What do you do if you fail and need to develop self-compassion?

❤️🩹 Everyone wants ☀️, ❤️🩹 no-one wants pain 😫. ❤️🩹 ❤️🩹 But, you can't have a 🌈, ❤️🩹 without a little rain. Hey Friend! It's Okay to remember the thing you get told on airplanes. You know? The first oxygen mask you put on is Yours. Life's just the same. You Gotta be kind to yourself. Failure is normal and to be encouraged; hey you know this you're a coach. Make some time for yourself. That's you, no-one else. Take a break and ask yourself; 'what's the worse that will happen if I connect with Daily Gratitude Practice for a week?' Just three things. Give yourself a little space from what you thought the presenting problem was. Punchline ( it's you ). Allow the emotion to pass and gift yourself a little U time.

Acknowledge your feelings and Allow yourself to feel upset or disappointed, but don't dwell on negativity. you are a human , Everyone makes mistakes Recognize that failure is part of the human experience. Focus on what you can control and Analyze the situation and look for areas of success Seek support by Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or mentor that can offer valuable perspective and encouragement.

In the face of failure, it's natural to want to push away the pain or blame ourselves for falling short. But I've learned that acknowledging our emotions, even the painful ones, is the first step towards growth. As Brené Brown wisely said, "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do." So let's embrace our vulnerability and recognise that it's okay to feel hurt—it's a sign of our humanity and resilience. #SelfCompassion

Leaders are often too hard on themselves. They set high standards and blame themselves when they fall short. For example, a CEO I worked with was very critical of himself after a product launch that didn't meet expectations. As high achievers, we think being hard on ourselves pushes us to excel, but it actually limits our potential.

First, know that nothing has gone “wrong”. Wrong is just a perspective of the kind but has no objective truth. Second, see failure as an opportunity to learn & grow. All the greats fail. Everyone who has ever “succeeded” has failed more than they can count. It’s natural, it’s part of the process. Start treating yourself like you would a best friend when you notice your inner critic speaking up.

First, know that nothing has gone “wrong”. Wrong is just a perspective of the kind but has no objective truth. Second, see failure as an opportunity to learn & grow. All the greats fail. Everyone who has ever “succeeded” has failed more than they can count. It’s natural, it’s part of the process. Start treating yourself like you would a best friend when you notice your inner critic speaking up.

Reframing allows us to see a situation from a new perspective, one that reveals the positive aspects—the opportunities—even within difficult situations. When I'm coaching corporate executives and entrepreneurs, one aspect of my role is to challenge their existing beliefs and perspectives. The purpose? To help them see their situation from the perspectives of other stakeholders—as well as themselves. Think of a "problem" you face right now: How might reframing this as a "challenge" rather than a "problem" help? A "problem" is difficult, something that needs to be fixed or solved. When you think of a "challenge" what comes to mind? Perhaps a contest, an opportunity, an occasion to rise to. "Challenge" is charged with positive sentiment.

IMO- Experiencing failure is a part of life… and this is the first time I’m doing this “life thing”. I’m not an expert at handling every situation, and I never will be- so, of course I will fail. The important thing is not to let the failure stop me.

It's incredible how our inner dialogue shapes our perception of failure. When we're stuck in a cycle of selfcriticism, it's crucial to reframe those thoughts with kindness and empathy. Just as we would encourage a friend or colleague facing a setback, let's extend that same compassion to ourselves. As Maya Angelou said, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." So let's shift our mindset and see failures as stepping stones to growth and resilience.

In my coaching practice, I've seen high achievers prioritize goals over self-care. In moments of disappointment and self-doubt, they tend to deny themselves and work harder. I help clients create a personalized self-care toolkit, which includes mindfulness practices, time in nature, creative pursuits, social connection, and physical nourishment.

Self-care is crucial for emotional and mental health, particularly following setbacks. Establish rituals like walks, meditation, or reading for relaxation and rejuvenation, affirming that you merit care irrespective of outcomes.

Proactively and intentionally building in space for recharge and reflection after high stakes opportunities is an important component in cultivating resilience. Whether an opportunity goes well beyond our wildest expectations, derails in a highly disappointing way, or has any other outcome along that continuum, having carved out time in advance to recharge sets us up for long-term, continued success regardless of the relative success or failure of specific projects, engagements, etc.

Learning and practicing self compassion needn’t wait until a professional failure. Self compassion is an essential act of self care, intrapersonal resilience, and emotional maturity. Someone once shared with me that we should talk to ourselves the way we would talk to a dear friend. If a dear friend suffered a failure—professional, personal, relational—what would we say to that friend? *That* is how our internal monologue should be. We owe ourselves nothing less.

🛑 STOP: Caveat follows 🛑 ❤️🩹 All the best people 💝 (me too) ❤️🩹 Have coaching and regular support. You know already: there's no failure, only feedback. 🛑 Support alone is dangerous. It is about High Challenge and High Support in powerfully equal measure. Friends and family generally offer 'there there, it's all going to be Okay,' words. 100% support. This may serve you a purpose as you process the emotion. To really understand and process: Both Challenge and Support = Essential.

😕 S T R A N G E 😕 The premise to this ... That you have decided there is nothing more to learn, on the basis it's stating to Embrace Learning. I'm guessing you already seek to learn each day from everything that happens around you. I share the following with the invitation to get in touch, it's a tricky question to get your head around: When did you first decide to avoid failing? Where were you when you opted-out of self-compassion?

👣👣👣👣👣👣 E v e r y journey begins with a single 🦶 👣👣👣👣👣👣 Ask yourself but one single question, before you choose to Move Forward. "Before I release this negative feeling, what is there for me to learn?"

If you face failure and need to cultivate self-compassion, remember that the way we treat ourselves often mirrors how we treat others; what lies within us reflects outwardly. Thus, learning to be compassionate towards ourselves not only aids in our own recovery but also enhances our ability to approach others with greater empathy and understanding.

O N L Y One thing to take away. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Be Kind To Yourself If you're ever in need of an ear, hit me up. I am all about bringing a little directed sunshine.

These are all valid points. However, from my experience working with many high achievers (and my own experience), I've learned that they frequently set exceptionally high standards for themselves and often perceive self-criticism as essential for success. When working with clients who hold this mindset, the first step is to help them in recognising these unhelpful beliefs and help them understand that failure is an natural part of growth.