What are the signs that you should end a mentoring relationship?

1 Lack of alignment

One sign that you should end a mentoring relationship is when your goals, values, or expectations are no longer aligned with your mentor or mentee. For example, you may have outgrown your mentor's expertise, or your mentee may have changed their career direction. If you find yourself disagreeing or feeling frustrated with your mentor or mentee more often than not, it may be a sign that you need a different perspective or support.

2 Lack of engagement

Another sign that you should end a mentoring relationship is when one or both parties are no longer engaged or committed to the relationship. For example, you may notice that your mentor or mentee is frequently canceling, rescheduling, or skipping meetings, or that they are not responsive or attentive to your communication. If you feel like you are not getting the attention, feedback, or support that you need from your mentor or mentee, it may be a sign that they are not invested in your success.

3 Lack of growth

A third sign that you should end a mentoring relationship is when you are not experiencing any growth or improvement from the relationship. For example, you may feel like you are not learning anything new, or that you are not applying the advice or skills that your mentor or mentee is sharing with you. If you feel like you are stuck in a rut, or that you are not reaching your potential, it may be a sign that you need a new challenge or opportunity.

4 Lack of respect

A fourth sign that you should end a mentoring relationship is when there is a lack of respect or trust between you and your mentor or mentee. For example, you may encounter ethical, professional, or personal conflicts, or you may feel like your mentor or mentee is not respecting your boundaries, confidentiality, or feedback. If you feel like you are being mistreated, manipulated, or exploited by your mentor or mentee, it may be a sign that you need to end the relationship immediately.

5 Lack of fit

A fifth sign that you should end a mentoring relationship is when the relationship is no longer a good fit for your personality, style, or needs. For example, you may have different communication preferences, learning styles, or feedback styles than your mentor or mentee, or you may have different interests, passions, or hobbies. If you feel like you are not connecting, enjoying, or relating to your mentor or mentee, it may be a sign that you need a different match.

6 How to end a mentoring relationship

Ending a mentoring relationship can be difficult, but it can also be a beneficial and healthy choice for your career development and well-being. If you decide to end the relationship, it is important to do so respectfully, honestly, and gracefully. You should be clear about your reasons and expectations for ending the relationship, thank your mentor or mentee for their time and effort, provide constructive feedback on what worked and what didn't in the relationship, and follow up with a written message or card. Express your appreciation for their contributions and achievements, as well as offer to stay in touch or provide referrals if appropriate.