What are some ways to use emotional intelligence to negotiate more effectively with your boss?

1 Prepare yourself

Before you enter a negotiation, you need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. Identify your goals, interests, and alternatives. What do you want to achieve, why, and how? What are your best and worst case scenarios? How flexible are you? Also, anticipate your boss's goals, interests, and alternatives. What are their motivations, concerns, and preferences? How can you align your interests with theirs? By preparing yourself, you can reduce anxiety, clarify your position, and plan your strategy.

2 Listen actively

During the negotiation, you need to listen actively to your boss. This means paying attention to their words, tone, body language, and emotions. Don't interrupt, judge, or argue. Instead, show interest, empathy, and respect. Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective and needs. Paraphrase and summarize what they say to check your understanding and show that you are listening. By listening actively, you can build trust, avoid misunderstandings, and identify common ground.

3 Express yourself

You also need to express yourself clearly and confidently during the negotiation. This means stating your goals, interests, and alternatives in a positive and assertive way. Don't be aggressive, defensive, or passive. Instead, use "I" statements to describe your feelings and needs. Use facts and examples to support your arguments. Use respectful and polite language to avoid offending or provoking your boss. By expressing yourself, you can communicate your value, address your concerns, and make your case.

5 Collaborate creatively

The goal of a negotiation is not to win or lose, but to find a mutually beneficial solution. You need to collaborate creatively with your boss to achieve this. Don't compete, compromise, or avoid. Instead, explore options, generate ideas, and evaluate alternatives. Use brainstorming, problem-solving, or decision-making techniques to stimulate creativity. Use criteria, standards, or benchmarks to assess alternatives. By collaborating creatively, you can create value, satisfy interests, and reach agreement.

6 Follow up

After you reach an agreement, you need to follow up with your boss to ensure its implementation and evaluation. Don't leave the negotiation without confirming the details, responsibilities, and deadlines. Instead, summarize the agreement, document it, and share it. Follow the action plan, monitor the progress, and provide feedback. Celebrate the achievements, acknowledge the challenges, and learn from the experience. By following up, you can reinforce the commitment, ensure the accountability, and improve the relationship.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?