How can you align your conflict management framework with your personal values?

1 What is a conflict management framework?

A conflict management framework is a set of guidelines and strategies that help you deal with conflict situations in a constructive and respectful way. It helps you to identify the sources, types, and levels of conflict, as well as the best approaches to resolve or prevent them. A conflict management framework can be based on various theories, models, or tools, such as the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, the Interest-Based Relational Approach, or the Circle of Conflict.

2 Why align your framework with your values?

Your values are the fundamental beliefs and standards that guide your actions and decisions. They reflect what matters most to you and what you stand for. When you align your conflict management framework with your values, you ensure that you are consistent, honest, and ethical in your conflict behavior. You also avoid compromising your integrity, violating your boundaries, or hurting your relationships. Moreover, you increase your confidence, credibility, and satisfaction in dealing with conflict.

3 How to identify your values?

Before you can align your conflict management framework with your values, you need to identify what your values are. To do this, you can use a values list, which is a comprehensive list of possible values that you can choose from. You can find many examples of values lists online or create your own. When using a values list, review the list and select the values that resonate with you the most, then rank them in order of importance. It's also important to ask yourself why they are important to you, how they influence your behavior, and how they relate to your goals and vision. Finally, write down your top 5 values and keep them in mind when creating your conflict management framework.

4 How to create your framework?

Once you have identified your values, you can create your conflict management framework by following a few steps. Firstly, define your conflict style. Use a self-assessment tool, such as the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, to determine your dominant and secondary conflict styles, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in each style. After that, evaluate how well your conflict style aligns with your values. For instance, if one of your values is respect, you may want to avoid a competing style that could damage relationships or adopt a collaborating style that could foster mutual understanding and trust. Furthermore, consider how your conflict style affects outcomes, emotions, and satisfaction in conflict situations. Lastly, adjust your conflict style accordingly to better align with your values and goals. This can be done by learning and practicing different conflict skills, such as active listening or problem-solving. You can also adapt your conflict style depending on the level of importance, urgency, or complexity of the conflict.

5 How to apply your framework?

After you have created your conflict management framework, you can apply it to your real-life conflict situations. Start by identifying the source, type, and level of the conflict, as well as the parties, interests, and emotions involved. This will help you choose the best approach to deal with the conflict, such as avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, or collaborating. Then you can implement your chosen approach in a respectful and constructive way, using the conflict skills that you have learned and practiced. Monitor and evaluate your progress and results, and make adjustments if needed.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?