How can you use active listening to improve your relationship with your partner?

1 What is active listening?

Active listening is a skill that involves paying attention, reflecting, clarifying, summarizing, and responding to what your partner says. It is not about agreeing, judging, interrupting, or giving advice. It is about creating a space where your partner feels heard and valued. Active listening can help you avoid misunderstandings, resolve conflicts, and deepen your connection with your partner.

2 How to practice active listening?

To practice active listening, you need to be fully present and focused on your partner, using verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are listening. Eye contact, nodding, and facial expressions can demonstrate your interest and attentiveness. Open-ended questions, paraphrasing, and reflecting can show that you are following and understanding what your partner says. Empathic statements, affirmations, and validation can demonstrate your support and respect for how they feel. Summarizing, feedback, and follow-up questions can indicate that you are engaged and interested in learning more.

4 How to handle challenges in active listening?

Even if you practice active listening, you may encounter some challenges that make it difficult to listen effectively. These challenges can be related to the content, tone, or style of what your partner says, such as if they say something that is confusing, contradictory, vague, or offensive. To handle these challenges and ensure effective listening, you should use your active listening skills to clarify, verify, or resolve the issues. For example, you can ask for clarification if you are not sure what your partner means; verify your understanding by repeating it back to them and asking them to confirm or correct it; resolve discrepancies by pointing out the gap or conflict between what your partner says and does; and address offensiveness by expressing your feelings and asking them to rephrase or apologize.

5 How to benefit from active listening?

Active listening can bring many benefits to your relationship with your partner, such as improved communication, empathy, and trust. It can also enhance intimacy, satisfaction, and happiness. To reap the rewards of active listening, you should strive to communicate effectively by avoiding miscommunication and misunderstanding. You should also work to empathize deeply and understand your partner's perspective, emotions, and needs. Additionally, active listening can help you build trust, honesty, and reliability with your partner while respecting their autonomy and boundaries. Finally, it can create a bond between you and your partner that allows you to appreciate and celebrate them.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?