How can you network effectively if you're an introvert?

Here are five tips from an awkward introvert (me): 1. First, go in with the mindset that you are there to learn about other people. Connection happens from there. 2. Smile and lean into being a little uncomfortable. It’s perfectly normal. At least half the room are feeling like you do. Shy introverts are everywhere! 3. Look out for people who are either by themselves or might welcome a new conversation (eg. a group of 3 may have 1 not as engaged). 4. As an opener, admit you’re feeling a little awkward. People will empathise and you may bond over your mutual discomfort. 5. Focus on others and ask lots of questions.

The approach to networking is twofold - both mental and physical. When mentally preparing, think about these three questions: 1. Why am I going? 2. What do I want to achieve? 3. Who do I want to meet? By having a specific focus and a plan, you'll feel much more satisfied and fulfilled at the session. In terms of a physical approach, who do you think is the most important person for the success of your networking journey? A host or organiser of an event. Why? They are the gatekeepers, they take registrations, they can introduce you to people and they have a much larger database than the people attending. Get to know them, introduce yourself 48-72 hours before an event, thank them, ask them to help you by making introductions.

I love to have some starter questions prepared for two reasons, to calm my nerves and put others at ease. They appreciate it too. The focus is on connecting with someone on a personal level before you start talking shop. Learn about their hobbies, interests, passions. Think of it as 'dating for business'. My starter questions are: 1. What brings you here today? (easy and everyone can answer) 2. What interests you about...? (follow up from above) 3. If it's their first time - Where do you normally go to network? (learn about other networks) If they've been before - Can you talk me through the format of this event? (people love to help) 4. What do you like to do for fun? (I'm showing an interest in their interests) Connect well here.

Over a 2/2.5 hour event, and excluding formalities, you can have up to an hour to network 1-1. Look to have 8-10 meaningful conversations with the intention to follow up with 3. That way you don't feel exhausted at the thought of 'working the room' and you're having authentic and meaningful conversations. A host can help you by making focussed introductions, you could even ask them for a guest list beforehand so you can identify key people to focus on at the time. One time I attended an event and three days later I got three requests for my services. I had never met these people. They had been introduced to me by this organiser and get this, they didn't even attend the event. Who doesn't want business gifted to them in this way?

Online platforms offer a great option for introverts to get started connecting with others. It's an opportunity to show your skills, your expertise and add a little personality but you control how that's done. Effective networking in a nutshell is about connecting well with others and the best kind of networking feels like you're having a chat with a good friend (even if you've only just met). I love it when you meet in real life (after first connecting online) and it feels like you've known each other a long time. It's natural, you're in sync, conversation flows, it's relaxed. When people are able to show up confidently online they feel engaged, inspired and motivated to do it also in person at work and home.

10+ years ago I was terrified of all strangers, couldn't meet anyone for a coffee, attend events or get online. I couldn't say boo to a mouse. My world was intense fear and trying to run from it. When I learned how to network (a 2 year self discovery journey), a whole new world opened up to me, possibilities and opportunities galore. Now I speak on stage - go figure! I'm so grateful I made a decision to stop living small and take action. I broke out of a prison of my own making. I've gone from surviving to thriving and I love helping people show up and be seen. The best backhanded comment I get, "Now I've heard your personal story, I know I'm nowhere near as bad as you were. I think you can help me". I'll take it!