What do you do if you're faced with a heated disagreement between colleagues?

De-escalate it, let them both know you care about them and value what they bring to the agency. Call them by their name be neutral.

When someone is in a high state of arousal, their amygdala is taking over the bridge. Therefore, we must keep our own emotions in check. We should also speak slower and with shorter sentences. In an arousal state, we can only keep a couple of thoughts in our working memory, so speaking slower gives both the prefrontal cortex of both individuals a chance to catch up and for the amygdala to start recognizing that there is no life-threat. Simple to say, but not easy to do in a heated situation.

Appreciate the insightful tips! In my experience, fostering a collaborative environment where both parties feel heard and valued is crucial. By actively listening, assessing fairly, and communicating clearly, we can navigate heated disagreements effectively. Exploring solutions together and following up ensures a positive resolution. Thanks for sharing these valuable strategies! #ConflictResolution #Teamwork

It is imperative to listen for understanding instead of listening to respond. Paraphrasing back what the other person says can assure them that they were heard. It also gives the listener a chance to correct any misunderstandings before continuing the conversation.

If you are in the leadership position, you’re probably at fault.

The ability to not match others energy in highly charged situations is paramount to effectively de-escalate and evaluate a situation. A calm and steady presence will always be more effectual. When you can bring the energy back from a roar to a buzz, you will be able to deploy your active lisenting skills in order to gain the information needed to best assist the staff. You have to be intentional with your next steps and be open to hearing all sides of a situation. The ultimate goal is to bring everyone back to a place of civility so that the work can be done to find the best path forward. Whatever the ultimate outcome is, remain calm and do your due diligence.

I believe that this requires practice and intention. We all have different relationships with the people we work with. Some are more collaborative and hold a place for mutual respect than others. Seek out opportunities to find common ground with that one coworker you often do not see eye to eye with. That won't always be possible but you might be able to gain understanding of their decision making process or what kind of communicator they are. Knowing these things can help you decide how to best engage with them in a way that works for you and helps you move your work forward. These efforts will undoubtedly help you build empathy, active listening and conflict resolution skills which come in real handy when dealing with charged situations.

Don't be afraid to take a step back either when you realize that clear communication isn't going to happen or isn't working for you. Because it won't always work. Sometimes you will think you are being clear but the other person still isn't understanding you. It's ok to take a step back and breathe and tell them that you will have to come back to this discussion at another time when you've had the chance to reflect on what you've just heard expressed.

Speak to both colleagues separately to understand their grievances and needs. Don't rush to plan an encounter. Work with each separately and prepare each for a 'genuine encounter.'