How can you provide constructive feedback that is perceived as helpful?

Two simple structures you can use to prepare your feedback are SBI and DEAR. SBI = situation (what was the context), behavior (what was the specific thing the person did that you're giving feedback on), impact (how did that behavior impact the situation, for better or worse). DEAR = describe (similar to the situation + behavior steps above), express (I statements of how it made you feel), ask (what you'd like to happen to repair or improve the situation now), reinforce (what positive outcome will occur if they make the change you just asked for) SBI tends to be used in more professional contexts, and DEAR in more emotional/personal relationship conflicts.

Despite its somewhat demeaning nickname, this method has lots of merits. It traces back to Roman Rhetoric technique 'captatio benevolentiae': starting off a discussion or speech that features an 'uncomfortable' message with compliments, helps the deliverer setting their audience in a positive disposition. If the compliment paid corresponds to what the receiver thinks of themselves, the speaker immediately acquires very strong credibility, which they can leverage when moving on to their key and less flattering message. To note: - never contradict the compliment and the area of improvement. E.g. if the compliment is on resilience, don't ask for more adaptability. - use the complimented strength as action tool for the final constructive part.

Many folks dislike the sandwich method, and for good reason - when we know tough feedback is coming, we tend to tune out everything else until we hear the punchline. Better to cut to the chase and deliver the difficult feedback, then once that's been processed together it can be put in context with counterbalancing positive feedback to reassure the other person that they are still valued.

One of the most challenging skills to demonstrate as a leader is empathizing. It is especially difficult when the organization is very goal driven and employees start to feel the pressure of it all. One must take a step back and check on how their employees are feeling by being empathetic. Remember that employees become more motivated when they feel heard and valued and this can happen even in the quickest of feedback sessions. We want to be the type of leader who inspires people to do well and change for the better which, after all, is the whole point of giving feedback.

This is the most important step in my mind. Giving feedback is great, but supporting and holding the client accountable is where the magic happens