Here's how you can navigate constructive criticism from your boss.

Feedback that stings often comes out of the blue. If you start to feel agitated or upset, grab a moment. To go to the restroom, to get a refill, to check the printer. That gives you separation to clear your head before you continue the conversation with your manager. An unproductive thing to do is to build a wall of defensiveness when this could be the one of the best learning opportunities for your career. Don't waste it on spur-of-the-moment defensiveness like I did.

The most remarkable supervisors offer feedback because they genuinely want to witness your growth. They deliver it in a manner that inspires and motivates. Embrace their constructive criticism as a personalized roadmap for your growth journey. Consider their insights as crucial milestones guiding you towards both personal and professional development. If you find yourself with a less supportive supervisor, seek additional perspectives and prioritize feedback that aligns with your goals. Genuine support and mentorship should steer your growth journey, even if it means seeking it elsewhere.

After listening actively to your supervisor's feedback, recap what you heard, e.g., "I hear you saying that abc did not go well because of xyz, and I need to make a change. Did I understand that correctly?" Following their feedback, thank them, let them know you will take this back to think about it/ and you will let them know what your plans are at your next meeting. It's important to create space between feedback and our response. This allows for thoughtful reflection on what to accept or change, and what information, if any, to share with our supervisor.

It's crucial to approach feedback with a willingness to grow. But, reflecting on the boundaries of responsibility is equally important, especially in environments where unrealistic corporate standards take a toll on individuals. While constructive criticism can be valuable for professional development, it's essential to discern between what aspects of our performance we genuinely own and those that might be influenced by broader systemic issues within the organization. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, certain expectations can be unattainable or even detrimental to our well-being. Reflecting deeply can help us maintain a healthy perspective and focus on areas where we have agency and control. BTW, I'm a counselor specializing in burnout!

Don't be afraid to ask questions to your boss so you can understand the feedback more deeply. Being curious will also show your boss that the feedback is important to you and that you want to improve. Asking for concrete examples will help you understand when and where these instances have occurred, so you can catch yourself in the moment next time: "Could you provide more specific examples or suggestions on how I can address the areas you mentioned?" Another great question to ask is "Can you suggest some strategies or resources that could help me develop in these areas?"

Seeking clarification and asking questions are key to understanding performance expectations from your boss. It shows initiative and ensures alignment, leading to better outcomes. Embrace constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth by actively engaging in dialogue and seeking clarity.

By now, everybody knows about SMART goals, but it's worth highlighting the proactive step of sharing your plan with your supervisor. This action signals your commitment to growth and development, and by actively communicating your plan, you demonstrate a proactive approach to addressing areas for improvement.

3 steps in 4 seconds that I used to navigate my “critical” manager: 1. Acknowledge the information from what he/she said - 2 seconds 2. Detach the feeling or “critical” vibe from her and remind myself that: There must be some reasons made this “fire”, not just me :) - 2 seconds 3. Thanks her for telling you what she thought (instead of keep it in her mind and interpret the problem herself) - 1 second