Learn how to cope and improve your communication systems with a leader who lacks emotional intelligence. Find out how to assess, communicate, seek support, develop yourself, and consider alternatives.

I find that we often focus on what is being said or how things are written from the viewpoint of the communicator. So naturally we know what we said/wrote. Ideally we should seek to “hear” or “see” our words as the receiver. Ask yourself: “ What will others hear?” How will they feel?” What questions will they have?” Plan on following through with your audience and ask what they heard? How they felt? And what questions they have” It’s not what we say, but what is heard that really counts.

What do you do if your leadership in communication systems lacks emotional intelligence?

Communication systems are essential for any organization to function effectively, but they can also be challenging to manage, especially if your leadership lacks emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others, and to use them constructively in interpersonal relationships. EI can help leaders communicate clearly, empathize with their teams, resolve conflicts, and inspire trust and loyalty. However, if your leadership in communication systems lacks EI, you may face problems such as low morale, poor collaboration, high turnover, and reduced performance. So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? Here are some tips to help you cope and improve your communication systems.

1 Assess the situation

The first step is to assess the situation and identify the root causes of the lack of EI in your leadership. Is it due to personality, stress, ignorance, or other factors? How does it affect you and your team? How does it impact the quality and efficiency of your communication systems? What are the specific behaviors or actions that demonstrate the lack of EI? For example, does your leader ignore feedback, micromanage, blame others, or avoid responsibility? By assessing the situation, you can gain a better understanding of the problem and its consequences, and prepare yourself for the next steps.

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John Petry

Principal Consultant; GNT Consultants
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I find that we often focus on what is being said or how things are written from the viewpoint of the communicator. So naturally we know what we said/wrote. Ideally we should seek to “hear” or “see” our words as the receiver. Ask yourself: “ What will others hear?” How will they feel?” What questions will they have?” Plan on following through with your audience and ask what they heard? How they felt? And what questions they have” It’s not what we say, but what is heard that really counts.

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Sudha S Srivastava FRSA

Education & Gender Expert | SDGs Ambassador | UN CSW Delegate | Public Policy | Digital Transformations I Sustainability | Award-winning International Speaker | SDG4Youth | Circular Economy | Women Empowerment Ambassador
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In my experience, I always go through the whole things and assess how it feels on the other side of the table. It helped me a lot to add emotional intelligence 👍

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2 Communicate respectfully

The second step is to communicate respectfully with your leader and try to address the issue in a constructive way. This may be difficult if your leader is defensive, hostile, or dismissive, but it is important to express your concerns and expectations in a professional and polite manner. To do this, choose the right time and place; avoid confronting your leader in public or when they are busy or stressed. Additionally, use "I" statements to describe how you feel and what you need. Provide specific examples of the situations or behaviors that demonstrate the lack of EI, and explain how they affect you and your communication systems. Lastly, focus on solutions and suggest ways to improve the situation and the communication systems instead of dwelling on the past or negative aspects of the problem.

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Sudha S Srivastava FRSA

Education & Gender Expert | SDGs Ambassador | UN CSW Delegate | Public Policy | Digital Transformations I Sustainability | Award-winning International Speaker | SDG4Youth | Circular Economy | Women Empowerment Ambassador
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Absolutely! Respect is something one must always consider whether being a leader or communicating with a leader. It is also a great professional practice with positive outcomes.

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Victoria Pedercini

Strategic Director of program management with a proven track record in leading cross-functional teams and implementing innovative healthcare, retail and organizational solutions.
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One thing that I find helpful is to understand really well the message that I’m trying to deliver. Write it down, evaluate what is that you would want your leader to take away from your conversation. Once you have your key goal craft the message taking into consideration your leader’s EI, goals, personality, etc, so you can deliver in a way that would make them more open and less defensive. In my experience it has always helped to point out how the way they react to this feedback would align with his main goals and expectations and help me elevate my performance.

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3 Seek support

The third step is to seek support from others who can help you cope and improve your communication systems. This may include peers, subordinates, mentors, the HR department, or external consultants or coaches. You can share your experiences and feelings with those who can empathize and offer emotional and practical advice. Additionally, you can learn from people with more experience or expertise in communication systems or EI. Moreover, you can collaborate with others to identify and implement solutions, monitor and evaluate progress, and celebrate and reward achievements. This will create a positive culture and enhance the effectiveness of your communication systems.

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Victoria Pedercini

Strategic Director of program management with a proven track record in leading cross-functional teams and implementing innovative healthcare, retail and organizational solutions.
(edited)
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One way to do that is to connect with a mentor that excels at EI that can guide you on the best approach to either cope with your leadership lack of EI or even help you improve the situation.

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4 Develop yourself

The fourth step is to develop yourself and improve your own EI and communication skills. This can help you cope with the lack of EI in your leadership, and also set a good example for others to follow. To do this, you should take time to reflect on your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and goals. Be honest and self-aware, seeking feedback from others and learning from successes and mistakes. Additionally, try to understand the emotions, perspectives, and needs of others; show compassion and support, and avoid judging or dismissing them. When communicating, use clear language that is respectful and adapted to the situation. Avoid ambiguity, jargon, or sarcasm; use positive and constructive feedback. This will help you convey your message more accurately and persuasively while avoiding misunderstandings or miscommunication.

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Victoria Pedercini

Strategic Director of program management with a proven track record in leading cross-functional teams and implementing innovative healthcare, retail and organizational solutions.
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There is plenty of resources to improve your own EI. You can take it to the next level and facilitate a mentoring group where you can share where you have learned, about EI with your peers and influence the culture of your team from the bottom up.

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5 Consider alternatives

The fifth step is to consider alternatives if the situation does not improve or worsens. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may not be able to cope or improve your communication systems with a leader who lacks EI. In that case, you may need to consider other options such as escalating the issue to a higher authority, changing your role within the organization, or leaving the organization. Escalation should be done as a last resort and only after all other avenues of communication and support have been exhausted. Changing roles should be done carefully, after weighing the pros and cons of your decision. Leaving the organization should also be done as a last resort and only after exploring all other options and preparing yourself for the transition. You can search for employers that value EI and communication and offer you a positive and supportive culture and leadership.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if your leadership in communication systems lacks emotional intelligence?

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1 Assess the situation

2 Communicate respectfully

3 Seek support

4 Develop yourself

5 Consider alternatives

6 Here’s what else to consider

Communication Systems

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