You want to develop your Emotional Intelligence. What are the most important things to keep in mind?

There are two essential habits required to building Emotional Intelligence. The first is the habit of prudential self-reflection. A prudent person desires what is best for any given situation, knows what is real about it and then acts on it. The second is habit is empathy. Emotionally intelligent people are not only able to understand and regulate their own emotions, they are also able to understand how their emotional outputs impact others. Empathy can be learned over time. An extended benefit to managing your own emotions is the ability to understand, even enter into the emotions of others, which increases your ability to extend influence. You can't give what you don't have so to understand others emotions better, understand yourself.

- It is of the outmost importance to enter this exercise with an open mind, and be open and receptive for feedback. - When you reach out to your network for feedback, make sure you are capturing diverse perspectives, from people with varying backgrounds. - Once you have identified gaps and areas of growth, come up with a plan on how to address them, with SMART goals and clear timelines.

Firstly, self-awareness is crucial - understanding your emotions, triggers, and how they impact your thoughts and actions. Next, practice self-regulation by managing your emotions effectively, staying calm under pressure, and avoiding impulsive reactions. Building empathy is also essential, allowing you to understand and relate to others' emotions and perspectives. Effective communication skills, both verbal and non-verbal, play a vital role in expressing yourself and understanding others. Lastly, cultivating social skills to build and maintain healthy relationships is key to improving your Emotional Intelligence. By focusing on these areas, you can enhance your overall emotional well-being and interpersonal effectiveness.

To improve your emotional intelligence as a leader, consider: - Self-awareness: recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions to better manage them - Self-regulation: Develop the ability to effectively control your emotions and impulses - Social Consciousness: Paying attention to the emotions of others, understanding their perspectives - Social Skills: Develop strong communication, collaboration and relationship building skills to work effectively with others - Journaling: Reflect on your emotions and experiences by writing - 360 degree assessment: get feedback from various sources to better understand how others perceive you - Active Listening: Practicing listening to better understand others’ perspectives

To boost your Emotional Intelligence, focus on self-reflection and personal growth. Understand your own emotions and aim to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting on impulse. Effective listening and the ability to empathize—seeing things from another's perspective—can prevent you from taking things too personally. It's crucial to remember that not everything revolves around you. Recognize that everyone is trying their best with the resources they have. Some individuals may lack opportunities for growth, leading to frustration. Many carry unseen traumas that influence their actions and feelings. Strive for personal development, appreciate the good in your life, and acknowledge that facing challenges is a common human experience.

1. Identify your triggers: What situations put you in an elevated or reactive mood? 2. Understand the narrative: Notice the thinking traps that pop up when you get in that state. What stories are you telling? 3. Find a way to disrupt the pattern: A mantra, physical object, note, or other reminder can help ground you and get you back to center. 4. Journal often: Get to know yourself, your patterns, and your habits better by taking time to reflect each day

Practicing mindfulness as a leader involves integrating self-awareness and emotional regulation into daily routines. This may include setting aside time for meditation, practicing deep breathing exercises during stressful moments, and taking mindful breaks to refocus. Effective leaders also encourage mindfulness practices among their team, foster open communication, and lead by example in prioritizing well-being alongside productivity.

From my experience I understand my feelings better now. This helps me make good choices and lead my team better. I do different things to be more mindful every day. I might meditate, breathe deeply, write in a journal, or just pay attention to how I'm feeling. Each of these things helps me feel better and stay focused. Mindfulness has really helped me deal with stress, stay calm when things are tough, and get along better with people. Taking time for mindfulness each day has made me feel happier and nicer to myself and others.

Cultivating awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions is key to developing Emotional Intelligence (EI). Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you become more present in the moment. This awareness allows you to observe your emotions without judgment, fostering better self-regulation and empathy. Regular mindfulness practice also enhances your ability to pause before reacting impulsively, leading to more thoughtful and empathetic responses in your interactions.

Why is mindfulness important? When you practice mindfulness and learn to pay attention to the present moment, you are honing the skills essential for effective listening. Therefore, mindfulness or meditation benefits not only you but also those around you. People always appreciate being listened to and understood.

Emotions are more complex than you initially think. For instance, when you feel anger, it is essential to identify more clearly whether it is, for example, annoyance, frustration, bitterness, or fury. Each of these emotions tells a different story and can lead to distinct actions.

The full territory of emotional states is diverse, rich, constantly changing and subtle. The way you might get "excited" on a Monday morning, may not be the same state of "excitement" as on a Friday evening... To be able to navigate this rich and changing territory, an important starting point for most adults is to find... a map. There are plenty of maps available: the Atlas of Emotions by Ekman & the Dalai Lama, the Feelings Wheel (many versions) such as Dr. Gloria Willcox's version or the Bodily Maps of Emotions are effective references. To expand your vocabulary, you might want to begin with a simple exercise of "labeling" the emotions you might notice in yourself and others, to activate your awareness and sensibility.

Once, I found it hard to tell my team how I really felt. Simple words like happy or sad did not seem enough. So, I decided to learn more about feelings. Now, instead of just saying happy, I say excited or joyful. And if I am feeling bad about working, I tell them. Now, when I talk to my team, it feels more honest and real. And when they are having a tough time, I understand better how they feel too. Learning more about feelings has helped me lead my team better. It's made us stronger and more connected. So, I hope others can learn from my journey too. Let's all try to understand our feelings better and make our teams stronger together.

To enhance Emotional Intelligence (EI), it's crucial to be able to accurately label and articulate your feelings. This means going beyond basic emotions like "happy" or "sad" to describe nuanced emotions such as "frustrated," "grateful," or "anxious." When you can identify and express your emotions with precision, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and can communicate more effectively with others. Reading literature on emotions, journaling, or discussing feelings with trusted individuals can help expand your emotional vocabulary, leading to improved self-awareness and interpersonal connections.

I use an emotion where regularly because people don’t understand their emotions or the categories of them. For example, many people are surprised to discover jealously is an anger emotion. I also like to break emotions down into component parts eg guilt is often “happiness with fear of consequences”.

Practice not letting emotions get a hold on you in stressful and complex situations. Acting rashly in such situations will only make the problem bigger and make you regret your words later. However, this doesn’t mean that you should ignore your emotions. Instead, it's crucial to acknowledge and understand your emotions without letting them dictate your actions. Take a moment to identify what you're feeling and why. This self-awareness can provide valuable insights into your reactions and help you make more rational decisions.

I think this part of the article has mentioned a very important issue. Any action to develop emotional intelligence should lead to behavior change. But before that, it seems that there should be a change in people's attitude. A backward person may receive a lot of feedback from others, but these feedbacks do not change his behavior, and instead of responding, he reacts because his attitude about himself has not changed and he is still not ready to change himself.

Don't forget: it's all about practice and patience. The simple act of waiting 1 min until take a decision can help to calm the emotions down and activate your rational brain to think in a better solution.

“How” is the element missing for many people here. If they’ve lived with a certain reaction to emotional situations, they may know no other way. It’s key to see these as skills to work on. I would also like to highlight that some people experience heightened emotions - ADHD people certainly do. That makes emotional regulation harder.

Or rather, PAUSE first. Unless someone is physically attacking you, pausing can make all the difference. When we are calm, we make better decisions. And the pause makes this happen. Pause , Breathe , Go for a walk , Go to sleep. Whatever it takes to pause. And then do what your heart / gut / mind tells you to do. You’ve got it under control.

In my experience, receiving 360-degree feedback from colleagues and direct reports was eye-opening and invaluable in identifying areas for improvement in my emotional intelligence (EI). It can be humbling but incredibly beneficial to hear different perspectives on your interactions and leadership style. Some other actions I took is practicing active listening. Paying attention not just to words but also the speaker's nonverbal cues foster better understanding and empathy. It also helps to celebrate small wins. Recognizing progress, even incremental steps, keeps motivation high on the journey towards improving EI.

This can be very difficult for people. We develop a defensive ego because we need some level of protection. So an element of self kindness is also important; to recognise this is a journey, you are human, and you won’t go from zero to hero in one step.

As Daniel Pink says, better to ask for advice vs asking for feedback. You get better results. And for sure mistakes are learning experiences. Just dont repeat the same mistake twice. You rarely get forgiven.

Feeling safe under your leadership is key here! Fear of shaming, reactivity, retaliation, or disappointment can trigger inner turmoil in employees. If a leaders goal is to support a workforce that is successful in all measures, then an employee has to feel emotionally safe to lock into their flow, their innovation, their creativity, and their productivity. The parts of our brain that we need to fuel these successes get shut down and clouded when we sense our leaders are unpredictable in their responses and behaviors. Be predictably safe in how you show up as a leader!

Practice empathy by putting yourself in others' shoes and considering their perspectives and feelings. This helps deepen your understanding of emotions, enhances your social awareness, and strengthens your relationships. For example, when facing a disagreement with a colleague, take a moment to consider their viewpoint before responding. By empathizing with their position, you can approach the situation with greater empathy and find mutually beneficial solutions, fostering a more harmonious and collaborative work environment.

I learn to appreciate that no matter how close we are to someone or how closely we resemble someone in character, we will never be the same. We can never expect their emotions and responses to be the same as ours. We can never expect our solutions to be their solutions too.

Know Yourself: Understand your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Control Yourself: Manage your emotions and stay calm in tough situations. Understand Others: Listen and empathize with how others feel. Communicate Well: Express yourself clearly and resolve conflicts peacefully. Be Flexible: Adapt to different situations and people. Stay Positive: Stay motivated and resilient in tough times. Set Boundaries: Know when to say no and take care of yourself. Keep Learning: Keep improving and seeking feedback to grow.

Self awareness and aware of others. Bring positivity and growth to yourself and other in my opinion will elevate your emotional intelligence

Developing emotional intelligence (EI) is a valuable endeavor that can enhance various aspects of individual's personal and professional life. Here are some important things to keep in mind when working on improving emotional intelligence (EI): 01) Self Awareness 02) Self Regulation 03) Empathy (My favorite among all) 04) Social skills 05) Emotional awareness in others 06) Continuous learning and growth 07) Adapting to change 08) Feedback loop 09) Practicing mindfulness 10) Building positive relationships Empathy: Cultivate empathy by putting yourself in other's shoes and seeking to understand their perspectives, feelings, and needs. Listen actively and attentively to others, showing genuine interest and concern for their well-being.

Focus on self-awareness, recognising and understanding your own emotions. Cultivate self-regulation, managing emotions effectively in various situations. Practice empathy, understanding others' feelings and perspectives. Consistent self-reflection and seeking feedback are essential for continuous growth in EQ. Remember, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”