What steps would you take to repair relationships between students after a serious behavioral incident?

Help the person see how their behaviour affected those around them. They may need help understanding consequences they can’t see, such as hurt feelings. Say: “What happened to you? To your friend? To your family? “ “What have you thought about since?” “Who else do you think has been affected/upset/ harmed by your actions? How?” “When I heard/saw __________, I felt __________because I __________.” “What role do you think you played in this situation?” “How do you feel now?”

One time, a couple of my students started throwing hands during break. I had to step in, get between them, and break it up, just easing them apart. Luckily, I’ve done that plenty of times on the basketball court, so it was no biggie. After that, I had a one-on-one with each of them, then made them squash it and shake hands!

A comprehensive study of the behavioural pattern of both the parties involved and other parties aware of it becomes essential to know the impact of the incidence on all who were involved and others who were not involved. Check the previous anecdotal records , talk to their teachers, friends, schoolmates before hand talk to them personally giving them space to speak the truth seperately. Make them feel you will not judge them being prejudiced. Find out if the seeds were sown out side the premises and sprouted in school. Also find out if their's any connection with parents political or competitive interest. Asses the end result of the behaviour and plan a strategy of reconciliation in such a way that shouldn't affect others behaviour.

Listening to the students' concerns separately and to assess the extent of the incidence are the first step. This can happen and is part of growing up. The students must be supported and reassured and observed for any further conflict. Teachers may focus too much on academics and not enough on supporting students’ emotional well-being. Maintaining relationships by continuing to implement the positive strategies. Take note of positive and negative interactions with students and acknowledge good behaviour. Regularly check in with students for any support that they may need. Research shows when teachers focus attention on positive conduct, disruptive behaviour is stopped before it becomes an issue. Show empathy & let go to make a fresh start.

This approach is a great foundation for mending student relationships. Assessing the impact of the incident and actively listening to the affected students provides a solid basis for addressing the underlying issues and ensuring that all voices are heard. Creating a safe, non-judgmental space allows for honest communication and helps students feel validated in their experiences. From this, you can begin to tailor your reconciliation efforts to meet the specific needs of the individuals and the group involved. It’s crucial that this step is approached with empathy and openness to build trust and foster healing within the group.

At the right time and in the right place , open the lines of communication. Let the person know that you will listen to them and their perspectives, then do just that. This is not the time for advice, lectures or judgement. Say: “How’s it going? I wanted to talk with you about ______________ .”

Create a friendly and strict environment where every student can share their perspectives without fear of judgment. Strict because the students should not go out of control. Your communication should be empathic and understanding. Offer support as needed and encourage the students who are in need.

This second step builds beautifully on the foundation of active listening and understanding. Initiating an open dialogue allows students to share their perspectives in a structured, respectful environment. By encouraging empathy and mutual understanding, you're helping students to not only express themselves but also develop their ability to consider the effects of their actions on others. Fostering this kind of emotional intelligence is key in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating conflicts. Ensuring that the focus remains on understanding rather than assigning blame helps create a more constructive and supportive environment for growth and reconciliation.

One thing I’ve found helpful is providing guiding questions to students as they focused on resolutions that move them forward. For example, “Going forward, how you like your interactions to be with _?” Additionally, I continue to provide support for all parties involved.

Essa é uma das práticas mais relevantes nesse contexto para resolver conflitos e reparar relacionamentos dentro de um ambiente educacional, como uma escola. Ao contrário de medidas punitivas tradicionais, que visam punir o indivíduo que cometeu um erro, as práticas restaurativas se concentram na reparação dos danos causados e na restauração dos relacionamentos afetados pelo conflito. Esse processo capacita os estudantes a assumirem a responsabilidade por suas ações, reconhecendo o impacto que tiveram sobre os outros, e a contribuírem ativamente para o processo de cura e reconciliação.

This step highlights a proactive and empowering approach to conflict resolution. Implementing restorative practices shifts the focus from punishment to healing, which can be much more effective in fostering long-term positive relationships. Restorative circles or meetings provide a space for students to engage in open dialogue about the impact of the incident and work together to create solutions. By encouraging students to take responsibility for their actions, you’re helping them develop accountability while also giving them agency in the healing process. This collaborative approach strengthens community bonds and allows students to see conflict resolution as a shared effort rather than something imposed upon them.

Allow them to explain the situation from their perspective. Try to see the situation from their point of view. Remember that people may often feel very differently about the same event. Say: “What happened?” “Can you tell me more about __________ .” “What were you thinking at the time?” “What were you feeling?” Actively listen and then summarise what you have heard. ‘so what you are telling me is…………………….’

Perhaps the best way to better understand behaviours is to seek ways to connect with students & build relationships with them. Parents often can tell us a great deal about their child’s disabilities & needs. Students' families can provide meaningful support as they know their children's behaviour & strategies. The school can provide pastoral support from experienced staff for listening, counselling and taking positive steps in maintaining good relationship. Taking part in sports or other extra-curricular activities is also the way forward. Sometime a whole School Community approach can help. Support might come from a secretary, a librarian, a volunteer, or the school nurse. Students also need a seating plan and support from peers in class.

This step emphasizes the importance of creating a robust support network for students after a behavioral incident. Offering access to counseling services ensures that students have the emotional tools and professional guidance needed to process the event and move forward in a healthy way. Involving parents or guardians strengthens the community's role in the healing process, making it a shared responsibility rather than an isolated school matter. This holistic approach provides students with the stability and understanding they need to not only repair relationships but also grow from the experience, ensuring that the resolution is sustainable and supportive in the long term.

Without monitoring behaviour after serious incidence can worsen the problem. The students must know they will be monitored and the situations reviewed. The responsible teachers and the team must check for any repeats of such behaviour. Working in collaboration with parents and families takes less effort to face such conflicts. Classroom rules and behaviours can be reviewed and signed by students and the teacher. Along with these monitoring, teams seeking lasting change must look at how and what each student learns and how they are being taught. Some of the most common causes of challenging behaviours are curriculum that is dull and lacks variety. Providing opportunities for communication, conversation, & choice making can make a difference.

Motivate the students. Always have a positive attitude. Encourage one another and provide any support in case of any need don't be selfish. These things will help you to grow in your career and strengthen the institution.