How can you manage expectations in a coaching or mentoring relationship?

Managing expectations is a key skill for any successful coaching or mentoring relationship. It helps to avoid misunderstandings, frustration, and disappointment, and to ensure that both parties are clear about their roles, goals, and boundaries. In this article, you will learn how to manage expectations in a coaching or mentoring relationship by following these six steps:

1 Define the purpose

The first step is to define the purpose of the coaching or mentoring relationship. What are you trying to achieve? What are the benefits for both parties? How will you measure success? Having a clear and shared purpose will help you to align your expectations and communicate them effectively.

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Tania Chatterjee

Executive Coach | Certified POSH Trainer | DEI & Communication Coach | Co-founder of PeopleNorth & PracUp | Transforming Talent Development | Empowering Professionals through Experiential Journey
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Coaching needs expectation setting and co-creation of goals, so that the coach, coachee and the organisation (if client & user are separate) are on the same page. Mentoring program needs a policy at place. This outlines the role of a Mentor as clearly as that of a mentee. Mentoring programs often get chaotic because the roles and expectations are unclear. In coaching process however, the clarity that is required is, a coach is not there to offer shortcuts and tips. It is a lengthy process where a great amount of hard work as well as deep work is needed. Documenting such process, roles and expectations, can be useful for all the parties involved. At any point if there is a confusion, it is easy to walk out of the grey.

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2 Set SMART goals

The second step is to set SMART goals for the coaching or mentoring relationship. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. SMART goals will help you to define what you want to accomplish, how you will track your progress, and when you will review your results. SMART goals will also help you to adjust your expectations if needed.

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3 Establish the ground rules

The third step is to establish the ground rules for the coaching or mentoring relationship. Ground rules are the basic principles and guidelines that govern how you will interact, communicate, and respect each other. Some examples of ground rules are: confidentiality, honesty, feedback, availability, and accountability. Ground rules will help you to create a safe and supportive environment for the coaching or mentoring relationship.

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4 Clarify the roles and responsibilities

The fourth step is to clarify the roles and responsibilities of both parties in the coaching or mentoring relationship. Roles and responsibilities are the specific tasks and duties that each party agrees to perform and deliver. Some examples of roles and responsibilities are: coach or mentor, coachee or mentee, learner, facilitator, listener, advisor, and so on. Clarifying the roles and responsibilities will help you to understand what each party expects from the other and how they will contribute to the coaching or mentoring relationship.

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5 Communicate regularly and openly

The fifth step is to communicate regularly and openly with your coach or mentor, or your coachee or mentee. Communication is the key to managing expectations in any relationship. Communication helps you to share your thoughts, feelings, needs, and feedback, as well as to address any issues, challenges, or conflicts that may arise. Communication also helps you to celebrate your achievements, acknowledge your learnings, and appreciate your growth. Communicating regularly and openly will help you to build trust, rapport, and mutual understanding in the coaching or mentoring relationship.

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6 Review and revise

The sixth and final step is to review and revise your expectations in the coaching or mentoring relationship. Reviewing and revising your expectations means to evaluate how well you are meeting your goals, following your ground rules, fulfilling your roles and responsibilities, and communicating effectively. Reviewing and revising your expectations also means to recognize any changes, developments, or opportunities that may affect your coaching or mentoring relationship. Reviewing and revising your expectations will help you to adapt, improve, and optimize your coaching or mentoring relationship.

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Tania Chatterjee

Executive Coach | Certified POSH Trainer | DEI & Communication Coach | Co-founder of PeopleNorth & PracUp | Transforming Talent Development | Empowering Professionals through Experiential Journey
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In a lot of organisations, Mentoring Program starts with pomp and show. Everything is documented and accounted for, yet it fails. This is because this essential step of 'revisiting' and 'adapting' go missing. People often need reassurance and direction more than once, to continue mentorship program with the intent it started. Coaching as a process has "revisiting" "reviewing" in-built. What it needs strongly is involvement of the stakeholders as a reminder to people, the value the company is seeking and the sincerity with which the leaders are approaching this growth intervention.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Ramesh Sood

I coach leaders to help them become Coach Leaders
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For me if I have to say keeping it all simple, then, in my relationship with Coachee the following two are the builders of a strong relationship: 1. I expect my Coachee to listen, explore, learn and practice the learning. 2. My Coachee can expect Trust from me and that I would go beyond myself to give all that I have.. That's about it...

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Deepa R.

CIA, CFE, CAMS, CFCS, CORM, FICA | Board Advisor | Committee Vice Chair | Compliance Risk Regulatory Supervision
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One of the key elements needed to set and manage expectations in a coaching or mentoring relationship is to have transparency and agreement at the outset regarding the mentee/coachee's goals and the cadence of the meetings. Without this, we will just be throwing darts in the air.

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How can you manage expectations in a coaching or mentoring relationship?

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1 Define the purpose

2 Set SMART goals

3 Establish the ground rules

4 Clarify the roles and responsibilities

5 Communicate regularly and openly

6 Review and revise

7 Here’s what else to consider

Coaching & Mentoring

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How can you manage expectations in a coaching or mentoring relationship?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Define the purpose

2 Set SMART goals

3 Establish the ground rules

4 Clarify the roles and responsibilities

5 Communicate regularly and openly

6 Review and revise

7 Here’s what else to consider

Coaching & Mentoring

Rate this article

Thanks for your feedback

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