What do you do if your colleagues lack emotional intelligence in the workplace?

I'd connect with leaders and ask for more support around developing EI in the workplace. There are some very low-burden, tangible strategies that can be developed to really steer workplace climate and culture in a more collaborative, creative and productive direction.

There is a person in our company who is constantly complaining about everything and everyone. He is one of these employees who seem positive, but in a one-on-one setting, he is always complaining (i.e., negative Nelly). Although I listen, I have had to set boundaries about what I say and even when I speak to him. Sometimes, I just can't afford the time or am reluctant to engage in an energy draining conversation. Unfortunately, he is unaware of his behaviour, and is unlikely to change it any time soon. Like I have always said, you can't change how others behave, but you can certainly change how you behave. Control the controllable, and let the rest go.

EI teaches us that looking outside is never the solution. In this case, it is not specified if that is a question from a leadership or team-mate perspective, but the reply does not change a lot. Many people have poor emotional skills and blaming them for this won't make them train them. It is not something we all learned during our life, unfortunately. So what can you do? Be an example of it. Show that different is possible and stand on your ground despite resistance. (if they have a low EQ there will be resistance to some degree) if you want to inspire them to improve EQ, empathy, patience, and respectful boundaries can light up interest.

Emotional intelligence starts with simply recognizing and understanding how you feel. It is up to each person to take on that responsibility, but you can model both the actions and the positive results. When you are feeling a strong emotion, note it but then also note the positives of that emotion. "That made me really angry when they did that - but I know that anger helps fuel my fire." "I'm really disappointed with that outcome, but that shows that I really cared." Seeing the emotions is great, but showing the positive benefits of the emotions and identifying them will help others follow that lead.

To go a bit further than the previous answer, you can also do the following. Self-awareness: becoming aware of how you feel about this situation and this colleague and explore it with mindful curiosity. Self-control: controlling your impulses of judgment and building up empowered action, that is compassionate to their inability and curious on how you can support them. Building up a relationship: Find common ground and a way you can still work with them despite the low EQ. If something needs to be addressed, use your skills of EI to address it in a manner that focuses on the actual work problem, and not them as a person.

Be the most empathetic person in the room. You have no competition. Even if people lack EQ, they tend to let down their defenses and defensiveness with those who are emotionally mature. Haven't you always liked being with people who listen, who are balanced, cheerful and strong? If you are not these, then you are in the same boat as your colleagues.

Two things that helped me a lot in creating enough inner space To let go of my own EGO so that I have a real chance at deling with those people's lack of emotional intelligence Are: 1. Forgiveness: both for them and their behaviour and for myself And the suffering I'm creating for myself by judging or by allowing my EGO to contemplate revenge. Forgiveness helps me let go of the past situation 2. Appreciation once you find something to appreciate at the other person you begin to like them So your body language and tone of voice changes accordingly Plus It's very hard to stay angry with a person you like As a consequence People who you like can feel it and they tend to like you back So communication starts working much smoother.

Keep in mind the impact a person with low EQ has on team culture. If you have clear values about what behaviours are expected at work and someone fails to meet them, the leader needs to step in to deal with it. We can teach people the skills of EQ so that they can set boundaries and not be adversely affected by people who are behaving poorly, but overall, it's going to affect the culture if it goes unchecked.

When my colleagues showcase the emotional range of a teaspoon, I morph into the office diplomat: part therapist, part peacekeeper. I dish out compliments like free candy, aiming to sweeten the mood. Then, I lead by example, showing empathy... I gently nudge them towards self-awareness, like herding cats with a laser pointer. It’s a delicate dance on a tightrope of patience... but the bottom line is... lead by example... not by telling!