A Lesson for Growth: My Journey from Self-Blame to Teamwork
Years ago, while working offshore, I had an opportunity that I thought would transform my career. It was an interview for the Rapid Growth development program at PRIDE International, one of those rare chances that could change everything. I was eager, determined, and had already made it through the initial steps. Four major decision-makers in the company interviewed me, and I received unanimous approval from all four—securing my spot in the program, or so I thought.
As I headed back home, I was asked to work with the commissioning team led by DEREK TOAL. I remember being full of hope and confidence, believing I was about to take a significant step forward in my career. Then I got the call—Eves, a Frenchman, invited me into his office. I was nervous but confident, ready for whatever came next. He asked me one simple question: "Charlie, if I needed a ball bearing, what would you do?"
I thought I nailed it. I gave him a detailed explanation filled with engineering and design insights, thinking I had demonstrated my skills and knowledge. But to my surprise, Eves told me that he wouldn't pass me through. His reasoning? I wasn't detail-oriented enough.
It felt like something out of a Dave Chappelle skit—like he'd set me up and said, "Got ya!" I was crushed. For the next 13 years, I carried that moment with me, trying to prove that I was above and beyond. It hardened me and fueled a lot of guilt and self-blame, especially as a high achiever with trauma. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had let a golden opportunity slip through my fingers.
But this past Sunday, over a beer with a good friend in Ohio, I told him this story. He offered me a perspective I hadn't considered in all those years. The difference in his version of the story was simple but profound: in this industry, it's not about what you can do as an individual; it’s about what you can accomplish as a team.
That was the lesson I missed. In my younger self's eagerness to prove my worth, I had overlooked the importance of collaboration. I never once thought to engage with the team around me, to ask for input, or to recognize the knowledge of others. I was focused on doing it all on my own, and for a division leader, that mindset is a recipe for self-sabotage.
It took me over a decade, but I finally closed the chapter on something that had haunted me for years. Sometimes, lessons will repeat themselves until you're ready to understand them. The universe has a way of putting you exactly where you need to be, but only if you’re willing to listen.
Stay positive, stay true to yourself, and remember—it's not just about what you can do. It’s about what you and your team can achieve together.
Charlie Murphy is back, LinkedIn
Pride International #deepoceanAscension
