How do you give feedback without resistance?

You should never provide feedback unless: 1) You know who the person is 2) Why you are delivering it 3) It's constructive 4) You know what the expectation and desired outcome is from providing the feedback

Effective feedback can only be delivered in an atmosphere of trust, which typically takes a bit of time to create. If you need to create trust quickly, here's a few suggestions... Be approachable and friendly: Display a warm and welcoming demeanor to create a positive first impression. Active listening: Pay close attention to what they are saying, ask follow-up questions, and show genuine interest in their thoughts. Establish common ground: Find shared interests or experiences to create a sense of connection. Be honest and transparent: Share information about yourself in a sincere way to build reciprocity in sharing. More in next post!

Setting the right environment and psychological safety is essential for delivering feedback and ensuring it's received well. I am a big fan of the SCARF Model and often use it to determine if I have thought through what "the other person" may need to feel comfortable. Another important aspect is timing. Depending on the feedback you need to deliver, asking the other person what time(s) they are available immediately provides them the autonomy to choose something that works for them. The second item that's often forgotten is to let the other person know what they can do to prepare in advance to receive feedback. Again, this empowers them to walk into the meeting feeling confident and prepared.

I love the SBI Model but often find it's a bit limiting since most conversations aren't always easily boiled down to simply the Situation, Behavior and Impact. What I recommend is use it as a guide or framework and make sure you give yourself enough time to deviate on each area. Lastly, with this model in particular, know your facts (vs. fiction). The model is predicated on specificity not subjective interpretation so do your homework first if you plan to use SBI.

As a coach you are trained to ask the other person if they are open to coaching or in this case feedback. After 20+ years I still do it, even when the other person says, "of course I am...that's why I am here" - it's always a chuckle but it's not always a laughing matter. There will undoubtedly be times when you broach a topic or say something that triggers the other person. Being aware of the natural ebbs and flows will allow you the opportunity to ask if they wish to continue discussing that topic or move on.

So I am not sure I agree completely with this AI paragraph and here's why: As coaches we are trained to look forward sure, but the past is a place of reference and when working with someone in the present it's important to unpack and learn why they are where they are today and that typically can be found in their past. To focus on building the future of a client without acknowledging their past would be a big mistake and house of cards waiting to collapse. Again, you don't dwell in the past - you discover what you need from it that relates to the present and ultimately guides you into the future.