Your client is resisting change despite your coaching efforts. How can you break through their resistance?
Have you navigated client stubbornness? Share your strategies for overcoming resistance to change.
Your client is resisting change despite your coaching efforts. How can you break through their resistance?
Have you navigated client stubbornness? Share your strategies for overcoming resistance to change.
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From an advanced applied neuroscience perspective, "client stubbornness" is a deep emotional response pattern to discomfort (and is often protective, even if dysfunctional). The most critical aspect to observe in this context in order to overcome resistance, is the way they interact with discomfort: Are they able to recognize and articulate their emotions? Are they able to separate facts from assumptions? Can they communicate their needs effectively or are they overly accommodating? These and many other thinking and emotional response patterns to discomfort are critical in order to be change-ready. Having high or low mastery of these types of neuroscience-based skills (called Change-Readiness Skills) will make or break change processes.
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The desire for change must come from the client. Our role is to guide them into a state where they can identify their own problems and pursue exciting goals. By avoiding limbic arousal, we enable their prefrontal cortex to find solutions. Imposed diagnoses or solutions are seen as threats by the brain and resisted. True change happens when we inspire the client’s internal drive, avoiding the common misconception that people inherently resist change. If a client resists change, it means we’re not effectively guiding their growth. Our job is to engage their internal motivation and create an environment that fosters self-driven transformation.
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When a client resists change despite your coaching, it’s like hitting a wall – but walls are meant to be climbed, right? The key is to shift their focus from what they fear to what they can gain. Start by asking the right questions: “What’s holding you back?” or “What would success look like if we made this work?” Then, break it down into bite-sized wins. Instead of overwhelming them with the big picture, help them celebrate small victories. People often resist what they don’t understand, so transparency and trust are game-changers. Breaking through resistance takes patience, but once they see progress, their hesitation starts to fade.
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Resistance to change is a common challenge in executive coaching, but it often stems from underlying fears or uncertainties. To break through that resistance, I find it helpful to start by actively listening to the client's concerns and understanding their perspective. Building a sense of psychological safety can encourage openness. I also focus on aligning the change with their personal values and long-term goals, showing how embracing it can lead to greater success. Sometimes, reframing the situation as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat can shift their mindset and open the door to progress.
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I would aim to meet the executive where they are. There may be deeper root causes for their resistance, such as old beliefs, biases, or automatic thoughts they hold onto, which create mental barriers to change. I would encourage and challenge the executive to want to change, rather than feel they need to change, and explore what it will take to shift their mindset. As my coach mentor wisely said, our skillsets only go as far as our mindsets.
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