You're facing microaggressions in the workplace. How can you address them without escalating tensions?

Before labeling any behavior as a micro-aggression take a moment to separate the observed behavior from your interpretation about the behavior. Instead of jumping to a conclusion that the offense was intentional, question the motive. “I’m curious… was that supposed to be a put down?” Then pause. Let the other person respond. Chances are they may say “it was a joke,” or my favorite, “you are just too sensitive.” In that case, respond by saying, “perhaps so, but what I need from you is …” Don’t trap them by arguing. (You can’t know for sure what someone’s motive is.) Truth is, they may not be emotionally aware enough to know. The courage to address openly, without an accusation will shift their behavior and elevate their awareness.

This deliberate pause is not about inaction but about creating a mental space to reflect. Ask yourself: "How am I feeling right now? What is my initial reaction telling me?" This step is crucial for activating self-empathy, allowing you to recognize and manage your emotional responses before they dictate your actions. By reflecting first, you choose your response based on a thoughtful consideration of the situation rather than a knee-jerk reaction. Once you have managed your emotional state, shift your focus to truly listening to the other person. This means listening not just to the words being said but also trying to hear the unspoken needs and emotions. Ignore the tone.

Recognition also means acceptance. We need to accept that these microaggresions are normal in an environment where people come from different backgrounds, have different experiences, standards, aspirations as well as different approaches, needs and goals. Everyone shall feel respected for who they are while also feeling incentives to contribute in a healthy working environment where collaboration, communication and trust flourish.

- Once at work: If you notice a microaggression, it is important to approach it calmly and assertively as soon as possible. - In my experience: I realized that recognizing microaggression immediately helps to prevent it from becoming a standard and demonstrates that you are not willing to accept disrespectful behavior. - One thing I found useful: Use the constructive feedback technique in which you express how the behavior impacts you, and offers an opportunity for the other to reflect and adjust their behavior.

- Once at work: Keeping calm when dealing with microaggressions is essential. If you respond with anger or frustration, you can escalate the situation. Breathe deeply and choose a neutral tone of voice when addressing the behavior. - In my experience: I realized that keeping calm helps to communicate your message more effectively and prevent the conversation from becoming defensive. - One thing I found useful: Practicing relaxation techniques or brief breaks can help keep calm.

Take a moment to reflect on the incident and determine how it made you feel. Consider whether it’s a pattern or an isolated event. Determine if it’s something you want to address directly. If the behavior is repeated, it’s important to address it. Understand that while microaggressions may not be intentional, they still have a significant impact. Distinguishing between intent and impact can help you address the issue more effectively. Help the person understand why their comment or behavior was problematic. Explain the broader context and how microaggressions can affect individuals and the workplace environment. Suggest articles, books, or workshops on microaggressions and diversity to help the person learn more about the topic.

- Once at work: Before addressing a microaggression, reflect on the situation and the impact of behavior. Ask yourself if the comment or action was intentional or if there could be misunderstandings. Also evaluate the context and the best way to approach the situation without creating a confrontation. - In my experience: Reflecting on the situation helped me identify if there was a negative intention or if the behavior was the result of a lack of consciousness. This allowed me to choose a more constructive and less reactive approach, facilitating a more productive conversation. - One thing I found useful: Writing about what happened can help organize your thoughts and emotions.

Addressing microaggressions through open dialogue is the best way to handle these situations without escalating tensions. By engaging in a respectful conversation, you can clarify intentions, raise awareness, and promote a culture of understanding and inclusivity, ultimately leading to a more harmonious work environment.

- Once at work: Engage in a direct and transparent conversation with the person responsible for the microaggression. Use a collaborative approach. - In my experience: Maintaining an open dialogue, where both sides have the chance to express themselves and listen, facilitates conflict resolution and helps to build a more inclusive environment. - One thing I found useful: Encouraging another person to express their perspective and exploring how both can adjust their communications to avoid future micro-aggressions can be very productive. Showing that you are open to understanding and solving the situation can contribute to a more respectful and collaborative environment.

- Once at work: Clearly define what you consider acceptable and unacceptable in your interactions. If someone makes a comment that you consider a micro-aggression, say something like: I prefer that we don't make comments on the subject, because it makes me uncomfortable. - In my experience: Setting limits in a clear and respectful way helped to minimize uncomfortable situations and reinforce mutual respect. This also contributed to more direct and honest communication in the work environment. - One thing I found useful: Being consistent in applying your limits is crucial. Reinforcing your limits consistently, but calmly, helps to solidify your expectations and build a more respectful environment.

I find seeking support as the crucial initial step to take. Microaggression is usually unnoticed until one feels unhappy or uncomfortable without knowing the reason. Sharing the emotions and/or the uncertainty with the mentor or the correct personnel would definitely reduce the stress of setting boundaries at workplace! Take good care of yourself!