What do you do if your coaching and mentoring decisions are influenced by emotional intelligence?

1 Why emotional intelligence matters

Emotional intelligence is not a soft skill or a personality trait. It is a set of competencies that can be learned and improved. According to Daniel Goleman, a leading expert on emotional intelligence, there are four domains of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These domains affect how you perceive yourself and others, how you regulate your emotions and impulses, how you empathize and communicate, and how you build trust and collaboration. As a coach and mentor, you need to use these competencies to create a positive and supportive learning environment for your coachees and mentees.

2 How emotional intelligence helps you coach and mentor

Emotional intelligence can help you coach and mentor in many ways. For example, you can use your self-awareness to identify your strengths and weaknesses as a coach and mentor, and seek feedback and improvement opportunities. You can use your self-management to control your emotions and reactions, and adapt to different situations and challenges. You can use your social awareness to understand your coachees' and mentees' emotions, needs, and motivations, and tailor your approach accordingly. You can use your relationship management to establish rapport, trust, and respect with your coachees and mentees, and foster a culture of learning and growth.

4 How to develop your emotional intelligence

Developing your emotional intelligence is not a one-time event, but rather a continuous process that requires practice and reflection. To help you in this endeavor, consider assessing your current level of emotional intelligence, setting specific and realistic goals for improvement, monitoring your progress and results, and seeking opportunities to practice and apply your emotional intelligence. You can use self-assessment tools like the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal or ask for feedback from coachees, mentees, peers, or managers to get a better understanding of where you stand. Then, identify which domain of emotional intelligence you want to work on and what actions you will take to achieve your goals. Track your actions and outcomes and evaluate your performance and impact. Celebrate successes and learn from mistakes. Seek feedback and guidance from others and adjust goals and actions as needed. Look for situations that require you to use your emotional intelligence, such as coaching sessions or team projects, then reflect on the experience to identify what worked and what didn't.

5 How to use your emotional intelligence to coach and mentor

Using your emotional intelligence to coach and mentor is not a one-size-fits-all approach; it depends on your context, coachees and mentees, and goals. To help you use your emotional intelligence effectively, be authentic and transparent by showing who you are, what you value, and what you expect. Show support and encouragement by recognizing strengths, providing constructive feedback, and celebrating achievements. Additionally, be flexible and adaptable by adjusting your approach to suit their needs. Finally, be collaborative and inclusive by involving them in the process, asking for their feedback, and empowering them to make decisions. This will build trust and foster a sense of belonging.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?