trusted colleagues for recommendations.

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6 Move Forward

Ultimately, if the mentorship cannot be salvaged, it may be time to move on. A respectful and gracious exit from the relationship allows you to maintain professionalism and leaves the door open for future interactions on better terms. Remember that your career journey is yours to navigate, and while mentors can provide valuable guidance, you have the autonomy to make decisions that best serve your professional growth.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Natalie Wong

Image and Mindset Consultant | "I help you walk into any room with rock-solid confidence" | Professional Development Trainer | Certified RTT ® Hypnotherapist | NLP Practitioner 🧞♂️
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Sometimes, we grow out of the mentor/mentee bond. It's not forever. Mentors are there to help you, but when they can't do it well anymore, they'll want you to find new support.

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What do you do if your mid-career mentor is hindering your professional growth?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess Fit

2 Open Dialogue

3 Seek Feedback

4 Set Boundaries

5 Explore Alternatives

6 Move Forward

7 Here’s what else to consider

Mentoring

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What do you do if your mid-career mentor is hindering your professional growth?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess Fit

2 Open Dialogue

3 Seek Feedback

4 Set Boundaries

5 Explore Alternatives

6 Move Forward

7 Here’s what else to consider

Mentoring

Rate this article

Thanks for your feedback

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