Today’s visit to a prospective foster carer left me feeling completely torn about my judgement. The applicant was eager to foster up to “six children” in her 9-bedroom home alongside her own two children, but what I saw raised significant concerns.
The living room was cluttered with items that didn’t belong: a pile of rubbish, an old car seat, heaps of clothes, a bottle of oil, and even a bottle of perfume. There was also a cardboard box full of potatoes, another of onions, and even avocados—all sitting on the living room floor instead of in the kitchen. The wardrobes and chest of drawers half open overflowing with clothes were placed in the living room to “create more walking space in the bedrooms,” a decision she strongly defended. At one point she asked, “who even puts wardrobes in the bedrooms?” I couldn’t think of a way to put it nicely and blurted, “most people I know”.
When I gently suggested decluttering, she pushed back, saying, “Oh, so you want a hotel?” I explained that fostering isn’t about creating a picture-perfect house but about providing a safe, welcoming, and homely environment—not just for foster children but for her own children too. She then requested pictures of what I wanted her home to look like, explaining that as an IT professional, “this is not my field”.
And yet, she has successfully supported her oldest child to pass grammar school exams—a clear testament to her dedication as a parent. This left me questioning my own judgement. Was I too harsh in my assessment? Should I look past the clutter and focus on her potential to care for vulnerable children? What about her motivation/unrealistic expectations around fostering 6 children?
Fostering requires more than a big heart and good intentions—it also needs an environment where children feel safe, valued, and secure. But can those things coexist with this level of disorganisation? This visit has left me wondering where we draw the line between high expectations and being overly critical.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What matters more—passion and potential, or the immediate environment a child would walk into?
#Fostering #SocialWork #MakingADifference #ChildCare #Reflections
